[AU] these are not the parts and poems of the body only, but of the soul

[from_the_outside]

They've all entered a kind of tense détente after the ill-advised dinner party. Tony throws himself into work, Sharon and Pepper mostly avoid each other, and Steve, Vision, and Nat continue with oversight duties.

And the thing is... Tony's working it out. 

Not a removal, exactly, but he's getting close, he'd told them, to at least blocking the commands. It's not perfect and it's not a permanent solution, but it's a step in the right direction. It's also a step in the direction of Tony needing to test the words on Bucky himself, and so Sharon and Steve are on extra high alert, keeping an eye out for any indication that Bucky's retreating into himself again. Sharon's mostly moved into the room they share in Steve's apartment for that very reason, though she still isn't wholly comfortable with being in Steve's space all the time.

He's away today, working with Sam and Rhodey on a veteran's outreach program, so it's Sharon who walks with Bucky through the halls of the compound towards Tony's rooms. "It's you and Vision with Tony today," she tells him, and glances across the distance they're careful to maintain when not alone behind closed doors.

"How are you feeling about everything?"

Comments

[nerves_of_ice]

Compromised, an inner voice whispers. He smashes it flat with desperate strength of will, and nods agreement. Remembering the conversation at Tony and Pepper's dinner, he says,

"That's true. And Agent Carter knew Steve a little before, from when she was still with SHIELD. It helps."

[from_the_outside]

"Really?" Vision says, curious as he glances at Sharon.

"Really," Sharon confirms. "Although mostly he knew me as my undercover identity instead of as myself. I was his assigned protective detail, so we actually lived next to each other for a while in DC."

[nerves_of_ice]

He still needs to talk to Steve about that, somehow, but that's for later. Bucky's silent for a second, considering, then says, quietly,

"Also, Agent Carter went to bat for me with the Task Force, after I... after the Winter Soldier was activated here." He's careful to keep his tone casual and matter of fact, keeps the way he's holding himself relaxed. "She believed in me before I could believe in myself. It's hard not to trust someone after something like that."

[from_the_outside]

"Even though you used to be a HYDRA agent?" Wanda asks, her voice very quiet.

Sharon's glad when Vision takes his turn, so she can study the tower they're building and not look at Bucky or Wanda. "Especially because of that," she says, considering her block and pretending to concentrate on the best spot to put it. "I didn't join the Task Force to police and punish people. I joined it because our purview is protection."

[nerves_of_ice]

"To be a shield," Bucky murmurs, but nods to Wanda. "Even then," he confirms.

[from_the_outside]

"HYDRA used and manipulated a lot of people," Sharon points out, and delicately balances her block off of the one Bucky had placed, the tower now beginning to resemble a crooked tree branch. "It's not exactly a black and white situation for the ones that got out, is it?"

She's intently aware of Wanda's own background, that she chose to allow HYDRA's experiments... but that choice came from a place of pain and desperation, not evil.

[nerves_of_ice]

He can see the concern flickering in Vision's glance, but the other man holds his silence, outwardly considering the placement of his next block. Remembering the worry he'd expressed before, Bucky decides that Vision must think that this conversation's worthwhile; that it'll help somehow.

"Not everyone in power in the organization was as obvious about HYDRA's true goals as Johann Schmidt or Arnim Zola," he says, and draws a slow, careful breath. This time he doesn't look at Sharon.

"In D.C., Alexander Pierce told me my work had been a gift to mankind. That it'd - that I'd shaped the century. That what we were doing would bring freedom to the world. He was very convincing. I know he wasn't the only one who was."

[from_the_outside]

"He fooled a lot of people," Sharon says, a little grimly, thinking of the meeting in Pierce's office the morning after Nick was shot and her cover blown. "And it's hard to argue against charisma and belief like that."

It was easier when HYDRA was obviously the bad guys, when their aims were bigotry and violence. Harder to point out their flaws when they can do the same with any existing governing structure. She smiles, slight, at Wanda. "Anyway, helping Sergeant Barnes was the right thing to do, and I'd do it again in a heartbeat. I'm glad the Task Force agrees with me, but it wasn't a surprise to me that they did."

[nerves_of_ice]

"Oh," Wanda says. She looks thoughtful, and Bucky trades a quick look with Vision, who's practically frozen with a block in his fingers.

Wanda seems to brace herself, then says, very softly, to Sharon, "I thought... I thought you wouldn't think that. About someone like - someone who was part of HYDRA, before."

