[oom] something in my mind freezes up from time to time

[from_the_outside]

She hardly has any time to protest when Nakia appears like a vengeful storm sweeping into Shuri's lab and hauls Sharon away like a child who has snuck out of bed.

"Nakia –!"

"I will return her once she is ready," Nakia tells Shuri, who looks like she's barely holding back laughter, and then drags Sharon down the short corridor to the train platform, tapping out an order on her Kimoyo beads as she does.

"Do I get to know what's going on?" Sharon complains, and Nakia gives her a flat look.

"Stretch your arms up as high as you can," she commands, and when Sharon hesitates snaps: "Well?"

Annoyed, Sharon does as requested, but can only get her left arm about halfway up before wincing and letting it drop again. "As I thought," Nakia says, patronizing, and ushers her onto the train.

What follows is a series of tests and scans Sharon submits to with poor grace. "I'm fine!" she protests. "It's been six weeks!" But the Wakandan doctors either don't believe her or are too scared of Nakia to ignore her orders, and Sharon finds herself on the business end of a needle or two and several strangely warm lights that do something uncomfortable to the ribs she'd broken and then re-broken.

"Why does it hurt more now?" she complains, and Nakia smiles peaceably. "Because you did not take care of them before and now they must heal properly. You will be fine tomorrow or the day after."

And whatever arguments Sharon makes, she refuses to hear.

---

Nakia keeps her resting for the remainder of the day, feigning deafness when Sharon asks about going either to the lab or to see Bucky, and the evening and night pass without incident. She does manage to see him the next day, but it's brief: Nakia had swept in shortly after sun-up with coffee and breakfast and informed Sharon she would be taking her to meet several of the different tribes. And that it would likely take all day.

So Sharon contents herself with waving to Bucky from a distance as she and Nakia pass by: the children must have been freed from their lessons because they're clamoring around him. She meets a slew of people whose names she tries her best to remember and returns to the Citadel that evening with a few colorful braided and beaded bracelets around her wrist and several yards of beautiful cloth one of the village women had pressed on her. She doesn't know what to do with it; Nakia takes it with a secretive smile and promises to find a purpose.

But the next morning, she's up and out before Nakia can show up with plans again: the doctors had said she would be fine today, and she has somewhere she needs to be. After she's made use of the coffee maker she'd wheedled out of the kitchen staff, showered, and changed, she's heading down the halls of the Citadel to the station.

Shuri had said first thing. They may already be there.

Comments

[nerves_of_ice]

It's a test as well as an offer, he's sure. Carefully, he closes his fingers around the camera.

(Everything's a test - no. No. That was then, not now. Not here.)

It's light enough without being fragile. He braces it against his body and shifts his grip, then hefts it in his hand, getting the feel of it. Thumb control is right-sided, and additional adjustments are on top right, within easy fingertip reach. It's clear the left side on this model is used primarily for stabilization and card storage - which will make it feasible to operate.

Slowly, he smiles, and it's warm like the sun's dawning.

"Yes," he says, simply.

[from_the_outside]

That smile is worth everything from the last few days. She wishes she had any idea how to use any of these cameras to try and capture it, but without the knowledge or the equipment, all she can do is look at him and try to commit it to memory.

She's not sure any picture could do it justice, anyway. Can any photo make her chest feel like a room slowly filling with sunlight?

The photographer, clearly delighted at finding a kindred spirit, smiles as well. "I have a few lenses that work with that model," he says. "If you're interested, I can throw in a few SD cards as well."

[nerves_of_ice]

"Definitely interested," he agrees. "Figure I've got some work to do before I can manage a telephoto lens again, but macro and wide-angle and a standard zoom--"

"I can do you one better," the photographer tells them, and pulls a box out from under the table, where it'd been half-hidden by a drape. Carefully he lifts out the lens contained within. "New tech from the Wakanda Design Group. Takes anything from far-range true telephoto to macro with better quality than I've ever seen before, and the size is nearly flat." He flashes them a broad grin. "You'll still have to do the wide-angle separately though."

Bucky looks at the logo for Shuri's lab on the box, and huffs out a breath of laughter. "Figures if anyone'd come up with it, it'd be them."

