[ WWII AU ] what a night to go dreaming

[from_the_outside]

There's no doubt that things have shifted, a little, since the day they spent tangled up together in that sun-dappled cottage, tucked away in the trees behind the nearby town. The other Howling Commandos have, seemingly by silent agreement, stopped flirting so outrageously with her, though she's caught Jim and Gabe giving Bucky more than one fondly exasperated glance. She still dances with all of them, and enjoys their company, but they yield the floor to Bucky at the end of the night, and he's the one who, as she said she wanted, walks her back to her tent. 

And then there are their rendezvous' out in the field, where she still checks, each night, for a portal opening in the air. It never comes, but she spends hours there with him, walking and laughing and dancing under the starlight, stealing every moment they can together.

Aunt Peggy says nothing, but Sharon knows she can tell things have changed. There's a worried frown that lives between her brows, but she doesn't forbid her niece to see Steve's best friend, knowing it would only backfire.

Other things change not at all... like the morning tests Howard still makes them do. They're nearing the end of the sequence today, and she lets go of Bucky when Howard tells her to, careful not to linger. It's difficult to say what Stark thinks of his findings; he mutters to himself and snaps at his assistants, but all she can glean from it is that the resonance is still fading at a regular rate from her cells.

But none of them know why.

Comments

[nerves_of_ice]

"Yes, ma'am." The shock wave of Howard's news has finished spreading through him, and Bucky knows what's coming next. At least he'll be doing weapons maintenance shortly. That should give him time to get a handle on himself. "However I can help."

"You're supposed to be working with the squad on drills this afternoon, aren't you?" Steve puts in. There's concern in his eyes. "Maybe you should give that a pass. We'll want you in top shape for tonight. Take the time to, to prepare."

[from_the_outside]

She looks at Aunt Peggy, trying to tamp down on the desperation in her own eyes. Her aunt studies her for a long moment.

Compassionate isn't a word most people would use to describe Peggy Carter, but to her darling niece, who has made a lifetime's study of her, those people are idiots. Aunt Peggy's steady brown eyes soften, and Sharon thinks she knows what's coming even before she says it. "Under the circumstances, I don't believe it would be beneficial for you to assist with mission analysis today, Sharon," Aunt Peggy tells her, briskly. "If the experiment fails, we will simply pick back up where we left off tomorrow. I'll have your things ready for you by eighteen hundred hours."

[nerves_of_ice]

"Thank you," Bucky tells Steve. "I'll be ready. I won't let you down, Cap." He means it for so many reasons and in so many ways, more than he can say, and knows that Steve'll understand better than anyone else could.

Steve nods back to him, and turns to Peggy. "Agent Carter, I can finish up here, um, if you'd like."

[from_the_outside]

"Thank you, Captain," Aunt Peggy says, smoothly, just as if he were offering to give her a chance to run an errand. "When you're finished, please join me at Stark's lab."

Sharon's lips twitch, very slightly. She doesn't envy Howard Stark the interrogation that's about to fall on his head.

[nerves_of_ice]

"You bet I will," Steve assures her. Bucky's pretty darn certain Steve's going to have words for Howard himself. He tips his head backward, silently asking if he's still needed, and Steve's glance swings back to him.

"I'll swing by weapons on the way to lunch," Steve suggests. "Meet you there?"

"Meet you there," Bucky agrees.

[from_the_outside]

She meets Aunt Peggy's glance, then looks at Bucky, her throat working as she swallows. "Thank you for the escort, Sergeant," she tells him, keeping her voice level.

They'll have the afternoon. And some of the evening, maybe. But right now, she has to let him go.

[nerves_of_ice]

"You're welcome, Agent Carter." He makes himself brace to attention, then leaves the tent, walking by instinct and not letting himself think.

[from_the_outside]

In a moment, he's gone. The tent flap falls back behind him, and after a second even the sound of his steps has vanished.

She can't look at Steve, or even Aunt Peggy, but after a second, she feels her aunt's light hand at her back. "This way," Aunt Peggy murmurs. "Come along, darling."

She nods and steps outside with Aunt Peggy, following along as her aunt leads her towards the tent they'd shared that first night, together.

[marvel_npc]

She could just strangle Sergeant Barnes, she really could. This is - well, it's not worse than if he'd treated Sharon poorly, but it's awful in an entirely different way. Peggy recognizes that it's probably not fair to feel like that, but she can't entirely help it.

The more so because she herself is hurting, too. The only comfort she's able to draw is that she knows she'll see her niece again, from infancy all the way to adulthood. She has something to look forward to, and holds fast to that to soften the blow of the now. She can be strong for Sharon, who needs her.