[from_the_outside]

"Everybody's made mistakes," Sharon says, and turns to face the other woman, leaning on the table. "But not everybody does what they can to make up for them. And I think... the people who bought into HYDRA's promise... I think a lot of them did it out of desperation. I don't mean the leaders or the true believers, but people like you and your brother. And if they were that desperate, it means no one else was helping them. Not even SHIELD."

She smiles, rueful. "HYDRA didn't do all the breaking. Sometimes, they just took advantage of it. And every time someone breaks free of their shackles, they should be celebrated. Not condemned."

[nerves_of_ice]

"A very reasonable viewpoint," Vision says, and Wanda darts an amused look at him. "Of course you'd think so," she teases, softly. "But thank you, Agent Carter. I'll... think about what you've said. But right now, we should check on your pie."

Bucky visibly brightens at that. "Now there's an idea I can get behind," he says, laconically.

[from_the_outside]

"I think that sounds – " Sharon starts, only to be interrupted by the insistent beep of the timer going off. Wanda, surprised into losing focus, lets go of the tower and the blocks go raining down across the table.

" – definitely like a good idea," Sharon finishes, laughing. "I'll put these away if you guys go check on the pie."

[nerves_of_ice]

"I will help you," Vision says, gallantly, and begins to collect the blocks on his side.

Bucky gets up from the table. "I don't mind saying I'm curious about the pie. So I'll follow you, Wanda."

[from_the_outside]

Wanda nods and leads him over to the oven, where she turns off the timer before cracking open the door to peek inside. "It looks good," she says, then opens the door a little wider so Bucky can see. "I think maybe fifteen more minutes? Can you get some aluminum foil? We'll put it over the top so the crust doesn't burn."

[nerves_of_ice]

"Sure," he agrees, and searches through the drawers until he comes up with a roll of it. Following Wanda's soft instructions, he tears off a large sheet and folds it up, then takes out the middle until he comes up with a foil ring to place over the rim of the pie plate.

"You have to wonder who figures these things out," he muses. "I'm just a simple guy, not an inventor type or whatever."

[from_the_outside]

"People have been baking for a long time," Sharon points out as she comes back and leans on the counter, watching them with interest. "My mom has a special aluminum ring that she got just to protect pie crusts... when she remembers to use it."

[nerves_of_ice]

"Yeah, but if I'd been guessing, I'd have thought the metal holds in more heat, not less," Bucky points out. "Although I guess it could absorb it, or act like giving shade to what's under it."

[from_the_outside]

"Maybe it's just protecting from direct heat," Sharon hazards, but she honestly has no idea. She watches as Wanda directs Bucky to put the pie back in the oven, and brightens. "Another fifteen minutes, huh? That seems like plenty of time to make some whipped cream."

[nerves_of_ice]

"I'll look for a whisk," he agrees, and starts going through drawers again.

It doesn't appear to occur to him to look for an electric version.

[from_the_outside]

"Couldn't we just put it in a jar and shake it up?" Sharon asks, and Wanda gives them both a look like she's surprised they managed to put their shoes on correctly this morning.

"There's an electric beater," she points out. "In that drawer there, Sergeant – Bucky. That's the easiest way."

[nerves_of_ice]

He finds the device where Wanda's indicated and sets it up, ruefully amused.

"It's the little things about the future that you never expect," he explains.

[from_the_outside]

His mom and sisters would probably be pretty surprised by everything in this kitchen, but she can't exactly say so without making Wanda even more suspicious. Sharon digs out a steel bowl and brings it over to him, along with the cream and some sugar.

"The important thing," Wanda's saying, "is not to overbeat it. Otherwise you'll end up with sweet butter."

"Also delicious," Sharon points out, "but maybe not for this particular mission."

[nerves_of_ice]

“Stop while it’s still cream, before butter. Got it,” Bucky says, as Vision comes to hover and watch. He gives the other man a smile that has a flicker of wry mischief in it.

“Tell me when,” he says, and starts the beater whirring.

[from_the_outside]

Vision, who seems to take most things seriously, stands by Bucky's side and observes the beaters and cream with intent focus.

"How do we know when it's ready?" he asks, and Wanda gives him a fondly amused glance.

"You know what whipped cream looks like, Vis," she says. "Just pause every now and again and test it."

[nerves_of_ice]

“Tell me when,” Bucky says again, dryly, to Vision and Sharon both this time. He moves the whirling beater around in the bowl, turning the bowl occasionally to make sure he’s getting all parts as equally as possible.