He shakes his head, still amused, and reaches for the hidden clip where he keeps his card. "Whatever you're asking, I'll pay it. Thank you."

Bucky glances to the side, then, and adds, holding Sharon's gaze --

"And thank you. For insisting."

[from_the_outside]

She meets his eyes and shakes her head, smiling. "I'm glad you found something great," she says, simply, and watches as the photographer hands Bucky's card back to him and starts packing up the camera and its bag, the WDG lens, another lens that she assumes must be the wide-angle, and a series of SD cards. "And I'm looking forward to seeing your photos."

Especially since these won't all have to be of old museum exhibits.

In the meantime, she'll hold onto the memory of that smile and the warmth of his back under her hand when she briefly presses her hand to it. "I feel like you're going to have a lot of fun playing around with it."

[nerves_of_ice]

"Maybe," he agrees, and tries not to let his thoughts linger over the feel of her hand against his back. "I guess we'll see."

The photographer hands over everything in a canvas bag with a shoulder strap, and Bucky swings it to his shoulder without difficulty as he thanks him again.

"You're welcome -- your Highness!" His eyes widen as T'Challa walks up, Nakia at his side. T'Challa crosses his arms over his chest, and the photographer does the same, still a little wide-eyed with surprise, but pleased as T'Challa says,

"Thank you for your advice, and your skill. We appreciate it as well."

[from_the_outside]

She manages to resist the urge to laugh, either at the photographer's surprise or at T'Challa's flair for the dramatic.

(When she catches Nakia's eye and her friend rolls hers, she knows Nakia is facing the same challenge.)

"You honor me. It was my pleasure," the photographer is saying, and, given his annoyance with the world and people in general only moments ago, Sharon thinks he's being sincere. Nakia is looking over his photos with a practiced eye, and she'll be surprised if one or more don't find their way to the walls of the Citadel before nightfall.

Sharon takes a few steps back to keep from crowding the booth, and looks up at Bucky. "I'd say this was a successful trip," she says, pleased: with him, with the seller, with T'Challa and Nakia, with herself, with the day thus far.

She got what she came for, anyway.

[nerves_of_ice]

"I think so too," he murmurs, a small smile on his face as he looks down at her.

[from_the_outside]

She has the sensation again of a thrill melting from the top of her head down under the combination of his gaze and that tiny smile, and can't stop herself; she takes the half-step forward she needs to come close, let her fingers catch his, and look up into his face with warm eyes.

"I'm really happy for you," she says, softly. "You deserve it."

They're still surrounded by people. She's mostly forgotten them.

[nerves_of_ice]

He shakes his head in denial, but squeezes her fingers all the same - and then lets go and steps back as Nakia turns from the booth and secures Sharon's other arm with a bright smile.

"Now that you have finished your shopping," she says, "are you ready to come with me for that picnic? The waterfall is truly spectacular, you will love it."

Bucky, meanwhile, moves to join T'Challa, who has finally finished talking with the photographer.

[from_the_outside]

She laughs as much in surprise as in delight and reaches across herself to put her hand over Nakia's. "I'm all yours," she promises.

"Good," Nakia declares. "We'll go back to the Citadel first to collect what we need. And the trip from the Citadel is nearly as beautiful as the falls themselves; the train goes deep into the River Tribe province."

She begins walking Sharon off as she speaks, leaving enough time only for Sharon to wave a slightly bewildered good-bye to Bucky and T'Challa – who looks nearly as bemused as she feels.

"See you later," she tells them – tells Bucky, and offers a last smile before she and Nakia vanish into the swirling crowd.

[nerves_of_ice]

"She is very annoyed with you," T'Challa says, as they watch Nakia and Sharon leave. "I do not believe it is your fault, but..."

"I know," Bucky sighs.

"Give it time. At least you do not have anyone comparing you to a gazelle."

[from_the_outside]

They've only made it about twenty yards away when Sharon's eye catches on a booth and she tugs at Nakia's hand. "Give me one second, okay?"

She peels off to go to the booth and a short conversation ensues before she hands over a few bills and receives a small bag containing a palm-sized package in return.

