[oom] I'm right here beside you

[from_the_outside]

 Sleep is a joke.

It's not just the intel that she stays up sifting through, blue light straining her eyes; it's not just the coffee she drinks, trying to keep her brain sharp and her thoughts on track. 

It's time.

Minutes that slip away, that she can't get back. Hours that tick ponderously past. She lies alone in her bed and can't close her eyes because if she does, if she sleeps, it's another night gone, another night closer to the day Bucky goes back under and –

So she stays up and works. 

It means that when she waits for him in the morning to come find her before they meet with T'Challa and the others, her skin is pale and translucent and she has that sick feeling of an all-nighter, fatigue poisons running rampant through her bloodstream – but she has a list of observations from her analysis, and two mugs of coffee kept warm on the credenza: one pale with milk and sugar, the other black and as strong as her little coffee maker could handle.

Comments

[nerves_of_ice]

"That's one question answered," Bucky observes. It's the rest of it that's going to be harder.

Evidently T'Challa is thinking along the same lines, because he asks, "A favor for a favor. Would he accept something else in exchange, if there were something we could offer?"

[from_the_outside]

"It'd depend on what you're offering."

She comes back to the main group and stands near Bucky, folding her arms. "Fury's currency is information, connections. And a favor he can choose when he needs it is more valuable than something he might not be able to use right away. You heard him: he holds onto those favors until he can use them. But he's not a mob boss; he won't call them in until he has to, in order to do what whatever it is he thinks needs to be done. And he won't hold it over our heads. He's not looking for a power grab, he's just...practical."

[nerves_of_ice]

"There's another factor in play," Bucky says, and although he keeps his tone quiet and level, something about it draws T'Challa's immediate attention. He meets the king of Wakanda's eyes, and doesn't let himself look at anyone else in the room. Not now.

"Sharon's right. Information's part of Fury's stock in trade. And now he knows that you're willing to shelter someone who's been designated an enemy of the state." A single beat of silence falls over the room. He can hear Nakia's carefully steady breathing, can hear the single quick sharp breath that Okoye draws as it slams into her. He still doesn't look at Sharon. He can't.

"He likes Sharon. He's worked with her for years. Trusted her enough to make her 'Captain America's security detail.' Clearly he's still willing to work with her now, too, and doesn't care about the bullshit label they've pinned on her."

"But if he knows you're sheltering the Winter Soldier... that's something else entirely."

[from_the_outside]

"We can't let him know."

He's not looking at her, but she watches him carefully, looking for the tell-tale signs of tension. His voice is even, but it's too careful.

Fury can't know Bucky's here. And he really can't know her connection to him.

[nerves_of_ice]

"The question is whether or not he already knows," Bucky replies. He flicks a glance at Sharon. "I'm not saying Natasha told him. Or would ever. But he's a smart man. Well able to put the pieces together. You helped Steve, me, and Sam that day. Steve and Sam are with Natasha. You're not. I'm the only missing piece out of those."

He looks back at T'Challa, who's listening quietly. "As I understand it, you got extradition, before. You're covered for throwing me in as deep and dark a prison as you want, or whatever, but now that Zemo's been jailed the rest of the world could come claiming--"

"I do not care," T'Challa interrupts. "No one will take you from Wakanda unwilling. Ever. Let them try."

[from_the_outside]

"It's possible," she says, after a long internal struggle. "If he doesn't know, he might guess, and his guesses are usually pretty good. And it's possible that if he wants something badly enough from the UN or CIA, he'd give you up for it."

She can only think of one solution, and it's one she knows he'll hate, but – "But you're not the only valuable fugitive here. And his uses for you are pretty limited. Me, on the other hand..."

He already said it, didn't he? "He's used to me. I don't have one of the most famous faces in the world; I can operate outside Wakanda with less fear of being found and extradited. I think he might take my help in exchange for his silence. He knows I helped you before. He might be counting on it happening again now."

[nerves_of_ice]

"Sharon, no," Bucky starts, but then --

"No." T'Challa's declaration is flat and without room to argue, as is the look he turns on Sharon. "We will not trade in lives so. I will not. And we will not make decisions in this uncertainty."

He turns to Bucky. "We will let him know on the next call that you are here. If he thinks I do not care if others know, then that information loses much of its value. If this man is as trustworthy as claimed, this confidence may even be useful."

[from_the_outside]

"He's a good person to have on your side," she says. Her arms are still tight against her middle, but her voice is level. "And like I said, his goal is to protect people. He's not against pushing our buttons to do it, but he's not cruel. He's reasonable. If he knows that the Winter Soldier is gone for good –"

Her gaze flicks to Bucky. "Steve vouches for you, and he trusts Steve and Steve's judgment. And it wouldn't be the first time he's overlooked someone's background. Besides, he's done some shady-ass things in the pursuit of his own agenda."

[nerves_of_ice]

Bucky considers that for several seconds, looking back and forth between them, then nods. "Your call," he says. It's a little unclear who he's addressing that to; maybe it's both of them.

"In the meantime," Nakia puts in, "there are things we need to find out, if we can, from what we have learned in the intel collected. These meeting sites, for one. We do not have much time, if we are to meet with this man again tomorrow."

