[ WWII AU ] what a night to go dreaming

[from_the_outside]

There's no doubt that things have shifted, a little, since the day they spent tangled up together in that sun-dappled cottage, tucked away in the trees behind the nearby town. The other Howling Commandos have, seemingly by silent agreement, stopped flirting so outrageously with her, though she's caught Jim and Gabe giving Bucky more than one fondly exasperated glance. She still dances with all of them, and enjoys their company, but they yield the floor to Bucky at the end of the night, and he's the one who, as she said she wanted, walks her back to her tent. 

And then there are their rendezvous' out in the field, where she still checks, each night, for a portal opening in the air. It never comes, but she spends hours there with him, walking and laughing and dancing under the starlight, stealing every moment they can together.

Aunt Peggy says nothing, but Sharon knows she can tell things have changed. There's a worried frown that lives between her brows, but she doesn't forbid her niece to see Steve's best friend, knowing it would only backfire.

Other things change not at all... like the morning tests Howard still makes them do. They're nearing the end of the sequence today, and she lets go of Bucky when Howard tells her to, careful not to linger. It's difficult to say what Stark thinks of his findings; he mutters to himself and snaps at his assistants, but all she can glean from it is that the resonance is still fading at a regular rate from her cells.

But none of them know why.

Comments

[marvel_npc]

“Good. He should be.” But Peggy softens a little at the way she looks.

“As long as you’re happy, darling.”

[from_the_outside]

"I am."

Even with this pain. "It hurts, but I'm glad we took the chance. I wouldn't give up this time with him for anything."

She takes her aunt's hand once more with a smile. "Just like I wouldn't give up this time with you."

[marvel_npc]

She holds on to Sharon’s hand. “Neither would I.” Peggy blinks rapidly, refusing to let the suspicious moisture in her eyes build further.

“Well, we’ll just have to make the most of the rest of the time we have today, hm?”

[from_the_outside]

"I think that's a good idea," Sharon tells her. Her own eyes are suspiciously glossy, but she smiles, blinking. "How about we scare up a cup of tea?"

[marvel_npc]

“I think that sounds like a perfectly lovely idea.”

Peggy smiles at her, then gets up and goes to her things to seek out her stash of tea.

[from_the_outside]

Sharon stays where she is for a moment, looking around this tent that's become so familiar. Her aunt's watch sits by the cot, and she tracks the second hand as it ticks steadily around the face, reminding her with each tiny motion that her time here is limited.

Breathing deep, she gets up to help her aunt make the tea, pushing everything else from her mind.

For the time being, she still has now.

[nerves_of_ice]

* * * * *

Working on weapons maintenance is as calming as he’d hoped. It gives him something to do, anyway, and something that requires enough attention that he can’t let his thoughts drift completely.

Just enough.

Bucky throws himself into the work, losing track of time, and tries not to let himself think.

[marvel_npc]

No matter what crisis presents itself here, the camp still needs to run. He finishes up in the command tent alone, then reports to Colonel Philips before he heads out. By silent agreement, he gives Peggy space to be with Sharon, and turns his steps towards the armory instead, his chest aching and his thoughts awhirl.

The soldier at the entrance comes to attention as he approaches and Steve nods to him, glances inside to where he can see Bucky at work. "Give us a few moments, Private," he asks, and the young man nods, saluting smartly before moving a discreet distance away. Steve waits a moment, then enters, ducking beneath the tent flap. "Buck?"

[nerves_of_ice]

He looks up from the rifle he’s cleaning. “Steve. Hey. Is it lunchtime already?”

[marvel_npc]

“Almost.”

He comes to take a seat by his best friend. His head is full of the late nights Bucky stayed up to keep an eye on him, the sacrifices Bucky had made to make sure he had medicine, all the ways Bucky’s taken care of him over the years.

He wishes he could take this hit for his friend in return. He casts about, not sure what to say, and glances over the weapons on the table. “They all look good.”

[nerves_of_ice]

“They better.” Bucky casts a critical eye over them, then slants a rueful look at Steve. “I’ve been working on them hard enough.

