[AU] these are not the parts and poems of the body only, but of the soul

[from_the_outside]

They've all entered a kind of tense détente after the ill-advised dinner party. Tony throws himself into work, Sharon and Pepper mostly avoid each other, and Steve, Vision, and Nat continue with oversight duties.

And the thing is... Tony's working it out. 

Not a removal, exactly, but he's getting close, he'd told them, to at least blocking the commands. It's not perfect and it's not a permanent solution, but it's a step in the right direction. It's also a step in the direction of Tony needing to test the words on Bucky himself, and so Sharon and Steve are on extra high alert, keeping an eye out for any indication that Bucky's retreating into himself again. Sharon's mostly moved into the room they share in Steve's apartment for that very reason, though she still isn't wholly comfortable with being in Steve's space all the time.

He's away today, working with Sam and Rhodey on a veteran's outreach program, so it's Sharon who walks with Bucky through the halls of the compound towards Tony's rooms. "It's you and Vision with Tony today," she tells him, and glances across the distance they're careful to maintain when not alone behind closed doors.

"How are you feeling about everything?"

Comments

[nerves_of_ice]

"It's not that I don't like it here," Bucky thinks to add. After all, he's a pretty large imposition on the Avengers, no matter how close a friend he is to Steve. "Or anything like that. It's just ... nice to get out, sometimes."

He's talking as he tries to place the next block, not paying enough attention to what he's doing, and whacks it right into the edge of the tower instead of placing it on top of it. Bucky swears in Russian under his breath as he watches it sway back and forth, holding the block in his fingers and waiting to see if the whole thing will settle or collapse.

[from_the_outside]

Wanda quickly lifts her hands to stabilize the tower as it sways, catching the whole thing in a net of glowing red power.

"Interesting strategy," Sharon says, amused, and Wanda blushes, a little. "We only just started," she argues, and carefully withdraws her power, leaving the tower standing.

[nerves_of_ice]

Bucky's smile is quick and bright and somehow delighted. He sets the block neatly on top of the tower.

"Thanks for the assist," he tells her.

[from_the_outside]

She shrugs, but looks pleased. "These games are supposed to be for team-building, aren't they?"

"That's what I hear," Sharon says, and takes her own turn, keeping a leery eye on the tower's top as it sways.

[nerves_of_ice]

"From my understanding, they can be for many things," Vision observes, and places his own next block with deliberate care. "But it is enjoyable all the same."

"Which counts for a lot in itself," Bucky murmurs.

[from_the_outside]

"Definitely," Sharon agrees. "Actually, why don't we switch things up, a little, just for fun?"

Wanda gives her a cautious glance. "How?"

Sharon gestures to the tower. "What if we tried to build the most rickety tower possible that you can still hold up? And then when you let it go..."

She mimes an explosion with her hands. "Just for fun."

[nerves_of_ice]

Wanda blinks at her. "But I can hold a lot more than this," she says. "It's not heavy."

"That means we can build a really weird-looking tower," Bucky points out. "Just to see how ridiculous it can be, outside normal physics."

[from_the_outside]

"Just a thought," Sharon says. "It might be kind of fun to build a tower that goes horizontal instead of up."

"Why not?" says Vision, who always seems game to show off Wanda's capabilities. "Shall we give it a try?"

[nerves_of_ice]

"...okay," Wanda says, after trading a look with Vision. The ends of her hair begin to stir in a ghostly wind, and a halo of ruby light forms around the tower. "Go ahead."

Bucky grins at her, and places a block that juts out into space with only its end resting on the tower.

[from_the_outside]

Vision looks pleased, and places a block on top of Bucky's, leaning at a precarious angle.

"Nice," Sharon says, and takes a block from the very base of the tower, then rests it on it's edge rather than any of the flat sides.

[nerves_of_ice]

He can't help it. Bucky laughs at that, quick and clear, before balancing his next block on the edge of the one Sharon placed, like a seesaw on its fulcrum.

[from_the_outside]

Sharon's mouth twitches, until she sees the faint frown on Wanda's face. "What's up?" she asks. "This can't possibly be hard for you yet."

"No, it's not that." Wanda glances between her and Bucky and shakes her head. "I'm just... surprised that you're so friendly with each other."

Sharon opens her mouth, closes it, and glances at Bucky. "Well, we spend a lot of time together," she hedges. "So we've gotten to know each other. Personally, not just professionally."

[nerves_of_ice]

Compromised, an inner voice whispers. He smashes it flat with desperate strength of will, and nods agreement. Remembering the conversation at Tony and Pepper's dinner, he says,

"That's true. And Agent Carter knew Steve a little before, from when she was still with SHIELD. It helps."