"Okay," she tells Nakia, whose expression is a mix of exasperated affection and resignation. "Let's go."

Nakia chats lightly as they head to the nearest train platform, telling her about the waterfall and its importance to the River Tribe. "There is a series of pools at the bottom that are perfect for swimming," she promises.

"I can't wait," Sharon tells her, as they board the train back to the Citadel. "Show me everything."

[nerves_of_ice]

"A gazelle, huh?" He doesn't laugh, but it's a near thing. "That sounds like a story."

"Oh, it is," T'Challa agrees, ruefully. "Between my sister and Okoye I had no peace. Someday, I--"

He's interrupted by a soft chime from his wrist. As he raises his hand and taps one of the beads on his bracelet, a figure appears as if she'd been summoned by the sound of her name. Okoye gives T'Challa a frustrated look. "Your highness, if you are quite finished playing in the market, perhaps I could trouble you to show up to your meeting with M'Baku? Ideally before we kick off a new war when the Dora who are his honor guard finally lose patience with his poking and poke back with their spears?"

Bucky swallows another laugh at the resigned expression on T'Challa's face. He promises Okoye that he is on his way, then dismisses the call and looks at Bucky.

"Do you want to come along?"

"I'm not much of a politician," he says, slowly.

"Neither is M'Baku. So it might be entertaining. But only if you want."

"--all right," Bucky decides, and turns to walk beside him. Neither of them mention that it's the first time he's accepted an invitation like this since arriving in Wakanda.

[from_the_outside]

"Was T'Challa really playing hooky?" Sharon asks, as the train pulls out of the platform and speeds its way towards the Citadel, and Nakia laughs.

"Really," she confirms. "These negotiations with the Jabari are complicated. And M'Baku is a proud and stubborn man."

"There are a lot of those around," Sharon says, and grins as Nakia rolls her eyes.

There are several stops to make at the Citadel itself: Sharon's room, to drop off her purchases, Nakia's suites so her friend can change into something a little more walking- and swimming-friendly, and finally the kitchens, where Nakia wheedles a backpack basket of food and several bottles out of the smiling staff.

It's almost an hour after they've arrived back at the Citadel when they step onto a train heading deep into the River Tribe lands, but the whole afternoon stretches out before them.

"This reminds me of that time in Cartagena," Sharon says, looking out the window as the train speeds through dappled jungle shadows. Nakia laughs.

"With fewer drug runners, I hope."

[nerves_of_ice]

"It's still hard to believe all of that happened in a week," Bucky muses, as they reach the Citadel and head for the throne room. "And that I slept through it all. Although I guess I've done that before, with other things."

"If you drink much more of my sister's coffee, that will not be an issue," T'Challa informs him, and this time Bucky does laugh, low and quick, before going silent as he drops back to let T'Challa enter first.

"My king," Okoye greets him, the slight sharpening to her glance the only sign of her surprise as she spots Bucky. "M'Baku, leader of the Jabari, is here to meet with you."

"And has been waiting for far too long!" M'Baku booms, before catching sight of Bucky. "What is this? Were you too busy playing with your new dog to remember your duty?"

Bucky doesn't give any sign that he has even heard him as he takes a moment to set the newly-purchased camera down on a table out of the way before taking up position to the side. T'Challa raises his eyebrows at M'Baku.

"If you cannot tell the difference between a dog and a wolf, M'Baku, then that explains a great many things."

[from_the_outside]

The train takes them only about three-quarters of the way there, and leaves them on a platform built over the wide waters of a calm river. Nakia leads the way down to a floating pier and exchanges greetings with a River Tribe member who escorts them onto a small, flat-bottomed boat. A console in the bow lights up in response to a command from Nakia's Kimoyo beads and the boatsman waves cheerfully as an unseen propeller starts up and pushes them smoothly away from shore.

"What do you think?" asks Nakia, once they've left all signs of other people behind, and Sharon takes a deep breath of mellow, river-scented air, and smiles.

"It's perfect."

"It's where I grew up," Nakia explains. "In this river valley, this flood plain. I have made this trip so many times – I am happy now to make it with you."

