[ WWII AU ] what a night to go dreaming

[from_the_outside]

There's no doubt that things have shifted, a little, since the day they spent tangled up together in that sun-dappled cottage, tucked away in the trees behind the nearby town. The other Howling Commandos have, seemingly by silent agreement, stopped flirting so outrageously with her, though she's caught Jim and Gabe giving Bucky more than one fondly exasperated glance. She still dances with all of them, and enjoys their company, but they yield the floor to Bucky at the end of the night, and he's the one who, as she said she wanted, walks her back to her tent. 

And then there are their rendezvous' out in the field, where she still checks, each night, for a portal opening in the air. It never comes, but she spends hours there with him, walking and laughing and dancing under the starlight, stealing every moment they can together.

Aunt Peggy says nothing, but Sharon knows she can tell things have changed. There's a worried frown that lives between her brows, but she doesn't forbid her niece to see Steve's best friend, knowing it would only backfire.

Other things change not at all... like the morning tests Howard still makes them do. They're nearing the end of the sequence today, and she lets go of Bucky when Howard tells her to, careful not to linger. It's difficult to say what Stark thinks of his findings; he mutters to himself and snaps at his assistants, but all she can glean from it is that the resonance is still fading at a regular rate from her cells.

But none of them know why.

Comments

[nerves_of_ice]

“They better.” Bucky casts a critical eye over them, then slants a rueful look at Steve. “I’ve been working on them hard enough.

He can tell from his best friend’s expression that he’s concerned, but what is there to do? Nothing. They knew this day would come, and it’d be wrong to hope it doesn’t work. Bucky lets out a quiet breath. “I know,” he says, simply.

[marvel_npc]

“I’m so sorry, Buck.”

His voice is quiet. He hasn’t felt this helpless since the night he watched Bucky walk away, before he took his last shot at being a soldier. “Are you okay?”

[nerves_of_ice]

“I’ll have to be, won’t I?” His voice is just as quiet as Steve’s. “We knew this day would come. It’s what we’ve been working toward. This isn’t her home.”

[marvel_npc]

“I know, but — “

But it’s not fair. But he hasn’t seen Bucky this head over heels in… maybe ever. But he can picture them, laughing as they dance together, the way Sharon’s eyes light up when she sees him.

He thinks about losing Peggy, and the pain is staggering. “But that doesn’t make it any easier, does it?”

[nerves_of_ice]

Then breath sighs out of him. “No. It doesn’t.”

He tries for a smile, without any idea of how rueful it looks. “At least we had this much. More than a lot of people get, right? But… “ Words fail him.

[marvel_npc]

He reaches to put a warm hand on Bucky's shoulder, wishing there were something he could do. He almost says maybe it won't work, but Bucky's been working so hard to help her get home. It wouldn't be right to suggest his best friend might want it to fail.

"But you really care about her."

[nerves_of_ice]

He leans a little into the touch, the support, almost unconsciously. “Yeah.”

Bucky looks up at his best friend. “She’s something special, Steve. She really is.”

[marvel_npc]

“I know she is, pal.”

Aside from her marvelous arrival, Sharon Carter is something else. And there’s no doubting how special she is to Bucky. He’s been worried about this since that first evening Bucky came back to his tent with lipstick on his neck.

Bucky can’t say it, but maybe Steve can, for him.

And maybe it’s colored by his own feelings and frustrations about another Agent Carter, but that doesn’t make it any less true. “It’s not fair. The way you two feel, you deserve to be together, Bucky.”

[nerves_of_ice]

It's just the two of them here, and he doesn't have to be on his guard. Not with Steve; never with Steve. The breath he draws is ragged and shaking.

"Maybe," he whispers. "But if this works - she can't stay, and I could never go. So at least - at least we had this much."

He looks up at his best friend. "You know, I even told her I thought she'd like Brooklyn."

[marvel_npc]

His heart thuds in his chest, then aches like it’s breaking, even while he tries to find a smile. “You know, I bet she would.”

He can just about picture it, the three of them — maybe, even, the four of them, but he touches that thought lightly — in Brooklyn. Playing games at Coney Island, sitting up on the rooftops to see the stars.

He hates the misery in his best friend’s voice, the way his breath is so ragged and sore. It’s hard to think them having had this much is a good thing, when all their happiness is turning to pain.

[nerves_of_ice]

"Daydreams, I know. But good ones." Bucky sighs, and sets the completed rifle back in the rack to the side before he forgets it.

