[oom] I'm right here beside you

[from_the_outside]

 Sleep is a joke.

It's not just the intel that she stays up sifting through, blue light straining her eyes; it's not just the coffee she drinks, trying to keep her brain sharp and her thoughts on track. 

It's time.

Minutes that slip away, that she can't get back. Hours that tick ponderously past. She lies alone in her bed and can't close her eyes because if she does, if she sleeps, it's another night gone, another night closer to the day Bucky goes back under and –

So she stays up and works. 

It means that when she waits for him in the morning to come find her before they meet with T'Challa and the others, her skin is pale and translucent and she has that sick feeling of an all-nighter, fatigue poisons running rampant through her bloodstream – but she has a list of observations from her analysis, and two mugs of coffee kept warm on the credenza: one pale with milk and sugar, the other black and as strong as her little coffee maker could handle.

Comments

[nerves_of_ice]

He grins, quick and bright.

"Had to check."

[from_the_outside]

She grins back and pops a piece of fruit into her mouth.

"And I know I'm good company, so..."

She can't even finish the sentence without laughing.

[nerves_of_ice]

"Can't argue with that," Bucky says. "Even when you're giving me grief."

[from_the_outside]

"I better hope so," she says, and leans over to give him a kiss, smiling against his mouth.

"Seeing as that's most of the time."

[nerves_of_ice]

"I don't mind," he murmurs, after the kiss breaks. "In a way, it's kind of nice."

[from_the_outside]

"Nice? Really?"

She's teasing, fond and bright as she bites her lip at him and sits back. "Seems kind of awful of me."

[nerves_of_ice]

He huffs out a soft, amused breath.

"You don't tease people you don't like. Not like that, you don't."

[from_the_outside]

"Hmm."

She sips at her wine and sets the cup down, giving him a considering look. "I guess I like you, then."

Maybe a little.

[nerves_of_ice]

He stays where he is, easy and relaxed, leaning on his elbow with the cup of wine held loosely in his hand, and smiles at her.

"I'm glad to hear it. Especially since I like you too."

[from_the_outside]

"Well, that's a relief. You play it very cool."

Which is a straight lie, but she can't care, because it is a beautiful evening and the sun is just starting to edge along the horizon, and it's been too long since she's gotten a chance to sit and sip wine with him over a good meal.

[nerves_of_ice]

Without missing a beat, he says, "Maybe I'm ... just out of practice."

His tone, his inflection, is as near a match as he can make it to the one he was using in a cottage in France, some time ago.

[from_the_outside]

There's a curve to her mouth that says she hears it. "Maybe you are a little rusty," she says, and leans back over to him. "So let's try this again."

This time, though, she ends it with a kiss instead of a question that's nearly an accusation.

[nerves_of_ice]

He kisses her back, slow and gentle, as color begins to streak across the sky above them, here together in this moment of calm.

[from_the_outside]

When this kiss breaks, she leans her forehead against his and smiles, her hand still at his jaw. "Better."

How has it only been a week?

(How do they only have a week?)

She runs her fingers through his hair and sits up, nodding to the food. "Eat up, you handsome devil, before you distract me right out of dinner."

[nerves_of_ice]

"We can't have that," he concedes. "Not when you went to so much trouble."

He sits up as well, sets the cup aside carefully so that it won't spill, and reaches for another helping.

[from_the_outside]

"It wasn't much trouble," she says, watching him more than getting her own food. "I just thought it might be nice."

The last time they had a picnic like this, sipped wine like this, was the last time she had a good night until she came here, almost two months later.

...And it hadn't even been that good of a night. Her mouth ticks towards a rueful curve as she remembers the empty wine bottle and headache she'd woken up to the next morning.

[nerves_of_ice]

Bucky looks up at her, studying the curve of her smile.

"It is nice," he says, quietly. "Really nice."

[from_the_outside]

She blinks out of her reverie, her eyes turning warm and pleased. "Good."

The light's beginning to fade; she reaches into the pack and pulls out a series of battery-powered column candles; she switches them on and sets them on the blanket, where they throw their warm, flickering light over the wine, the food, his hand and arm and face.

"I didn't think real ones would be a good idea," she says, when she looks back at him, that half-curve still tucked into the corner of her mouth. "It's pretty dry. So far I haven't had any dates that end in a massive wildfire; figured I should try to keep that record going."

[nerves_of_ice]

"Neat trick," he murmurs, watching the candles flicker, then studying the play of their glow across her skin. After a moment, he reaches out to spread her hair over her shoulder, looking at the way the light warms its soft gold.

[from_the_outside]

She watches him, all aglow in the dying sunlight and the warm electric candlelight, and doesn't move as he arranges her hair over her shoulder.

"I've got a few tricks up my sleeve," she says, her eyes and voice both soft. "I wouldn't want to run out of surprises."

[nerves_of_ice]

"I doubt you ever could," Bucky says, open and honest, as he gently draws his fingers through her hair. "You're a constant mystery, Sharon. You're amazing."

[from_the_outside]

"They're just candles," she says, amused and more than a little touched.

(When was the last time someone said she was amazing?)

She tips her head, lets a few more waves of her hair fall over her shoulder for his fingers to brush through. "Not even real ones."

[nerves_of_ice]

"They look real enough to me."

He coils a lock of hair around his index finger, lets it untwist, and does it again.

[from_the_outside]

She watches as he twirls her hair around his finger, something warm and fond playing around her mouth.

"You like it in curls?"

[nerves_of_ice]

"Yes. And without them, too," he adds. "But yes."