[oom] something in my mind freezes up from time to time

[from_the_outside]

She hardly has any time to protest when Nakia appears like a vengeful storm sweeping into Shuri's lab and hauls Sharon away like a child who has snuck out of bed.

"Nakia –!"

"I will return her once she is ready," Nakia tells Shuri, who looks like she's barely holding back laughter, and then drags Sharon down the short corridor to the train platform, tapping out an order on her Kimoyo beads as she does.

"Do I get to know what's going on?" Sharon complains, and Nakia gives her a flat look.

"Stretch your arms up as high as you can," she commands, and when Sharon hesitates snaps: "Well?"

Annoyed, Sharon does as requested, but can only get her left arm about halfway up before wincing and letting it drop again. "As I thought," Nakia says, patronizing, and ushers her onto the train.

What follows is a series of tests and scans Sharon submits to with poor grace. "I'm fine!" she protests. "It's been six weeks!" But the Wakandan doctors either don't believe her or are too scared of Nakia to ignore her orders, and Sharon finds herself on the business end of a needle or two and several strangely warm lights that do something uncomfortable to the ribs she'd broken and then re-broken.

"Why does it hurt more now?" she complains, and Nakia smiles peaceably. "Because you did not take care of them before and now they must heal properly. You will be fine tomorrow or the day after."

And whatever arguments Sharon makes, she refuses to hear.

---

Nakia keeps her resting for the remainder of the day, feigning deafness when Sharon asks about going either to the lab or to see Bucky, and the evening and night pass without incident. She does manage to see him the next day, but it's brief: Nakia had swept in shortly after sun-up with coffee and breakfast and informed Sharon she would be taking her to meet several of the different tribes. And that it would likely take all day.

So Sharon contents herself with waving to Bucky from a distance as she and Nakia pass by: the children must have been freed from their lessons because they're clamoring around him. She meets a slew of people whose names she tries her best to remember and returns to the Citadel that evening with a few colorful braided and beaded bracelets around her wrist and several yards of beautiful cloth one of the village women had pressed on her. She doesn't know what to do with it; Nakia takes it with a secretive smile and promises to find a purpose.

But the next morning, she's up and out before Nakia can show up with plans again: the doctors had said she would be fine today, and she has somewhere she needs to be. After she's made use of the coffee maker she'd wheedled out of the kitchen staff, showered, and changed, she's heading down the halls of the Citadel to the station.

Shuri had said first thing. They may already be there.

Comments

[nerves_of_ice]

Shuri meets him in the communications room and joins him at the monitoring station where the holographic image of the jet spins in slow three-dimensional detail between them.

"It looks the same," T'Challa says, and Shuri nods agreement. "But theirs isn't the only one out there. Open a secure channel."

A chime sounds, then another, and then a call window opens to the side of the jet's display. Steve Rogers looks at them through it.

"Your Highness. I apologize for the unannounced approach, but I didn't want to risk being detected by anyone else. I'll understand if I'm not welcome." He sounds apologetic, and very, very rueful.

"Captain Rogers. You are always welcome here." Tension in the room lowers as T'Challa addresses him, and then spikes again at his next question. "Is there trouble? Some danger of which we need to be aware?"

Steve shakes his head, and this time, everyone relaxes, including T'Challa. "No, this is just a personal call. I had the time, and I just..."

Shuri huffs at him as T'Challa smiles. "I think we understand." He turns to his sister. "Bring him to the Citadel. It will be better if as few people realize Captain Rogers is here as is possible."

[from_the_outside]

The flyer proves to be a ship not unlike a smaller Quinjet, and it arrives about twenty minutes after T'Challa's notification. Nakia seems relaxed enough as the ship lands, but when they board it to find two Dora in guard position, Sharon sees a flicker pass over her friend's serenely set features.

"Just a precaution," Nakia tells her, and Sharon has no choice but to nod and do her best to relax as the flyer takes off again, zooming swiftly in the direction of the Citadel.

They're airborne only a moment or two before Nakia's Kimoyo beads chime again, but this time, when the miniature T'Challa looks up at them, it's with a smile.

"Well?" says Nakia, and glances at Sharon. "Is it –"

"It is Captain Rogers," T'Challa says, smoothly, and Nakia makes a startled sound that echoes the one Sharon's brain makes.

"Steve is here?" she asks, bewildered, and T'Challa nods. "He will be here at the Citadel when you arrive. Although...there is no rush. Feel free to go to your quarters first, if you would like to freshen up."