"So I'll just have to - have to have good memories, instead." He tries for a smile, thinks he might have managed it. "Don't worry, Rogers. I'll get through it."

[marvel_npc]

Somehow, that attempt at a smile and his old easy good nature only hurts more to see. “Buck,” Steve says, feeling helpless.

His best friend is right, he knows. It’s not as though he has a choice. And Steve doesn’t want to hurt him further by making him say what his choice would be. “She’s lucky to have you,” is all he manages, after a minute. “No matter what happens tonight.”

[nerves_of_ice]

"Think I'm the lucky one," he points out, aiming for light. "How many guys get to dance with an angel from the future? That's not the kind of thing that happens every day."

[marvel_npc]

"I think most of the squad has, by now," Steve says, trying to match Bucky's teasing tone. He doesn't think he quite gets there, but he makes the attempt anyhow.

And it's true, even though he's heard the men call Sharon the Sergeant's angel more than once, especially in those first few days when Bucky was teasing them with the story. "But you're right. It's a pretty amazing thing."

[nerves_of_ice]

He chuckles at that, a little. "Okay, you've got a point - and that means a lucky squad, to boot."

[marvel_npc]

Steve's smile is faint, but there. "Come on," he coaxes, putting a hand back on Bucky's shoulder. "Let's get to lunch. You've got places to be this afternoon."

[nerves_of_ice]

He gets to his feet with an answering smile for his best friend. No matter what else, he'll always have Steve, just like Steve'll always have him.

"Thanks for that, by the way."

[marvel_npc]

"I wish there were more I could do," Steve admits, but they both know the situation's a bad one. It's not even likely to improve if the experiment fails and Sharon stays. He knows how much Bucky wants her to be able to get home.

All he can do is offer them a little more time, while they pretend it's enough. "I'll talk to Howard after lunch. Don't worry about any of that."

[nerves_of_ice]

"If you're sure," Bucky says, starting toward the exit. "I have a feeling Peggy's going to be right there with you, though."

[marvel_npc]

"I think you're right."

They exit the tent together and Steve nods to the private outside, who comes to attention once more. "We'll get all the information from him, Bucky. I promise, we'll make it as safe as possible."

[nerves_of_ice]

"I know you will." His absolute faith in Steve comes through in his voice, although he doesn't realize it. "And I'm ready to do whatever it takes."

[marvel_npc]

"I know you are."

Bucky will break his own heart to get Sharon back home, and he'll do it without question or hesitation, Steve knows. It's all so sad, but this is wartime. Broken hearts and sad farewells are all too common, these days.

He steers the conversation towards a few lighter topics as they near the mess tent, and is grateful to see a few of the men already inside. They take over from him, teasing him lightly for his quiet and talking animatedly among themselves about the little day-to-day dramas of the camp.

Steve eats mechanically, his smile slight when it comes, and lets the conversation mostly swirl around him until Gabe's expression brightens and he waves a hand. "Agent Carter!" he calls. "Over here!"

It's both agents Carter, Steve sees, as he looks toward the entrance. They both look calm and composed, but he can't miss the way Sharon's glance goes straight to Bucky and holds.

Steve stands as the women come over, his own eyes fixed on Peggy, quietly concerned. "Ma'am."

[nerves_of_ice]

"Captain Rogers," Peggy greets him. Bucky can't read her as well as Steve can, or as easily as he's learning to read Sharon, but he thinks there's a flicker of worry there to match Steve's own, along with what he suspects is closely-held sorrow.

"Will you join us?" he asks, the words meant for both of them even though he's having a hard time looking away from Sharon. "There's plenty of room."

[from_the_outside]

"For a little while," Aunt Peggy tells him, and ushers Sharon forward as she continues. "I came to collect Captain Rogers, but it can wait until after we've all eaten."

There's a seat by Bucky, and she sinks into it, letting her knee brush his beneath the table as she sets her tray down. Sharon glances over her shoulder at him, smiling the crooked smile that's the best she can manage today.

[nerves_of_ice]

He smiles back at her, and lets his knee press against hers in silent reassurance. "Yes, ma'am," he tells Peggy. "As I said to Cap earlier, I'm ready to help with whatever he - and you - find out."

"What's this?" Dugan wants to know, and Bucky manages to grin at him. "Howard's got another project in mind," he explains. "Means you and Jim are on point for the drill this afternoon."