She lets her niece into the tent and steps in after her, then, after a single look, silently steps forward and embraces her.

[from_the_outside]

She's been here a month or a little more, and if she were someone who knew how to put down roots, she thinks there would be a few tentative ones being torn up right now. Aunt Peggy's arms go around her in a way that's familiar and not all at the same time, and Sharon leans in, closing her eyes and clinging to her aunt, smelling the light scent of perfume and powder that's been so much a part of her life since birth.

This is war. Everyone is used to goodbyes. But that doesn't make them hurt any less.

[marvel_npc]

"Are you all right, darling?" she murmurs, holding on.

Of course not, and she knows it, but some questions have to be asked. More's said in how they're answered sometimes than in the answers themselves.

[from_the_outside]

Her darling, her sweet girl, her Sharon. All those pet names Sharon took for granted growing up, never conceiving they might have begun decades before.

This is her duty. It's her duty to return. She doesn't belong in the here and now. She should straighten, and tell Aunt Peggy she's fine, that she'll do exactly what she needs to do.

But it's Aunt Peggy. She can't lie to Aunt Peggy. "No," she admits," barely a breath. "But that won't stop me. I'll do what I have to do, Aunt Peggy."

[marvel_npc]

"I know you will." She pulls back just enough to look at her, willing Sharon to believe her, to see the faith she has in her. "I know you will, just as I know it hurts."

[from_the_outside]

"I knew it would."

She's walked into this pain with her eyes wide open, and she knows that if this experiment fails and she stays here, it will only hurt worse when she finally does return home, to when and where she's meant to be.

But knowing the bullet's coming doesn't soften the bite of it. She meets her aunt's glance and smiles, wry. "At least if it works, I won't have to miss you too much."

[marvel_npc]

Peggy smiles back at her, her gaze soft and warm. "I'll miss you for a little longer, but it'll be so lovely to watch you growing up."

She leads Sharon over to sit beside her on the bed. "It's terribly selfish of me, but I'm so glad to have had this chance to get to know you, like this."

[from_the_outside]

"It's not that selfish," Sharon promises her, coming to sit next to her aunt, keeping her hand in Peggy's. If it all works, the next time she sees Aunt Peggy, her skin will be fragile as tissue paper, and her eyes nowhere near as clear. "I've been glad for it, too."

She smiles again, crooked. "People say not to meet your heroes, but mine could never disappoint."

[marvel_npc]

"Nonsense," she scoffs, squeezing Sharon's hand, trying to ignore the thrill of being called a hero by this dear girl. "I'm sure I'm quite capable of disappointing people if warranted."

[from_the_outside]

"Only people who've underestimated you," Sharon tells her. She squeezes back, trying to memorize the feeling of her aunt's hand in hers, young and strong and smooth.

She's had weeks here of keeping her mouth shut, of not talking about the future except in the most oblique terms, but suddenly now it all comes battering at the back of her teeth. "Aunt Peggy – "

She grimaces and bites it back. "There's so much I wish I could tell you."

[marvel_npc]

"I do too, but Howard's been quite clear on the matter, hasn't he," she says, briskly. "Holes in time, explosions, all that sort of thing."

[from_the_outside]

"Pretty hypocritical for a man attempting to blow a hole in time tonight," Sharon mutters.

She won't do it, of course. As long as there's even a chance it could hurt these people she cares about so much more than helping them, she won't say a thing.

But that doesn't mean she doesn't want to.

[marvel_npc]

"Yes, well, he's very good at holding several separate ideas in mind at once and never mind any inherent contradictions," Peggy sighs.

She squeezes Sharon's hand again. "My dear girl, what can I do to make this easier? Is there anything?"

[from_the_outside]

"Oh, Aunt Peggy."

She lets go of her aunt's hand and reaches to wrap her arms around her instead, the way she used to as a child, totally unselfconscious, utterly certain that there's nothing in this world this woman cannot make right, no problem she cannot solve.

But there's no easier for this. She can't go back and keep herself from spending time with her aunt, from falling for Bucky. "If it works," she murmurs. "Be kind to him. It'll hurt him, too. Just like it'll hurt you."

[marvel_npc]

Peggy huffs a breath and hugs her tight. "I really should have shot him. I didn't want to see you be hurt. Either of you, for that matter."

She ignores the contradiction in the fact that shooting Bucky Barnes would certainly have hurt him. That's not the point.

[from_the_outside]

Sharon's laugh is just a vibration in her chest. "It's not his fault," she tells her aunt. "I'm easily as stubborn as he is."

She pulls back, that same crooked, wry smile on her face. "And I'd have been pretty mad at you if you shot him."

[marvel_npc]

Peggy searches her face carefully. "You care for him very much, don't you?"