[oom] I'm right here beside you

[from_the_outside]

 Sleep is a joke.

It's not just the intel that she stays up sifting through, blue light straining her eyes; it's not just the coffee she drinks, trying to keep her brain sharp and her thoughts on track. 

It's time.

Minutes that slip away, that she can't get back. Hours that tick ponderously past. She lies alone in her bed and can't close her eyes because if she does, if she sleeps, it's another night gone, another night closer to the day Bucky goes back under and –

So she stays up and works. 

It means that when she waits for him in the morning to come find her before they meet with T'Challa and the others, her skin is pale and translucent and she has that sick feeling of an all-nighter, fatigue poisons running rampant through her bloodstream – but she has a list of observations from her analysis, and two mugs of coffee kept warm on the credenza: one pale with milk and sugar, the other black and as strong as her little coffee maker could handle.

Comments

[from_the_outside]

"Very," she agrees, settling her head against his shoulder. The sky is all blush and palest blue now and she's beginning to feel the day's warmth seep through the air.

It's lovely.

[nerves_of_ice]

"Although you can go back to sleep if you want to," he murmurs, and oh, but his tone is fond. "I won't mind."

[from_the_outside]

She smiles and runs her thumb over the back of his.

"I like sitting here with you," she tells him, even as the warmth in his voice cracks something in her chest wide open.

Besides, she can always nap later.

[nerves_of_ice]

"I'm glad," he murmurs. "Because I like it, too."

[from_the_outside]

It's all extremely peaceful and romantic, which is why Sharon dissolves into helpless laughter when the morning calm is shattered by the bleating of a newly awake and clearly starving goat.

[nerves_of_ice]

Bucky just sighs.

"That's what I get for letting them get used to an early morning feeding schedule," he grouses. "Wait here. I'll go take care of them and come right back."

[from_the_outside]

"You better," she grins, "before they break out and come for you." One of the goats bleats more loudly, aggrieved, and that sends her into a cascade of giggles again.

She's still grinning as he gets up and heads to take care of the goats, and as she tips her mug to drink the last of her now lukewarm coffee.

Maybe being up this early isn't so bad after all.

[nerves_of_ice]

He distributes grain and a flake of hay, fills the water trough, washes up again, and ducks into the hut to retrieve clean clothes, all in short order. When he comes back to rejoin Sharon, he also brings the press with him.

"Refill your coffee, ma'am?"

[from_the_outside]

"Why, thank you, kind sir," she laughs, holding up her mug.

"You know, I think I like staying over here. Look at this service!"

[nerves_of_ice]

Bucky smiles, and pours her mug full, then splashes a bit more coffee into his own mug where it still rests on the ground.

"Give me a second and I'll bring the milk and sugar," he promises.

[from_the_outside]

"You're the best," she says, and she absolutely means it, her smile flashing bright and warm in the new morning sun.

"I'll be right here."

[nerves_of_ice]

"Good," he says, quietly, and vanishes back inside the hut.

When he comes back out, he's repurposed the dish bin again, and has everything she needs to doctor her coffee the way she likes it.

He sets it down in front of her, then resumes his seat beside her and reclaims his own coffee.

[from_the_outside]

She goes through the little ritual of perfecting her coffee – pouring the milk, adding the sugar – and sits back again with him once she's finished.

The air is so fresh; it smells like morning dew and lakewater and crushed grass. She takes a deep, slow breath of it and lets her gaze drift across the slowly-waking world.

"Thanks for letting me stay," she says, after a long, peaceful moment and a few sips of coffee. She rolls her head against the hut wall to look at him, her mouth ticking towards a faintly rueful smile. "I didn't want to give up that much time."

[nerves_of_ice]

He doesn't answer her at first, instead paying an abnormal amount of attention to his own coffee.

"Don't thank me," he murmurs, finally. "I just ... before." He glances at her. "It's not that I didn't want you here, Sharon. Don't think that. I just... didn't want you to know how bad it was."

[from_the_outside]

"Bucky," she says, gently, cupping her mug in her hands and meeting that flicked glance with her own steady gaze, "it's only been a week. You wouldn't need to explain yourself even if you didn't want me here. And I'd rather know."

I think of you as a partner, he'd said. Partners back each other up, no matter what. "I don't want you to be alone in the middle of the night with those dreams."

[nerves_of_ice]

She's right, he knows. It hasn't been very long at all, for what's growing between them. It just feels longer, and he can't explain why. But that's not what matters to him right now.

He shakes his head. "Don't thank me," he says again.

[from_the_outside]

She watches him for a moment longer, considering her options.

"If it helps," she says, finally, "I slept better last night than I did the night before without you."

Interruptions notwithstanding.

[nerves_of_ice]

His smile is small and wry.

"That's probably because you didn't spend the entire night poring over intel."

[from_the_outside]

"I spent the night poring over intel because I couldn't sleep, not the other way around."

The op doesn't worry her. Not really; she's done a million just like it, and last night she had no idea Fury would be involved. She trusts her own abilities to analyze the intel and she trusts his, too.

[nerves_of_ice]

He shakes his head again, just a little, but doesn't argue with her. Bucky sets his coffee aside and puts his arm around her, a steady, warm support.

[from_the_outside]

She grins a little and takes his hand to put his arm around her neck instead, then hands him his coffee mug.

"You shouldn't have to choose," she points out. He'll just wind up pulling her closer when he goes to take a sip; oh well.

[nerves_of_ice]

"Clever," he approves. "As long as I don't spill it on you."

Carefully, he takes a sip, and looks satisfied with the result. More than one result.

[from_the_outside]

She laughs as he moves his arm and tugs her closer so he can get to his mug, and mirrors his satisfied expression before leaning up to press a kiss to his neck.

"There you go," she says, pleased with herself.

[nerves_of_ice]

He draws her a little closer and turns to kiss her hair.

"It's going to be a long day, I know. But this is nice."

[from_the_outside]

She sighs in a way that means Fury is exhausting. "Yeah. But I feel better now that Steve's involved. We should be able to make a real plan with what we get today."

She tips her head to peer up at him, without moving away. "Are you planning on being part of the stake-out?"

She's not even sure she should yet, but she doesn't have a good read on how much of this he plans to take part in before he goes under.