[AU] these are not the parts and poems of the body only, but of the soul

[from_the_outside]

They've all entered a kind of tense détente after the ill-advised dinner party. Tony throws himself into work, Sharon and Pepper mostly avoid each other, and Steve, Vision, and Nat continue with oversight duties.

And the thing is... Tony's working it out. 

Not a removal, exactly, but he's getting close, he'd told them, to at least blocking the commands. It's not perfect and it's not a permanent solution, but it's a step in the right direction. It's also a step in the direction of Tony needing to test the words on Bucky himself, and so Sharon and Steve are on extra high alert, keeping an eye out for any indication that Bucky's retreating into himself again. Sharon's mostly moved into the room they share in Steve's apartment for that very reason, though she still isn't wholly comfortable with being in Steve's space all the time.

He's away today, working with Sam and Rhodey on a veteran's outreach program, so it's Sharon who walks with Bucky through the halls of the compound towards Tony's rooms. "It's you and Vision with Tony today," she tells him, and glances across the distance they're careful to maintain when not alone behind closed doors.

"How are you feeling about everything?"

Comments

[from_the_outside]

"It is?"

He's never this happy after a session with Tony. She curls her fingers around his and has to smile at his smile even through her confusion. "Why is it great?"

[nerves_of_ice]

“He figured out the block,” Bucky tells her. “It worked. It works.”

His smile’s as bright as sunlight, and there’s quiet, desperate relief in the depth of his gaze.

[from_the_outside]

"He what?" She knew he'd been close, but not that he'd been close enough to try implementing it. "He tried it? You – you tested it?"

They must have, for Bucky to be this certain, and the chill of realizing Tony Stark must have tried the words again wrestles for dominance with the confused beginnings of delight trying to bloom in her chest. "You're sure?"

[nerves_of_ice]

He nods, still smiling, and takes a step closer.

“Vision helped monitor and double-checked the data,” he tells her. “Both while Tony was putting it in, and after - and during the test, too. Full test. No question. It’s not perfect - it felt like a dam with something behind it, Tony says he’s going to keep working on it — but it worked. It works.”

[from_the_outside]

"Oh my god, baby – "

He looks so happy and relieved that she can't even be mad Tony or Vision hadn't thought to let her know what Tony was planning. Taking the few quick steps, she lets go of his hand and puts her arms around his neck, hugging him close. "Baby, that's amazing, it's incredible! My god, I can't believe it."

[nerves_of_ice]

He puts both arms around her and lifts her up as he hugs her, spinning around with her in a circle.

“It’s been so long,” he murmurs. “But now… no one can make me, they can’t—“

[from_the_outside]

"No," she promises. "They can't."

Not perfect, he'd said, and she's sure there's more to do. The block was only the first step, a stopgap to give them time to figure out how to remove the command program entirely, but if it's working –

She finds that she's laughing as he spins her around, her cheek pressed against his, and when he sets her down she pulls back enough to cradle his face in her hands, studying him with bright eyes. "How do you feel? Okay?"

[nerves_of_ice]

"Pretty okay," he promises, staying still while she holds him and looks and him, her eyes bright and shining. "It felt weird while it was happening. All prickly inside my skull. But I feel fine now."

Carefully, he brings up his own right hand and brushes her hair back from her face, tucking a lock of it behind her ear. His fingers are trembling.

"It worked," he whispers. "I'll never hurt you again, baby. Never."

[from_the_outside]

Those words and the way his hand trembles as he touches her break her heart into about a million pieces, each one aching for him and everything he's been through.

"You won't," she says, with fierce belief, and lifts her hand to catch his, turning her head so she can press kiss after kiss to his fingers. "Nobody can make you do anything like that, ever again."

[nerves_of_ice]

A shudder ripples over him, and he slips his left arm around her waist, pulling her closer.

"Never again," he repeats, softly, then looks down at her. "You're safe with me now."

[from_the_outside]

"I've always been safe with you," she says, with fierce loyalty and perfect belief. She runs her fingers through his hair and leans up to kiss him, deep and sweet.

[nerves_of_ice]

He knows it's not true, and also knows she draws the distinction between Bucky Barnes and the Winter Soldier more clearly than he himself can do. He doesn't try to argue, but makes a soft sound low in his throat as he returns her kiss, holding her close.

[from_the_outside]

She kisses him again and smiles when it breaks, delight shining out of her whole face. "Well, this turned into a special day," she says, and laughs. "Poor Steve. What a day to be away."

Sharon beams up at him, running her thumbs over his temples. "We should celebrate. What do you feel like doing?"

[nerves_of_ice]

"I'll tell him tonight," he promises. "What he's doing with Sam and Rhodey - it's too important to interrupt."

His answering smile is a little rueful. "I don't know. I wasn't expecting this." Bucky hesitates for a second, then asks, "Do you still have time to go out somewhere for a while?"

[from_the_outside]

"Definitely."

Her report to Ross can wait until later. "Want to get out of here for a bit?"

[nerves_of_ice]

Bucky smiles. It's answer enough.

[from_the_outside]

"Okay," she laughs, and steps away to grab her tote bag. "Let's go."

Between Nat and Steve – and Tony's guilt – they've pretty much had their picks of the cars down in the garage. Today, Sharon selects the keys to a speedy-looking convertible and tosses them to him, grinning. "It's a beautiful day. Let's take advantage."

[nerves_of_ice]

He catches them with ease and tosses them back, looking innocent. "Isn't it your turn to drive?"

[from_the_outside]

Sharon laughs and shakes her head, but doesn't argue. She just heads to the convertible and gets in to start the engine and put the top down.

"Let's get out of here," she say, and sends the sporty little car zooming out of the garage and into the brilliant late spring day.

[nerves_of_ice]

He makes sure her tote bag is tucked safely in the well of the passenger seat, and turns a little in the seat to watch her as she drives. Her golden hair shines in the sunlight, blown by the wind of the car's passing.

[from_the_outside]

Sharon slips on a pair of sunglasses and turns on the car radio, then settles back to see what the little car can do. Like all the others in the Avenger garage, it's perfectly tuned and leaps forward eagerly beneath her hands as the wind whips around them.

She laughs and accelerates, pushing the convertible as fast as is probably safe on these empty back roads. It feels like freedom.

[nerves_of_ice]

He leans back in his seat and tips his face up to the sky, taking simple pleasure in the feel of the sun and the air, breathing deep and unfettered for the first time in a while.

"If you get a ticket I'll pay it," he teases. "Go as fast as you can."

[from_the_outside]

Sharon laughs, bright as the sun shining down all around them.

"You got it, baby," she says, and puts her foot down on the accelerator. The little convertible springs forward like a racehorse. "Hold onto your hat."

[nerves_of_ice]

He puts his left hand on top of his head, pretending, and gives her a wide-eyed, laughing look.

[from_the_outside]

Sharon laughs again. He's happy and relaxed and delighted and teasing, and her heart lifts like it's full of helium to see it.

"Cute," she says, amused. "Very cute."