Sharon nods and leans on the railing, watching the shore float by, until Nakia digs into the basket and comes out again with a bottle of wine. "Time to celebrate your arrival, I think," she says, and Sharon shakes her head with a laugh.

"You throw the best parties."

[nerves_of_ice]

M'Baku's deep belly laugh rolls over the room like thunder. He shakes his finger at T'Challa, then at Bucky, and comes over to stand in front of him. "Well, Wolf, what do you have to say for yourself? Will you try to rip out my throat if I insult your king?"

Bucky stares him in the eye. He has to look up to do so, but it doesn't concern him.

"I didn't come here to fight. But if you start one, I'll finish it."

M'Baku stares back at him, then looks at T'Challa in disbelief before turning back to Bucky. "Like this?" he asks, tapping Bucky on the left shoulder. Bucky doesn't react; he knows M'Baku is looking for exactly that. "Like this, you think you can win against me?"

T'Challa stirs, but Bucky gets there first. "Whether I won or lost wouldn't matter."

M'Baku throws his head back and laughs again. "A Wolf indeed! T'Challa, if this kind of warrior is what you want Wakanda to let in, we might have something to talk about." He turns away and goes to sit in the chair that's been set out for him, entertained and ready to discuss. T'Challa and Bucky exchange a long look, then T'Challa takes his seat on the throne and leans forward to address M'Baku.

Bucky watches them for a moment, then notices that Okoye is watching him. He catches her eye, and is startled to see faint approval in her glance.

[from_the_outside]

She waits until they're both halfway down their first cups of wine – it's light and tastes faintly of gooseberries – before broaching the thing that's been on her mind since the market. "You know, Bucky's going to start thinking you don't like him, if you keep being so cool with him," she says, casually, and Nakia rolls her eyes.

"I like him," she protests. "We all do."

"Then?" presses Sharon.

Her friend shakes her head, mouth pressing. "I like him, for himself. Not for you."

"Nakia, I told you –"

"I know, I know." Nakia lifts a hand to dismiss her protests. "And you are so stubborn! You will not listen to me, you will not even listen to him."

"I listen," Sharon says, so petulantly that Nakia laughs and leans forward to cup her cheek.

"To your own heart, maybe. But perhaps it's time to listen to someone else, for a change." Brightly. "Someone with perspective. And a working brain."

[nerves_of_ice]

The discussion, or negotiation, or whatever it is, goes on for a while. He hadn't been lying when he told T'Challa that he wasn't much for politics. He's seen too much of it, from too many sides, and been the tool of it too many times.

But he has to admit this is a little different. M'Baku is loud and boisterous -- and utterly, utterly straightforward and honest. T'Challa is quieter and more reserved, but just as clearly determined to do what is right and good, not what will give him the most power for power's sake.

By the time it's all over and M'Baku rises to leave, Bucky finds himself thinking that maybe, just once, maybe this time it'll all work out for the best.

[from_the_outside]

"Rude," says Sharon, but Nakia just keeps going. "If everyone is telling you something different than you want to believe, perhaps you should pay attention," she says, not unkindly.

Sharon only shrugs. If everyone in the whole world is telling you to move –

"Just don't take it out on him," she says, after a long moment. "He's not responsible for what I do."

"Who is?" teases her friend, lightly, but she subsides and they sip their wine for a while in silence as the river carries them along.

As promised, the waterfall is beautiful. It truly looks like the river is falling over the edge of the world when Nakia directs the little boat to the shore and they disembark onto sun-warmed grass and a soft dirt path. They spread grass mats at the edge of the drop and set the basket in the middle, but before long someone has dared someone else to jump off the top of the cliff into the pool below, and after that it's only a matter of time before their picnic is abandoned and the air is ringing with shouts and laughter and the boisterous sound of water splashing.

[nerves_of_ice]

"Well," T'Challa says into the silence after M'Baku leaves. "That could certainly have gone worse."

Okoye gives him a disbelieving stare, and Bucky fights a smile. T'Challa grins unrepentantly at them both, then sobers, looking speculatively at Bucky. "Perhaps we could--"

"My king--"

"-- all right, Okoye, yes, I know. After the long afternoon full of many meetings that I have ahead of me," he says, "perhaps we could talk more about this. And other things. Such as how many different pictures it is possible for one man to take of a herd of goats."