She doesn't know how the holograms can reproduce T'Challa's judgment so mercilessly, but she finds herself trying to comb the tangles out of her windblown, river-washed hair anyway. Nakia tsks and waves him away after a short farewell, then looks at Sharon.

"Captain Rogers has come to visit?"

"Don't ask me," Sharon says, shortly. "I don't know."

The rest of the trip is mercifully quiet.

[nerves_of_ice]

He's mostly gotten the camera in place before the first stars come out, while there's still light enough to see clearly. Bucky had taken a couple of logs from the pile and fashioned a rough stump of a table to use as support, in lieu of a tripod. The night sky here's nice, and he wants -- he wants, just for himself, just to see -- to see what kind of time-lapse images he can capture.

That idea gets tossed aside the instant Shuri comes hurrying over the hill. "Bucky!"

"Shuri." He rises swiftly to his feet, camera forgotten. "What's wrong? Is it--"

"Nothing is wrong," she promises as she reaches him. She lays a reassuring hand on his forearm. "Nothing is wrong. But come with me, quickly. You have a visitor."

"A vis-- " He blinks, and his entire face lights up in a smile. "Steve?"

"Captain Rogers," Shuri confirms. "Now come. He will be landing shortly."

Bucky snatches up his new camera, dumps it unceremoniously on his bed, and sets off with Shuri for the Citadel.

[from_the_outside]

By the time they land back at the Citadel, she's so amped up it's all she can do to keep from pacing back and forth across the little flyer. She's not sure if he's landed yet – or if he'll want to see her – or if she wants to see him –

Well, that's not true. She does want to see him, wants badly to see him and see with her own two eyes that he's okay. It's been a long six weeks for him, too. She feels suddenly and unaccountably guilty that she didn't get him a gift at the market.

But T'Challa's right: she's in no shape for a visit. If Steve wouldn't care, she does, so once they've landed she heads off to her quarters after extracting a promise from Nakia to come get her before she goes to meet Steve and T'Challa. And then once she's there, she only has time for a quick shower and to wrap her hair in a towel Shuri had promised would dry it in a fraction of the time, to sort through the clothes Nakia had given her until she finds something clean and presentable.

The pants have pockets; she slips the package from the market into one. If Steve's here, that means Bucky will be, too. She may as well give it to him tonight. No reason to wait until morning.

Nakia appears, as promised, looking gorgeous and glowing and fashionable and Sharon makes a face at her as they head back into the corridor. "Teach me how to do that," she says, and Nakia laughs.

"Not to worry. Somehow, I don't think I will be the center of attention tonight."

[nerves_of_ice]

He stands with Shuri and T'Challa amid the guards, watching as the Quinjet lands on the flight pad behind the Citadel. As soon as it touches down, Shuri flicks a small disc at it and a wave of energy washes over the aircraft, hiding it from the rest of the world.

The ramp lowers and Steve ducks his head below the flight deck as he descends without waiting for it to fully open. Bucky would know the expression on his face anywhere - that's the 'better to ask forgiveness than permission' look that used to get them both in so much trouble, and he finds himself giving Steve a wry look of his own in turn.

Steve flashes a smile at Bucky, but turns first to T'Challa. "Your Highness. Thank you again."

"Captain Rogers. You are welcome. Come," he says, as Bucky comes forward and Steve pulls him into a quick hug. "Let us all go inside, where there are fewer curious eyes to see."

Bucky catches Steve's glance around at the others, and asks T'Challa what his friend can't.

"Are Nakia and Sharon back yet?"

"I have sent word," T'Challa promises. "They will be here soon."

[from_the_outside]

"Where are we meeting them?" Sharon asks, as Nakia walks them along the graceful Citadel halls, and Nakia checks her Kimoyo beads.

"Not far," she says, cheerfully. It's all she says, so Sharon concentrates on keeping up and wishing her hair would dry a little faster. It's still slightly damp and drying in haphazard curls on her shoulders and her cheeks are very pink from a combination of sun and exertion when they round a corner and Nakia ushers her into a slightly smaller version of the garden room she'd seen before. This one has a few water features and a fire pit surrounded by comfortable-looking chairs and climbing vines.

It also has T'Challa, Shuri, Bucky...and Steve Rogers, larger than life and looking pleased as punch to see her.

"What a nice surprise," she says. It feels like she can't stop smiling, and when he comes to give her a hug, she hugs him tightly back, pleased that her stomach seems to have decided to quit its antics around him.

But it is good to see him.

