[ WWII AU ] what a night to go dreaming

[from_the_outside]

There's no doubt that things have shifted, a little, since the day they spent tangled up together in that sun-dappled cottage, tucked away in the trees behind the nearby town. The other Howling Commandos have, seemingly by silent agreement, stopped flirting so outrageously with her, though she's caught Jim and Gabe giving Bucky more than one fondly exasperated glance. She still dances with all of them, and enjoys their company, but they yield the floor to Bucky at the end of the night, and he's the one who, as she said she wanted, walks her back to her tent. 

And then there are their rendezvous' out in the field, where she still checks, each night, for a portal opening in the air. It never comes, but she spends hours there with him, walking and laughing and dancing under the starlight, stealing every moment they can together.

Aunt Peggy says nothing, but Sharon knows she can tell things have changed. There's a worried frown that lives between her brows, but she doesn't forbid her niece to see Steve's best friend, knowing it would only backfire.

Other things change not at all... like the morning tests Howard still makes them do. They're nearing the end of the sequence today, and she lets go of Bucky when Howard tells her to, careful not to linger. It's difficult to say what Stark thinks of his findings; he mutters to himself and snaps at his assistants, but all she can glean from it is that the resonance is still fading at a regular rate from her cells.

But none of them know why.

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[from_the_outside]

What she really wants is to bring him into her tent and tie the flap closed, but she knows he's not willing to do anything that might negatively impact her reputation.

Which she may actually have to start considering, herself, since she's here for the foreseeable future. What's happening, back home? How could Selvig not have figured out how to bring her back yet?

So she nods and shifts a little closer to him. "Okay."

[nerves_of_ice]

He offers her his arm, perfectly proper, and draws her near as he leads her on the path that circles the camp, heading for the far side of it.

“Have you ever been to London?” he asks, after wracking his brain for something to say.

[from_the_outside]

"Yes," she tells him, with a small smile as she tucks her arm into his. "A few times."

Visiting Aunt Peggy, or visiting with Aunt Peggy, for the most part. She glances over at him. "Have you been there? To the SSR headquarters?"

[nerves_of_ice]

He nods. “It’s underground, mostly, but it’s nice,” he reassures her. “Plenty of room. Safe. Even a direct hit won’t hurt it.”

[from_the_outside]

"One more thing I never thought I'd see," she says, a little wry, and glances at him.

"How long are you usually back there for?"

[nerves_of_ice]

“Depends,” he says. “Sometimes we’re deployed like this, when there are several missions planned in an area. Sometimes we deploy from there, and then we’re at base longer.”

[from_the_outside]

She nods and keeps her arm in his as they stroll towards the outskirts of camp. This late, there aren't many soldiers or staff wandering around, and she's grateful for it.

"I guess we'll see."

[nerves_of_ice]

“Mm-hm.” He glances over at her. “Howard’s lab there’s pretty big,” he murmurs. “He’s got a lot more equipment. It’ll be okay, Sharon.”

[from_the_outside]

"It will be," she agrees, just as quiet. She's spent so long keeping her hopes up, believing Nick and Selvig would come through, or that Howard would. But if Howard Stark can't find a way to bring her back, who could?

Maybe she should leave a message in a bottle for Tony to find – not that he'd have any idea who she is.

As they step past the camp boundaries, she leans her head against his shoulder, tired down to her bones after weeks of keeping her head up and her thoughts optimistic. "One way or another."

[nerves_of_ice]

“That’s right.” He slips his arm around her back, keeping her close to his side and supporting her as they walk. This side of camp’s more open than the other, but there are a few places that are a little more sheltered.

“You’re not alone, baby.”

[from_the_outside]

"It's been a month, Bucky."

She murmurs it as she puts her arm around his back and tucks herself up close to his side. "It was bad enough saying all my goodbyes today. How much more will it hurt if I'm here for another month? Or two?"

Her voice is quiet, but every word is clear as she speaks them to him, like a confession. "And every day there's less resonance to work with. Even if they're still looking, back home, they might not be able to find me soon."

[nerves_of_ice]

“I can’t imagine they wouldn’t still be looking,” he murmurs. “If I lost Steve like that, I’d never stop, you know?”

He tightens his arm around her, spreading his fingers along her side. “And don’t worry about the resonance. It’s been longer than a month for me, and I’ve still got it. You have time.”

But it’s the other thing that he doesn’t have an answer for, and he knows it, and suspects she does too.

[from_the_outside]

"I don't have anyone like you and Steve have each other," she murmurs. "Someone who'd never stop looking."

Fury's a good boss, but he's not sentimental. She has to consider the possibility that he's decided to just stop, that it's a waste of resources trying to find her "Maybe they decided to cut their losses. Or maybe something happened to the lab the night the cube sent me back here."

The damn thing might have exploded, or sent everyone else to various points in history.

[nerves_of_ice]

“You could drive yourself crazy wondering,” he murmurs. “We’ll keep trying from this end. That much we can do something about.”

He turns his head to press a gentle kiss to her hair; they’re alone, there’s nobody to see. “In the meantime… you’ve got us. You’ve got me.”

[from_the_outside]

She smiles, slight, and closes her eyes as his mouth presses against her hair. "Who could ask for anything more?"

Her arm tightens around him. "I can't pretend I'm sad not to have to leave you behind."

[nerves_of_ice]

He glances around, then slows to a stop and turns toward her, taking her in his arms. “I’m sorry it didn’t work, but I’m glad you’re here with me now.”

[from_the_outside]

Sharon puts her arms around his neck, following his glance around. There's no one here, and she lets herself melt against him, tired and sore and frustrated, feeling guilty for how happy she is to still have him in her arms. "I know," she murmurs, and tips her face up to him.

"Kiss me, soldier boy. Looks like you get me for a little while longer."

[nerves_of_ice]

“Yes, ma’am,” he teases, and bends his head to do just that. It’s a lingering, deep kiss, slow and sweet.

[from_the_outside]

She makes a soft sound against his mouth and lets herself drown in him, in his taste and scent and the way his body feels pressed against hers.

"I'm feeling a lot of things right now," she murmurs, when it breaks. "I can hardly make sense of it all. But one thing I know for sure is that I'm glad I don't have to miss you yet, sweetheart."

[nerves_of_ice]

Bucky curves one hand around the back of her neck and gives her a small, rueful smile.

“It’s selfish of me to be as glad about that as I am, I know. But darling, I’ll keep you as long as I can and be grateful for it.”

[from_the_outside]

"Be selfish," she murmurs, and leans up to kiss him gently.

"It makes me feel a little better."

[nerves_of_ice]

"You sure? Because I can be very selfish," he teases, as he tightens his arm around her waist and brushes the side of his thumb along the line of her pulse.

[from_the_outside]

"So can I," she promises.

Beneath his thumb, her pulse picks up, blood racing like a river. "I'm so selfish that I want to stay with you, even though I know it's going to hurt like hell later on. I don't want to hurt you, baby, but I don't want to let you go, either."

[nerves_of_ice]

"I don't want you to be hurt," he murmurs. Bucky leans down and follows the path his thumb is tracing with gentle, lingering kisses along her skin.

"But don't worry about me. Stay. As long as you're here, as long as you can, as long as you want-- stay with me."

[from_the_outside]

"I will," she murmurs back, tipping her head to give him access to her throat, her eyes closing.

It's such a bad idea. It's such a bad idea. But it's not like she has so very many good ones, ever. "As long as I can, Bucky. I'll stay with you."