He can tell from his best friend’s expression that he’s concerned, but what is there to do? Nothing. They knew this day would come, and it’d be wrong to hope it doesn’t work. Bucky lets out a quiet breath. “I know,” he says, simply.

[marvel_npc]

“I’m so sorry, Buck.”

His voice is quiet. He hasn’t felt this helpless since the night he watched Bucky walk away, before he took his last shot at being a soldier. “Are you okay?”

[nerves_of_ice]

“I’ll have to be, won’t I?” His voice is just as quiet as Steve’s. “We knew this day would come. It’s what we’ve been working toward. This isn’t her home.”

[marvel_npc]

“I know, but — “

But it’s not fair. But he hasn’t seen Bucky this head over heels in… maybe ever. But he can picture them, laughing as they dance together, the way Sharon’s eyes light up when she sees him.

He thinks about losing Peggy, and the pain is staggering. “But that doesn’t make it any easier, does it?”

[nerves_of_ice]

Then breath sighs out of him. “No. It doesn’t.”

He tries for a smile, without any idea of how rueful it looks. “At least we had this much. More than a lot of people get, right? But… “ Words fail him.

[marvel_npc]

He reaches to put a warm hand on Bucky's shoulder, wishing there were something he could do. He almost says maybe it won't work, but Bucky's been working so hard to help her get home. It wouldn't be right to suggest his best friend might want it to fail.

"But you really care about her."

[nerves_of_ice]

He leans a little into the touch, the support, almost unconsciously. “Yeah.”

Bucky looks up at his best friend. “She’s something special, Steve. She really is.”

[marvel_npc]

“I know she is, pal.”

Aside from her marvelous arrival, Sharon Carter is something else. And there’s no doubting how special she is to Bucky. He’s been worried about this since that first evening Bucky came back to his tent with lipstick on his neck.

Bucky can’t say it, but maybe Steve can, for him.

And maybe it’s colored by his own feelings and frustrations about another Agent Carter, but that doesn’t make it any less true. “It’s not fair. The way you two feel, you deserve to be together, Bucky.”

[nerves_of_ice]

It's just the two of them here, and he doesn't have to be on his guard. Not with Steve; never with Steve. The breath he draws is ragged and shaking.

"Maybe," he whispers. "But if this works - she can't stay, and I could never go. So at least - at least we had this much."

He looks up at his best friend. "You know, I even told her I thought she'd like Brooklyn."

[marvel_npc]

His heart thuds in his chest, then aches like it’s breaking, even while he tries to find a smile. “You know, I bet she would.”

He can just about picture it, the three of them — maybe, even, the four of them, but he touches that thought lightly — in Brooklyn. Playing games at Coney Island, sitting up on the rooftops to see the stars.

He hates the misery in his best friend’s voice, the way his breath is so ragged and sore. It’s hard to think them having had this much is a good thing, when all their happiness is turning to pain.

[nerves_of_ice]

"Daydreams, I know. But good ones." Bucky sighs, and sets the completed rifle back in the rack to the side before he forgets it.

"So I'll just have to - have to have good memories, instead." He tries for a smile, thinks he might have managed it. "Don't worry, Rogers. I'll get through it."

[marvel_npc]

Somehow, that attempt at a smile and his old easy good nature only hurts more to see. “Buck,” Steve says, feeling helpless.

His best friend is right, he knows. It’s not as though he has a choice. And Steve doesn’t want to hurt him further by making him say what his choice would be. “She’s lucky to have you,” is all he manages, after a minute. “No matter what happens tonight.”

[nerves_of_ice]

"Think I'm the lucky one," he points out, aiming for light. "How many guys get to dance with an angel from the future? That's not the kind of thing that happens every day."

[marvel_npc]

"I think most of the squad has, by now," Steve says, trying to match Bucky's teasing tone. He doesn't think he quite gets there, but he makes the attempt anyhow.

And it's true, even though he's heard the men call Sharon the Sergeant's angel more than once, especially in those first few days when Bucky was teasing them with the story. "But you're right. It's a pretty amazing thing."

[nerves_of_ice]

He chuckles at that, a little. "Okay, you've got a point - and that means a lucky squad, to boot."