Letting go, she takes a few steps back and grins at him. "Couldn't stay away, huh?"

She gives in then and looks over at Bucky, searching for the happiness she knows she'll see in his face: she's never had a best friend, but if she had, she's still not sure she'd understand the depth of the bond they share. "It's not your birthday, is it?" she teases.

[nerves_of_ice]

"March," Bucky says, laconically, from where he's half-perched on the arm of one of the chairs, looking perfectly at ease and content with the world, and Steve laughs. "Well, we've got a few decades worth of those to catch up on anyway."

"Why did you come?" Shuri asks, all curiosity and scolding at once. "Without warning like that - you frightened us half to death!"

T'Challa gives her a sharp look. "What? It's true," Shuri protests, but subsides as Steve turns to face her, abashed. "I'm sorry. I should have sent word, called ahead, something, but -- Sharon was right." His glance slides to her. "I couldn't stay away."

"Of course you couldn't," Bucky says, quiet and certain, and Steve turns to him. The two of them trade a look, Steve's a little searching, Bucky's steady and sure.

[from_the_outside]

She suddenly wishes she and Nakia had decided to bring another bottle of wine on their trip, because she's certain she could use the fortification.

Not that she thinks she sees too much of a pining lover in Steve's steady blue eyes. There is something, something different than before, but it isn't that. It's more like...he's waiting for something. "Well, whatever the reason, it's nice to see you," she says. "In the flesh, I mean. Plus, it means Nakia and I got to fly back from the falls, and that was pretty cool."

She's been moving as she talks, and she winds up positioning herself near where Bucky's perched himself on the arm of the chair. "Hey," she says, smiling just because it's so nice to see him looking so content.

"Did you try out the new camera yet? How is it?"

[nerves_of_ice]

"Pretty nice so far. I'll try it on night shots later," Bucky tells her, then looks to Steve. "Picked up a new camera in the market this morning, after the latest round of lab scans," he explains, knowing full well that'll distract his friend.

He's right. Steve's attention focuses sharply on him, and then shoots to Shuri with the precision of a laser sight. "New scans?"

Shuri nods. "Sharon brought the notebooks the JTTF claimed," she explains, and recognition lights Steve's glance. "We are using them to explore the links and find the traps buried in memory." She makes a face. "Some are more successful than others."

"It's not so bad," Bucky reassures her - well, everyone, he guesses, given the looks he's now getting. Steve eyes him, then turns back to Sharon.

"Anything that helps. Thanks for bringing them."

[from_the_outside]

She's fighting to keep her arms from crossing and wraps one hand around the other wrist to keep from anxiously rubbing at her fingers.

His eyes are so blue. She wonders if they were that color before the serum, too. "I'm just glad I could get them away from the JTTF," she says, soft.

One more strike on her record. One more more choice she'd happily make again and again.

Steve smiles. "Another thing to add to the list," he says, a little ruefully, and earns a quirked half-smile back from her.

"It's getting kind of long," she says, amused, and he chuckles.

But it all feels very...suspenseful. She's not sure how to interact with Steve while Bucky is here watching, knowing that his bias will interpret any friendly sign as something else, and she doesn't want to hurt Steve, either.

If Bucky's right. Which she's not convinced of.

Add T'Challa, Nakia, and Shuri to the mix and her conversational ability feels pretty well dried up. "But the things Shuri's doing with those journals are amazing."

[nerves_of_ice]

"My sister is very talented," T'Challa agrees. He's seated himself by Nakia, and is holding one of her hands loosely in his.

"I'll say," Bucky replies. "Even if I don't understand the half of it. It's the weirdest feeling. At one point I could have sworn we were at the Dodgers game - my birthday that time, remember, when the season opener was so early?"

Steve's face lights up with the recollection and with something more. "So you remember that?" he asks, softly, and Bucky nods. "It's all there. In pieces still, a lot of it, but it's there." He smiles, making it easy, making it relaxed. "How long you got? I could tell all the old stories, let Sharon know what you were really like as a kid," he offers, and Steve smiles at that.

"I wish. But I have to get back before dawn," he tells everyone, with a nod for T'Challa as he adds, "Earlier, if needed, to stay under your radar. Nat promised she'd never let me live it down if I got us caught on a field trip."

Bucky grimaces at that. "Better believe it."

[from_the_outside]

She doesn't like feeling this way about her friend. Doesn't like the way her stomach twists and her jaw tenses, because for one thing, jealousy doesn't look good on anyone, and for another...

She never cared before, when she only had her best guess. Why care now, when she knows for sure?

