[oom] I'm right here beside you

[from_the_outside]

 Sleep is a joke.

It's not just the intel that she stays up sifting through, blue light straining her eyes; it's not just the coffee she drinks, trying to keep her brain sharp and her thoughts on track. 

It's time.

Minutes that slip away, that she can't get back. Hours that tick ponderously past. She lies alone in her bed and can't close her eyes because if she does, if she sleeps, it's another night gone, another night closer to the day Bucky goes back under and –

So she stays up and works. 

It means that when she waits for him in the morning to come find her before they meet with T'Challa and the others, her skin is pale and translucent and she has that sick feeling of an all-nighter, fatigue poisons running rampant through her bloodstream – but she has a list of observations from her analysis, and two mugs of coffee kept warm on the credenza: one pale with milk and sugar, the other black and as strong as her little coffee maker could handle.

Comments

[from_the_outside]

That gasp makes her grin, and she slides her hand further down, slips it up under his shirt to press her palm to his warm skin.

The throw's sliding off their shoulders now, but she's not feeling the chill at all anymore.

[nerves_of_ice]

"Sharon," he breathes, barely audible, as her fingers move over his body. "Baby."

[from_the_outside]

She hums against his throat and paints kisses up the line of his neck to his ear, smiling against it.

"Bucky," she whispers, feeling like there's a torrent of words she can't quite find that crystallize into this one name.

[nerves_of_ice]

"Yes."

It's all he says, all he can say, confirmation and affirmation and permission for anything she wants, all in one.

[from_the_outside]

It's enough, and more than, for her; she shifts and meets his mouth with her own, kisses him long and deep as her fingers track over his ribs.

"God," she says, finally, when she can, pressing her forehead against his and breathing hard, "you absolutely wreck me, you know that?"

[nerves_of_ice]

"Look who's talking," he murmurs, holding himself still under her touch.

[from_the_outside]

This is dangerous, not just for the usual reasons, but because she's absolutely certain in this moment that there isn't a damn thing in the world she wouldn't do for him.

With someone like Fury breathing down their necks, that's a bad position to be in, but she can't find the desire to care about what might happen, not now when he's so close and his heart is racing against her hand. "Sweetheart," she murmurs, instead of anything else she might say, and kisses him again, softly.

[nerves_of_ice]

The endearment rings in his ears like a bell as he returns the kiss and kisses her again, and again, like there's no tomorrow, no next week, only now, here, together.

[from_the_outside]

If she was worried at all about him not wanting her to stay the night, it's burned away beneath his kisses and the feeling of his body against hers and his arm around her waist. She shifts in his lap and shivers hard, fingers tightening in his hair as she laughs, breathless, and kisses him again.

[nerves_of_ice]

He's lost in her, drowning under the warm weight of her body, the feeling of her hands in his hair, her mouth on his. His hand tightens on her hip as he pulls her closer, rocking up against her as he murmurs her name over and over between kisses.

[from_the_outside]

"Baby," she says, utterly captivated, entirely carried away. "Bucky."

She kisses him again and again until she's shaking, both hands buried in his hair, pressing herself against him as close as she can, soft noises stuck deep in her throat every time he rolls his hips up against her, and she pushes closer a little too enthusiastically, has a moment of vertigo as they unbalance, and then laughs into his shoulder when they land in a tangle of blankets and each other.

[nerves_of_ice]

He starts laughing as well, and twists onto his back, pulling her over to rest on top of him.

"Okay, so maybe not one of our best ideas," he manages. "Still."

[from_the_outside]

"Could be worse," she agrees, stretching out on top of him and framing his head with her forearms. She's still grinning as she leans down to kiss him again, the curls he'd twisted into her hair falling over her shoulder to brush her cheek and his.

[nerves_of_ice]

"True." He kisses her back, then reaches up to tuck her hair behind her ear.

[from_the_outside]

"Have we had good ideas?" she asks, smiling as she tips her head into his touch.

Arguably no. But there must have been one or two.

[nerves_of_ice]

"You ask that like you're expecting me to have been keeping track."

[from_the_outside]

"Good point."

She folds her arms on his chest so she can rest her chin on them and watch his face, warm and amused. "The tracker was a good idea," she says, definitive. "Maybe one of my best."

[nerves_of_ice]

He looks very amused by that observation, and tells her,

"You know I left it in my boot, right? It's still there."

[from_the_outside]

"Good," she grins.

"Keep it. Means I'll always be able to find you."

[nerves_of_ice]

Bucky laughs.

"Afraid of a challenge?"

[from_the_outside]

"Yes," she says, absolutely straight-faced. "That's me. Always taking the easy route."

[nerves_of_ice]

"Uh-huh." He brushes his fingers through her hair again, then smiles at her. "Okay. I'll leave it alone for now."

[from_the_outside]

"Good."

Not that he's likely to be out of reach anytime soon. Leaving Wakanda isn't a good idea for her, but it's damn near impossible for him.

But that's not what she wants to think about right now; she leans up to kiss him lightly instead.

"Nothing wrong with having a back-up plan," she points out, smiling back. "Or two."

[nerves_of_ice]

"At least," he agrees, and pulls the throw over her shoulder.

[from_the_outside]

She huffs a laugh and settles against him, resting her head on his chest and basking in his warmth and the slow up and down of his breath beneath her.