[AU] these are not the parts and poems of the body only, but of the soul

[from_the_outside]

They've all entered a kind of tense détente after the ill-advised dinner party. Tony throws himself into work, Sharon and Pepper mostly avoid each other, and Steve, Vision, and Nat continue with oversight duties.

And the thing is... Tony's working it out. 

Not a removal, exactly, but he's getting close, he'd told them, to at least blocking the commands. It's not perfect and it's not a permanent solution, but it's a step in the right direction. It's also a step in the direction of Tony needing to test the words on Bucky himself, and so Sharon and Steve are on extra high alert, keeping an eye out for any indication that Bucky's retreating into himself again. Sharon's mostly moved into the room they share in Steve's apartment for that very reason, though she still isn't wholly comfortable with being in Steve's space all the time.

He's away today, working with Sam and Rhodey on a veteran's outreach program, so it's Sharon who walks with Bucky through the halls of the compound towards Tony's rooms. "It's you and Vision with Tony today," she tells him, and glances across the distance they're careful to maintain when not alone behind closed doors.

"How are you feeling about everything?"

Comments

[nerves_of_ice]

He doesn't reject the idea out of hand. Bucky considers it for a moment, then asks, "What would you do?"

[from_the_outside]

"Watch the show, if you stay in here. Or come with you, if you go lie down."

She pats her lap, inviting. "You could just curl up on the couch with me and close your eyes."

[nerves_of_ice]

There's something almost wistful in his glance as he watches her pat her leg. Bucky can almost see himself stretched out on the couch, his head on her lap, her fingers in his hair, and wants it more than he can find words to say.

"You wouldn't mind?" he tries, instead.

[from_the_outside]

"Not even a little," she promises. "I'd be happy to."

Sharon leans up to kiss his cheek, then shifts toward the other end of the couch, giving him plenty of room to stretch out and pats her lap again. "Come on. I promise I'm a really good pillow."

[nerves_of_ice]

He doesn't resist further. Bucky lies down on the couch, his head in her lap, and smiles up at her.

"Hi."

[from_the_outside]

She smiles down at him and lifts her hand to stroke his hair back from his forehead, her free hand resting on his chest. "Hi," she murmurs back, and keeps running her fingers lightly through his hair.

"Close your eyes, baby."

[nerves_of_ice]

His lashes are long against his cheek when he complies, lying still, a small, contented smile curving his lips.

[from_the_outside]

She studies his face, how relaxed and happy he looks, his lashes long and soft. He looks much younger, some of his many cares and worries lifted for a few moments from his shoulders.

Sharon lifts her hand away just long enough to turn the subtitles on and turn the volume down to a soporific murmur, then returns to gently smoothing his hair, her fingers gentle through the long strands of it. "Rest," she tells him, her voice quiet. "We've got nowhere to be."

[nerves_of_ice]

"You'll tell me, if you want to move, or if I'm too heavy," he says, just as quietly.

[from_the_outside]

"I will," she promises, carefully untangling a windblown knot in his hair before running her fingers through the straightened strands. "But I'm fine for now and you're not too heavy. Just relax, baby. I've got you."

[nerves_of_ice]

"As long as you're sure."

Slowly but surely, the tension that he carries in his body as a general rule starts to fade. His expression smooths out, and his breathing starts to deepen.

[from_the_outside]

She makes a soft sound and keeps slowly drawing her fingers through his hair, smoothing it back from his forehead, watching as tension drains out of him, as he lets himself grow heavy and loose. Her hand on his chest rises and falls more slowly as his breathing deepens.

You're every beat of my heart, he'd said, and she feels it now, this feeling pulsing through her. Wildfire, he'd called them, and there's no doubt that's true, but it's banked and content for now, more like the comfortable warmth of a hearth at home, or the steady burn of a candle.

But there. Always there. In every heartbeat, in every breath. "My sweetheart," she murmurs, and runs her thumb gently over his temple. "Sleep."

[nerves_of_ice]

"Sharon," he murmurs, the sound of her name barely audible and warm with a soft, quiet contentment as he tips his head into the touch of her hand.

Sleep, she murmurs, and he can, he thinks; he's tired enough too, gently soothed, and they're safe here. It's safe.

[from_the_outside]

"Your Sharon," she promises. Just Sharon, and that's okay. With him, it's okay. She doesn't need to be anything or anyone else.

He tips his head into her touch and she nudges back an errant lock of hair with deliberate care, treating his as gently as a precious treasure as she tucks it back behind his ear. "I'll be right here when you wake up."

[nerves_of_ice]

He makes a low sound deep in his chest and relaxes completely, giving himself up to her care with utter trust.

[from_the_outside]

She watches as he grows loose and heavy, breathing slow and deep, and finally turns her attention partially back to the show once it seems he's well on his way to drifting off.

But she doesn't stop gently running her fingers over his hair, and she doesn't move. He can sleep as long as he needs.