Honestly, she wishes it were something as simple as jealousy, which could be named and dealt with. But this, it's all tied up with anxiety and uncertainty and it's just one more complicated factor in a situation which she desperately, desperately needs to simplify. It's a Gordian knot and she is just looking for a sword.

But she doesn't let any of it cross her face as she smiles at the two of them, shaking her head at them. "You can just tell me those stories anyway," she reminds Bucky, a little archly. "And then I'll have plenty of ammunition for next time. And Steve can tell me all the embarrassing things you left out about yourself."

[nerves_of_ice]

"There's that," Bucky says, lightly, and Steve agrees, "That's a deal. For next time."

He's looking at Sharon with open curiosity now.

"How long are you planning to stick around?"

[from_the_outside]

"Until I wear out my welcome, I guess," she says, just as light. "It's pretty nice not to have to be watching my back every second of the day and night."

Her fingers start rubbing together; she stops them with an effort. "Why?"

[nerves_of_ice]

Steve nods at that, just as Nakia says, firmly, "You are welcome as long as you wish to stay." Beside her, T'Challa nods agreement.

"Just wanted to make sure," Steve adds. "If you were looking for somewhere else to go..." He shrugs.

Bucky's eyes narrow, just slightly, intent on his best friend.

"Are you setting up a network?"

[from_the_outside]

"Nothing formal," says Steve, and looks back at her. "You're smart and resourceful, and good in a fight. If you want, we could use you on the team. Sam and Nat think so, too," he adds, hurriedly, as Sharon's mouth drops slightly open in surprise.

"Thanks," she says, after a pause that feels too long. "But I think I'm...more useful here, for the time being."

Belatedly she realizes she's glanced at Bucky; she looks hurriedly to Nakia for support, gestures to her and Shuri. "I've already got some assignments from these two."

"Yes," Shuri pipes up. "You cannot take her unless you replace her with someone else willing to turn invisible and try to climb walls."

"What?" says T'Challa, with a sharp look, but Shuri only blinks wide-eyed innocence at him.

For his part, Steve chuckles and lifts a hand. "It sounds like you're all set," he says, amused. "That's great."

She smiles, herself, relieved. "I'm sure you three will find a way to muddle through somehow," she says, and he smiles back.

"We always do."

[nerves_of_ice]

He's gone too still, he knows, and can only be grateful that he doesn't react when Sharon glances at him for -- an opinion? Support? Whatever it is, he somehow keeps his expression neutral, and she turns to Nakia and Shuri instead.

And then she turns him down, turns Steve down, and Steve --

Bucky watches him carefully for any sign of disappointment, and is surprised to find nothing more than calm acceptance. In anyone else, he'd just think it was well-hidden, but this is Steve Rogers... who's looking at him, he realizes.

Bucky manages to shrug, and raises his eyebrows in a 'your guess is as good as mine' expression, and Steve chuckles, very softly. There's a moment that hangs between them, and then he adds,

"You're looking better every day, Buck," he says, and this time T'Challa's the one who laughs.

"You are not the only one who thinks so. He very nearly ended up championing Wakanda against the Jabari earlier today."

[from_the_outside]

"Wait, what?" Sharon nearly laughs in surprise. Nakia smacks T'Challa's arm.

"Of course there was no actual fight," he says, offended that she would think so, but she shakes her head at him forbiddingly.

"M'Baku?" Sharon asks, and T'Challa nods. She smiles a little to herself: M'Baku might be big, but there's no doubt in her mind who'd win that fight. "I can't believe we missed all the excitement."

"Not exciting," Shuri says, playing with her Kimoyo beads. "Very boring. Talk, talk, talk, talk. It is why I stay in the lab."

"That, and because you are not supposed to be involved in negotiations," T'Challa reminds her, and she shrugs.

[nerves_of_ice]

"Shuri's right, it wasn't that exciting," Bucky promises - mostly to Steve, who's giving him a skeptical look, but a little to Sharon as well.

"Big guy, a lot of hot air, a lot of posturing, uses his size and strength to make a point, you know the drill." He shrugs again. "But a decent guy, seems like, all the same."

"You have summarized him well," T'Challa observes.

"Part of my skill set," Bucky answers, deliberately light.

[from_the_outside]

She still wants to fight him. And she's pretty sure Bucky can see that thought in her face, when she's tamping down her amused smile.

"And the rest of the afternoon was very productive," T'Challa says, easily, manfully ignoring the way Nakia is poking at his ribcage.