"Sounds fine by me," Bucky agrees, amused at that. He reclaims his bag and heads for the door as the next diplomat is escorted in.

Walking back to the lake, he lets the quiet settle in for the first time since arriving at the train station this morning, and starts sifting through everything that's happened today.

[from_the_outside]

Once they've tired themselves out, they climb back up to the top of the cliff, where the now mid-afternoon sun has warmed the grass mats until they smell sweetly of freshly hayed fields. Sharon collapses on one, wringing out the light underthings she'd worn in the water and spreading her hair out behind her head to dry haphazardly in the sun and breeze.

They listen in companionable silence to the sound of the waterfall, the rustle of the grasses, the chirping of unseen insects and singing birds, until Nakia's voice comes again. "Did you get to say goodbye to your family?"

There's a soft sound as Sharon shakes her head, and Nakia's sigh mixes with that of the breeze floating over the water. "You miss them?"

"Yes," Sharon admits, "but it doesn't feel real yet. I've gone longer than six weeks without seeing or talking to them before, but now –?"

Nakia nods at the sky, then rolls onto her stomach and starts searching through the basket. "I'm glad you are here," she says, simply, holding out some napkins and parcels wrapped in waxed cloth, and Sharon smiles, a little rueful, as she sits up to help set their picnic out.

"Me, too."

[nerves_of_ice]

Having the camera helps. He guesses he shouldn't be surprised at that, seeing as how looking at things through the lens both serves to provide distance and control of the visual field. It's part of why he likes photography in the first place.

He lets his thoughts wind back over the morning as he opens the boxes and starts putting together the camera, going back over all of the memories that had surfaced, in the lab and after, consciously and unconsciously. It's a lot.

Natasha. Sharon had suggested he reach out to her. If Nakia's becoming successful in her strategy maybe that's why, but he's not sure. It doesn't really matter, anyway, as he is sure that if there was a chance to return to what he and Natasha had between the two of them, she would have said something after Berlin. Steve had mentioned she'd spent some time with Banner -- which was a hell of a surprise, but maybe there's something there that he's not seeing -- and then there's everything with Barton, too.

"Natalia Alianovna," he murmurs, fondly, as he focuses the lens and takes the first shot, "you never did pick the simple path."

[from_the_outside]

There's so much to catch up on. Nakia listens as Sharon tells her about D.C., about Berlin and the JTTF, about Franche-Comté, about Polygyros, about Leipzig, about Aunt Peggy's funeral and how it all fell apart after.

And when she's finished, Nakia fills her in on everything that happened here the week after Bucky and Steve arrived. The pain in her friend's voice when she describes the ritual combat between T'Challa and Killmonger is still so raw and acute that for a while she stops talking, just holds onto the hand Sharon offers her as they watch the sun begin to sink towards the far-off horizon.

It's just about sunset by the time they've told all their stories and caught each other up to now, and they sip at the last of their wine as the Wakandan sky burns gold and orange and crimson and rose in the west.

But Sharon doesn't mention the morning, or the memories that had surfaced, or how Steve and Rome might factor into this knot she keeps tying around herself.

She's still not quite sure what to do about it yet, and Nakia will only tell her to let him go.

That she knows she doesn't want.

[nerves_of_ice]

The sun is low in the sky when T'Challa finishes the last of his meetings and walks out on one of the open terraces to draw a deep breath. It has been a good day, at least, one that will help to ensure Wakanda's continuing stability at home and leadership in the world, but it has been a very great deal to manage in a single afternoon.

He checks the time. Nakia and Sharon should be on their way back soon, once the light has faded. He should have just enough time to visit Barnes and see if--

"My king." There is tension in Okoye's voice as she steps out on the terrace behind him. "An unidentified jet is approaching Wakandan borders, at great speed, and using stealth technology to remain undetected by others. The shape, it looks ... familiar... to me, but I need you to confirm."

T'Challa swears quietly, under his breath, and taps a bead on his wrist to make a call as he strides back inside.