[oom] I'm right here beside you

[from_the_outside]

 Sleep is a joke.

It's not just the intel that she stays up sifting through, blue light straining her eyes; it's not just the coffee she drinks, trying to keep her brain sharp and her thoughts on track. 

It's time.

Minutes that slip away, that she can't get back. Hours that tick ponderously past. She lies alone in her bed and can't close her eyes because if she does, if she sleeps, it's another night gone, another night closer to the day Bucky goes back under and –

So she stays up and works. 

It means that when she waits for him in the morning to come find her before they meet with T'Challa and the others, her skin is pale and translucent and she has that sick feeling of an all-nighter, fatigue poisons running rampant through her bloodstream – but she has a list of observations from her analysis, and two mugs of coffee kept warm on the credenza: one pale with milk and sugar, the other black and as strong as her little coffee maker could handle.

Comments

[nerves_of_ice]

The endearment rings in his ears like a bell as he returns the kiss and kisses her again, and again, like there's no tomorrow, no next week, only now, here, together.

[from_the_outside]

If she was worried at all about him not wanting her to stay the night, it's burned away beneath his kisses and the feeling of his body against hers and his arm around her waist. She shifts in his lap and shivers hard, fingers tightening in his hair as she laughs, breathless, and kisses him again.

[nerves_of_ice]

He's lost in her, drowning under the warm weight of her body, the feeling of her hands in his hair, her mouth on his. His hand tightens on her hip as he pulls her closer, rocking up against her as he murmurs her name over and over between kisses.

[from_the_outside]

"Baby," she says, utterly captivated, entirely carried away. "Bucky."

She kisses him again and again until she's shaking, both hands buried in his hair, pressing herself against him as close as she can, soft noises stuck deep in her throat every time he rolls his hips up against her, and she pushes closer a little too enthusiastically, has a moment of vertigo as they unbalance, and then laughs into his shoulder when they land in a tangle of blankets and each other.

[nerves_of_ice]

He starts laughing as well, and twists onto his back, pulling her over to rest on top of him.

"Okay, so maybe not one of our best ideas," he manages. "Still."

[from_the_outside]

"Could be worse," she agrees, stretching out on top of him and framing his head with her forearms. She's still grinning as she leans down to kiss him again, the curls he'd twisted into her hair falling over her shoulder to brush her cheek and his.

[nerves_of_ice]

"True." He kisses her back, then reaches up to tuck her hair behind her ear.

[from_the_outside]

"Have we had good ideas?" she asks, smiling as she tips her head into his touch.

Arguably no. But there must have been one or two.

[nerves_of_ice]

"You ask that like you're expecting me to have been keeping track."

[from_the_outside]

"Good point."

She folds her arms on his chest so she can rest her chin on them and watch his face, warm and amused. "The tracker was a good idea," she says, definitive. "Maybe one of my best."

[nerves_of_ice]

He looks very amused by that observation, and tells her,

"You know I left it in my boot, right? It's still there."

[from_the_outside]

"Good," she grins.

"Keep it. Means I'll always be able to find you."

[nerves_of_ice]

Bucky laughs.

"Afraid of a challenge?"

[from_the_outside]

"Yes," she says, absolutely straight-faced. "That's me. Always taking the easy route."

[nerves_of_ice]

"Uh-huh." He brushes his fingers through her hair again, then smiles at her. "Okay. I'll leave it alone for now."

[from_the_outside]

"Good."

Not that he's likely to be out of reach anytime soon. Leaving Wakanda isn't a good idea for her, but it's damn near impossible for him.

But that's not what she wants to think about right now; she leans up to kiss him lightly instead.

"Nothing wrong with having a back-up plan," she points out, smiling back. "Or two."

[nerves_of_ice]

"At least," he agrees, and pulls the throw over her shoulder.

[from_the_outside]

She huffs a laugh and settles against him, resting her head on his chest and basking in his warmth and the slow up and down of his breath beneath her.

[nerves_of_ice]

He's quiet for some time, listening to her breathe, running his hand over lightly over her hair.

Eventually, he murmurs, "Let me take you inside."

[from_the_outside]

She hums a contented sound and takes a breath like she's surfacing from underwater, then lifts her head to look at him.

"Okay."

Even with the agreement she's reluctant to actually roll off him, but she does after a moment, collecting the purple throw into a loose bundle in her hands and shivering slightly as the cool night air hits her skin.

[nerves_of_ice]

She shivers, and he reaches to grab the edge of the throw and fling it back around her shoulders before picking up the battery-powered candles and putting them away.

(First things first, after all.)

It doesn't take long before everything's collected. Bucky gets to his feet and holds a hand out to her.

[from_the_outside]

She takes his hand and stands up, wrapped in one throw and holding the other, and she lets him take the wicker pack of leftover food and the candles. It saves her free hand for the tote that she picks up before they go inside, though she sets it right back down again near the chest at the end of his bed, along with the two throws.

"Here," she says, holding out her hands for the pack. "I'll put the food away."

Not that there's much left, but there will be a few leftovers for him to supplement his usual beans and rice.

[nerves_of_ice]

"Okay," he agrees, and passes it over. While she's doing that, he digs out the candles again, switches them back on and sets them on a couple of shelves. It's a nicer light than the lantern he's been using.

[from_the_outside]

She closes the little fridge and comes to stand behind him, wrapping her arms around his middle and setting her chin on his shoulder.

"That's nice," she comments. "Very cozy."

[nerves_of_ice]

"Your idea," he points out, turning to look down at her with a small, warm smile. "So thanks."