"Because Okoye made you stay and work?" she asks, cunning, and he sighs. But nods.

That leads to another peal of laughter and Shuri ragging on her brother, and after a little while, Sharon relaxes enough to finally take a seat, and Steve does, too. It's nice to have him here, she thinks, eyes warm as she listens and watches him and Bucky, how Bucky's eyes light up when he looks at his friend, the relief in the set of Steve's shoulders when he's watching Bucky in return.

It's nice. Nice enough that for a little while, she stops worrying about what Bucky thinks or Steve thinks and just lets the evening wash over her with laughter and stories and all the things she'd thought for a while she'd never really be able to have again.

[nerves_of_ice]

They haven't had enough moments like this, Bucky thinks, listening as Steve tells them all about Sam Wilson's never-ending quest to introduce him to different kinds of music. Not since the war; certainly not since Steve brought him back to himself. And most of those that they have had have been here in Wakanda.

Whatever's brought Steve here tonight - and he doesn't for a single second believe that it's just a 'field trip' or that he was just in the neighborhood - he's grateful for it.

Shuri peals out a laugh, promising to help Wilson with all kinds of other music and to introduce Steve to 'memes' besides, and for a moment he and Steve catch each other's glance and grin, and everything else just peels away.

[from_the_outside]

He looks so happy, she thinks, and doesn't worry too much which man she's thinking it about, because it's true for both.

And not only them: they're all having a good time. She certainly is, to the point where it takes three jaw-cracking yawns in a row for her to realize that it's getting kind of late, and that she'd been up much earlier than usual for a more stressful morning than usual and topped it all off with more sun than she's gotten in a single day in...years, probably.

"I'm so sorry," she says, laughing at Shuri's mock-outrage (it was Shuri's story she'd accidentally yawned at). "I am fading fast." Standing up, she shakes her head and laughs when she yawns again. "It's past my bedtime. Goodnight, kids."

And...she wants to give Steve and Bucky as much time together as possible. Of course neither of them seem to mind being with everyone else, but...

Well, if she could have one more evening with Aunt Peggy, she's pretty sure she wouldn't want to share her the whole time.

[nerves_of_ice]

Steve stands as well, immediately.

"I'll walk you to your room," he says, and Bucky deliberately settles a little more deeply against the chair he'd finally slid the rest of the way into a while back.

Nakia glances at him, and he smiles at her, very slightly, almost unseen.

[from_the_outside]

She huffs a little laugh, but nods, capitulating. "Okay. Probably for the best. Very dangerous halls, here."

She lifts a hand to the group and tries not to read too much into Bucky's expression, then smiles at Steve when he gets the door for her. "What a gentleman," she says, and his laugh follows them out.

It's an easy, comfortable walk, and she can't help but think of London and Aunt Peggy's funeral, and two glasses of sauvignon blanc.

It feels like a lifetime ago.

He asks her about the last six weeks and she tells him without sugarcoating or too much detail, and he's genuinely pleased when she tells him about her first few days in Wakanda. "It's an amazing place," he says, sincerely. "And King T'Challa is a good man. A great man, even. I'm glad he's offered you a place here."

"Me too," she says, softly, and smiles at him when he offers her his arm.

Their steps slow a little as they near her room, and he begins to sound a little distracted, and she's not surprised at all when, once at her door, he hesitates.

Something's clearly on his mind; she just waits until he meets her eyes again with those earnest blue ones. "About...when we met you in Leipzig," he begins, and she nods. "When you dropped off the gear."

"I remember," she says, gently, and he chuckles, abashed.

"Sharon...I wanted to..." His gaze drops, then levels on her again. "When I kissed you goodbye."

"I remember that, too," she says, smiling slightly, and he laughs.

"Right."

[nerves_of_ice]

It's harder than Steve thought it would be, somehow. He's still not used to having this kind of a conversation, not with someone who matters like Sharon does. He probably never will be, and guesses that's just as well.

"Um," he starts. "It's just. I just, I wanted to--"

Ohhh, Carter's got a crush! Nat had exclaimed when he'd hung up the call two days ago and brought them up to speed. Sam's elbow to her ribs had been quick but not quick enough.

He'd given himself almost eight hours to think about it before he'd cornered her to ask if she was serious, and the better part of the day that followed to make up his mind.

"--apologize," he settles on, finally, and meets Sharon's eyes. "For being late. For..."

He's not sure he's ever felt this awkward, except maybe with Peggy, and well, that's part of it all, isn't it?

"... it was a really nice kiss. But."