[ WWII AU ] what a night to go dreaming

[from_the_outside]

There's no doubt that things have shifted, a little, since the day they spent tangled up together in that sun-dappled cottage, tucked away in the trees behind the nearby town. The other Howling Commandos have, seemingly by silent agreement, stopped flirting so outrageously with her, though she's caught Jim and Gabe giving Bucky more than one fondly exasperated glance. She still dances with all of them, and enjoys their company, but they yield the floor to Bucky at the end of the night, and he's the one who, as she said she wanted, walks her back to her tent. 

And then there are their rendezvous' out in the field, where she still checks, each night, for a portal opening in the air. It never comes, but she spends hours there with him, walking and laughing and dancing under the starlight, stealing every moment they can together.

Aunt Peggy says nothing, but Sharon knows she can tell things have changed. There's a worried frown that lives between her brows, but she doesn't forbid her niece to see Steve's best friend, knowing it would only backfire.

Other things change not at all... like the morning tests Howard still makes them do. They're nearing the end of the sequence today, and she lets go of Bucky when Howard tells her to, careful not to linger. It's difficult to say what Stark thinks of his findings; he mutters to himself and snaps at his assistants, but all she can glean from it is that the resonance is still fading at a regular rate from her cells.

But none of them know why.

Comments

[nerves_of_ice]

"This way, Agent Carter," he murmurs, perfectly polite. He hasn't done anything that would let anyone in camp think anything improper of her, and he intends to keep that up, no matter how much he wants to ignore anyone around them right now.

At least it's not far to the field where she'd appeared from nothing. He could make the walk in his sleep by now.

[from_the_outside]

She doesn't relax as the camp fades away around them, replaced by trees and the path to the field, but something shifts in the way she holds herself between the moment they're still in view of the camp and the one when they step into the shade and are alone.

In the next second, she's lacing her fingers with his, her voice quiet. "I'm sorry," she murmurs.

[nerves_of_ice]

He wraps his other arm around her, drawing her close. "Don't be," he whispers back. "I understand, angel. I do."

[from_the_outside]

"I know you do," she promises. Her free arm goes tight around his middle and she presses herself against him. "But I'm sorry anyway. I don't want you to be hurt."

[nerves_of_ice]

"I don't want you to be hurt, either," he points out. Bucky lowers his face to the golden cloud of her hair and just breathes. "I know you miss your home. The rest of your family. And I know you need to get back to your team, too."

They'll be searching for her still, he's sure, probably going out of their minds with worry. How can he hope that their pain continue?

[from_the_outside]

She closes her eyes and nods. He's right, of course. And she'd be lying if, beneath the ache, she weren't feeling a buzz of excitement, of hope. She's tried to quash it as much as possible over the weeks that she's been here, but knowing that it might be within her grasp to get home has every nerve abuzz, her stomach tying itself in knots.

She wants to go home. But she doesn't want to lose him. "It'll be all right," she tells him, trying to believe it herself. "Whatever happens."

[nerves_of_ice]

"It will." He puts as much certainty as he can manage into his voice. Bucky squeezes her hand, then lets go and curves his fingers around the nape of her neck and tries to coax her to tilt her head and look up at him, even as he tightens his embrace with his other arm.

"It'll be all right, Sharon. It will. And I don't regret this, between us. Not even a little. I can't."

[from_the_outside]

She looks up at him, her now free hand going to his side. "I don't, either," she says, fiercely stubborn. "I've loved every second I got with you."

And she wants more, but she's always wanted more. So does everyone. How many people get even a fraction of what they've been given?

[nerves_of_ice]

"Every second," he whispers, and kisses her - gently, careful not to muss her lipstick. "Every single one. Each moment. Every dance."

He punctuates everything he says with light kisses, then looks down into her eyes.

"All of it. All of you."

[from_the_outside]

She nods, her heart in her throat, and reaches up to smooth the wave of his hair, her fingers light against his cheek.

There's still some time. They don't have to say goodbye yet. And this is a last-ditch experiment, the chances that it will work have to be slim in the extreme.

But she wants him to be certain, anyway. "All of you," she murmurs back, and lifts up to press her lips almost chastely to his. "You're everything I've ever wanted and more, sweetheart."

[nerves_of_ice]

"Angel." His smile is almost heartbreakingly sweet, and he squeezes her to him for a second. "You say the nicest things."

[from_the_outside]

"You deserve every one of them."

She smiles at him, crooked. "Walk with me?"

[nerves_of_ice]

"Anywhere you want," he tells her, and shifts to give her his arm and draw her against his side.

[from_the_outside]

Her smiles turns wry – if only that were possible – but she tucks her arm in his and presses against his side like she has so many times. "Let's go to that little hill," she coaxes. "Where we were star-gazing my first night here."

[nerves_of_ice]

"Okay." He leads her along the side of the field toward the woods path.

"Maybe sometimes once you're back, you can look at the stars and remember me, if you want." He gives her a little smile. "The stars aren't going to change between then and now, right? So it'll be like we're looking at them together."

[from_the_outside]

She huffs a breath that catches her in chest, like a sob. "I will," she promises, and looks back up at him, her own smile sad but warm.

"Don't you forget me either, soldier boy."

[nerves_of_ice]

"I never could," he promises. "You've changed my life, angel. And I'm glad of it."

[from_the_outside]

"Me, too."

They stroll along the path they'd taken that first night she was here, when she'd teased him about it being a date. Over there is where they paused walking back to the camp and kissed for the first time; up ahead is the stretch of meadow where they'd danced and everything had shifted around them. She'll come back here, she decides. When she makes it home. She'll come back and find this place where they'd spent so much time together. And maybe it'll feel like he's just a few steps behind her on the path, like any moment she'll see him come walking through the dark.

[nerves_of_ice]

Bucky can't decide if he's grateful or sorry that they'll be packing up to head back to London soon. If Howard's experiment tonight works, being here at camp without her will be like being haunted, he's pretty sure - but at the same time, leaving this place will be like leaving her behind, just as she'll leave him to return to her time, her life. Either way, it's not anything he can control. She can't either, not really.

For now, he watches the play of sunlight through the trees against the gold of her hair, and holds on to this moment with both hands.

[from_the_outside]

In the daylight, the little hill and the meadow beyond it look real and solid, far from the dream she remembers. She strolls with him up the gentle incline, then lets go of his arm when they reach the top.

Settling herself down in the grass, she pats the spot next to her and smiles at him, much as she had that first night, when he decided to trust her. "Take a load off, Sergeant."

[nerves_of_ice]

He chuckles at that. "Yes, ma'am." Bucky sits easily down beside her, legs outstretched as he leans back on his elbows.

"It's nice here, isn't it?"

[from_the_outside]

"It really is."

She studies him, the way the sunshine kisses his skin, the long lean line of his body, and smiles.

This time, there's the glint of mischief in it. "I brought a little treat for you."

[nerves_of_ice]

Surprise is written in his features as he looks over at her.

"You did?" She looks as though she's anticipating something, and he's curious as hell. "What is it?"

[from_the_outside]

She reaches into the pocket of her skirt and liberates the familiar rectangle of her phone. God bless Stark tech, the thing had still turned on when she tried it earlier. He really had cracked long-lasting, sustainable energy.

"The rest of my things are back in my tent," she tells him, thumbing the phone into life. "But I did promise to show you some photos."

[nerves_of_ice]

He sits straight up, utterly fascinated, and leans over to look at the device in her hand.

"That's the smallest darn camera I've ever seen or heard of, by the way," he tells her.