[from_the_outside]

"Right," says Sharon, who had honestly forgotten what they were talking about before Fury called. "I'll send you all this map and the coordinates. I think we should check out the location of the next meeting and stake it out if we can. If it's a handoff, we might be able to interrupt it, or track the people involved back to another stronghold or facility."

[nerves_of_ice]

Okoye nods. "That we can do. We can also send people to examine previous sites for anything that might have been left behind."

Bucky nods. "Anything we can learn about what they're trying to do... or make... will help. I found discrepancies between ammunition stock and weapons stock that might indicate they're trying to manufacture ammo as well as weapons."

T'Challa and Okoye trade a look at that, one that's less dismayed than might be expected.

"They are likely to be disappointed there," T'Challa says, "but we will get Shuri to test and be sure. I will ask her to join us with a report next time."

[from_the_outside]

"I'll feel a lot better about it if Shuri tells us it won't work."

Still, if they're wasting their time trying to find a way to make it happen? That's no bad thing.

She turns to T'Challa. "You mentioned my taking a tour of the mines, earlier. If Fury's right and we attempt to access the auction, we can establish my cover right here by having me tour as an outsider with an interest in vibranium. That would piss off the traditionalists like the Jackal and it would give me an opportunity to connect with some of the undercover mine workers, let them know that I have an interest in playing both ends against the middle. If I can get an introduction to their people through them, I'm sure we can get an invite to the auction."

[nerves_of_ice]

"We would have to be careful about taking them into custody after," Nakia warns. "So that it is not connected to you in any way. But yes, that could work well."

"It seems that we have much to do to prepare for tomorrow," T'Challa says. "Is there anything else that we need to speak of now?" He gives Bucky a long look, then turns to Sharon and gives her the same.

[from_the_outside]

"That's all I've got until we know more," she admits. "And until we know what we're dealing with from Fury."

Damn, he just can't keep his fingers out of pies, can he?

[nerves_of_ice]

"Tomorrow," is all he says, and after another long look, T'Challa nods at them both. "Very well."

Nakia moves to Sharon's laptop and does something with her Kimoyo beads, then smiles at Sharon. "I have the copy."

[from_the_outside]

She smiles despite herself, and nods.

"Then we will all see each other again tomorrow," T'Challa says. "We will meet here again at the same time. In the meantime, I must think on what we might be willing to give...and what we are not."

He clasps his hands behind his back and nods to Sharon and Bucky, then gestures to Nakia and walks with her through the door, followed by Okoye.

Sharon waits until the door closes behind them before she grabs the chair she'd used before and sits down like someone cut her strings. "Fury," she says, half to herself. "What the hell are you playing at?"

[nerves_of_ice]

"Want to know what I think?" He doesn't wait for an answer before crouching down on his heels beside her chair. "Remember when you were wondering why he hadn't contacted you, after D.C.?"

[from_the_outside]

She half turns to look at him, resting her arm on the back of the chair.

"Sure."

[nerves_of_ice]

"I think he didn't want to ask you to choose between working with him or working for Ross," he says, simply. "He didn't want to ask you to compromise your ethics. But now...."

Some of the icy blankness to his manner has faded as he says this, replaced by cool assessment.

"You're a hell of a good operative, Agent 13. Fury's not stupid. He's a lot of things, but never that."

[from_the_outside]

"Now? Now I'm compromised. And he can use that."

Maybe not her ethics. There are still some lines she won't cross.

(She thinks.)

She rests her head on her palm, looking at him with solemn eyes. "So much for bringing him up to T'Challa as an option, huh?"

As usual, Fury's two steps ahead. At least.

[nerves_of_ice]

"He can try. But you know what he's doing. In a weird way I guess that makes it a level playing field. As much of one as you get with him."

Bucky shakes his head. "He didn't have to show his hand by calling you directly. He could have strung it along, fed intel back, that kind of thing. He wanted you to know he's out there, and that he wants to work with you."

[from_the_outside]

"That's what worries me. He's not going to call me for help moving furniture."

She reaches across to shut her laptop, her hand lingering on the cover.

There's no such thing as a level playing field with Nick Fury. She's worked with him too long not to know it.

She huffs a wry breath of a laugh. "And this is him trying to be helpful."

[nerves_of_ice]

That momentary softening is gone as though it never existed.

"That worries me too." Bucky meets her eyes. "You're not trading yourself to him, Sharon. It's not worth that. We'll find another way."

[from_the_outside]

"You're right. I know you're right. I just..."

Belatedly, she realizes she's trembling, just slightly, from the force of this – this –

What is this, anger? Fear? It's been prickling under her skin since Bucky said if he knows you're sheltering the Winter Soldier, since he said extradition and she knew she'd do anything, anything at all to stop that from happening. She flexes her hand into and out of a fist, takes a deep breath. "Yes. We will."

[nerves_of_ice]

"Hey."

She's shivering, he realizes. He brushes his hand over her hair, then covers her hand with his own and squeezes, gently.

"Sharon. It's okay. It'll be okay."