[from_the_outside]

"Really?" Vision says, curious as he glances at Sharon.

"Really," Sharon confirms. "Although mostly he knew me as my undercover identity instead of as myself. I was his assigned protective detail, so we actually lived next to each other for a while in DC."

[nerves_of_ice]

He still needs to talk to Steve about that, somehow, but that's for later. Bucky's silent for a second, considering, then says, quietly,

"Also, Agent Carter went to bat for me with the Task Force, after I... after the Winter Soldier was activated here." He's careful to keep his tone casual and matter of fact, keeps the way he's holding himself relaxed. "She believed in me before I could believe in myself. It's hard not to trust someone after something like that."

[from_the_outside]

"Even though you used to be a HYDRA agent?" Wanda asks, her voice very quiet.

Sharon's glad when Vision takes his turn, so she can study the tower they're building and not look at Bucky or Wanda. "Especially because of that," she says, considering her block and pretending to concentrate on the best spot to put it. "I didn't join the Task Force to police and punish people. I joined it because our purview is protection."

[nerves_of_ice]

"To be a shield," Bucky murmurs, but nods to Wanda. "Even then," he confirms.

[from_the_outside]

"HYDRA used and manipulated a lot of people," Sharon points out, and delicately balances her block off of the one Bucky had placed, the tower now beginning to resemble a crooked tree branch. "It's not exactly a black and white situation for the ones that got out, is it?"

She's intently aware of Wanda's own background, that she chose to allow HYDRA's experiments... but that choice came from a place of pain and desperation, not evil.

[nerves_of_ice]

He can see the concern flickering in Vision's glance, but the other man holds his silence, outwardly considering the placement of his next block. Remembering the worry he'd expressed before, Bucky decides that Vision must think that this conversation's worthwhile; that it'll help somehow.

"Not everyone in power in the organization was as obvious about HYDRA's true goals as Johann Schmidt or Arnim Zola," he says, and draws a slow, careful breath. This time he doesn't look at Sharon.

"In D.C., Alexander Pierce told me my work had been a gift to mankind. That it'd - that I'd shaped the century. That what we were doing would bring freedom to the world. He was very convincing. I know he wasn't the only one who was."

[from_the_outside]

"He fooled a lot of people," Sharon says, a little grimly, thinking of the meeting in Pierce's office the morning after Nick was shot and her cover blown. "And it's hard to argue against charisma and belief like that."

It was easier when HYDRA was obviously the bad guys, when their aims were bigotry and violence. Harder to point out their flaws when they can do the same with any existing governing structure. She smiles, slight, at Wanda. "Anyway, helping Sergeant Barnes was the right thing to do, and I'd do it again in a heartbeat. I'm glad the Task Force agrees with me, but it wasn't a surprise to me that they did."

[nerves_of_ice]

"Oh," Wanda says. She looks thoughtful, and Bucky trades a quick look with Vision, who's practically frozen with a block in his fingers.

Wanda seems to brace herself, then says, very softly, to Sharon, "I thought... I thought you wouldn't think that. About someone like - someone who was part of HYDRA, before."

[from_the_outside]

"Everybody's made mistakes," Sharon says, and turns to face the other woman, leaning on the table. "But not everybody does what they can to make up for them. And I think... the people who bought into HYDRA's promise... I think a lot of them did it out of desperation. I don't mean the leaders or the true believers, but people like you and your brother. And if they were that desperate, it means no one else was helping them. Not even SHIELD."

She smiles, rueful. "HYDRA didn't do all the breaking. Sometimes, they just took advantage of it. And every time someone breaks free of their shackles, they should be celebrated. Not condemned."

[nerves_of_ice]

"A very reasonable viewpoint," Vision says, and Wanda darts an amused look at him. "Of course you'd think so," she teases, softly. "But thank you, Agent Carter. I'll... think about what you've said. But right now, we should check on your pie."

Bucky visibly brightens at that. "Now there's an idea I can get behind," he says, laconically.

[from_the_outside]

"I think that sounds – " Sharon starts, only to be interrupted by the insistent beep of the timer going off. Wanda, surprised into losing focus, lets go of the tower and the blocks go raining down across the table.

" – definitely like a good idea," Sharon finishes, laughing. "I'll put these away if you guys go check on the pie."

[nerves_of_ice]

"I will help you," Vision says, gallantly, and begins to collect the blocks on his side.

Bucky gets up from the table. "I don't mind saying I'm curious about the pie. So I'll follow you, Wanda."