[ WWII AU ] a ghost story

[from_the_outside]

It's been almost two years since she's been home, and little by little, the grief has gotten easier to live with.

It hasn't gone away. But she's able to focus on her job, watch movies, chat with friends, sleep most nights. She still dreams about him, but the dreams are tinged with wistful longing and only sometimes does she wake up with tears on her cheeks. She can't have his picture out in this apartment, Kate's apartment, but it's safe in the mountain house, along with his last letter to her, and she has a scan on her phone to look at when the long day is over and she's in bed, the stars from the lamp he'd given her filling her dark room.

Steve has helped, more than she could ever explain, and she hopes she's helped him in return. Aside from a few deeply classified missions here and there, they haven't worked together all that much, but she still sees him almost every day. In the halls, she's undercover as his mild-mannered neighbor, Kate, but in her secure apartment they can talk over anything, everything.

And it works. Every day is a little easier. They lean on each other when they need to, and they spend hours remembering and reminiscing about Bucky, talking shop, chatting about how Steve's fitting into the future. It's nice. She still misses Bucky, an ache that never really goes away, but they can both breathe through it, work through it, live through it.

She's on her way up from the basement laundry machines when she hears a familiar step in the hall, and has to smile to herself – first her own, then Kate's sweeter, more open one. "Hey, neighbor."

Comments

[from_the_outside]

"That's what the milk's for," she points out, but it lacks heat, as Steve chuckles and pours the scrambled liquid egg into the pan, where it starts cooking gently. Sharon settles onto a stool at the island and sighs into her coffee.

"Can't believe I'm gonna get bossed around by two of you now."

[nerves_of_ice]

The look that he gives her falls somewhere between uncertain and resigned. "I figure you give as good as you get."

He glances at Steve for confirmation. Or maybe backup.

[from_the_outside]

"Better than," Steve chuckles, meeting that glance with his own crinkled and laughing. Sharon rolls her eyes, but her mouth presses towards a hidden smile.

"You know, I was able to feed myself just fine before either of you came along."

[nerves_of_ice]

Without warning, he has a flash of memory that rolls over him like a wave.

—- seething blue light rolling away on the ground the sky opening a figure clad in skintight white —-

“… think you’re the one who came along,” he says, after a long moment. Bucky blinks repeatedly to clear his vision of remembered light.

[from_the_outside]

She and Steve both look at him, sharp, as he falls silent, as the look in his eyes turns inward, before he speaks again and they exchange a glance before Steve turns back to the eggs, making sure they don't burn.

"I did," Sharon murmurs, still focused on Bucky. "Did you remember something?"

[nerves_of_ice]

“The sky opened.” He looks up at her. “And you fell.”

[from_the_outside]

Her expression softens as Steve turns off the stove and starts parceling out eggs and toast onto plates. "Yeah, I did. Almost right onto your head."

[nerves_of_ice]

He nods. “Only I moved.”

It doesn’t sound like a question, but the next part is. “Did I bring you to Steve?”

[from_the_outside]

"No," Steve says, setting out plates and getting butter for the toast, before putting a hand on Bucky's back and guiding him to a seat. "I was with Phillips, though."

"You brought Aunt Peggy," Sharon tells Bucky, as she takes her own plate. "And she gave me a uniform to wear."

[nerves_of_ice]

He doesn’t resist, instead going where Steve directs with quiet compliance.

“Right,” he says slowly. “Instead of that white thing.”

[from_the_outside]

"My catsuit," she agrees, then grins. "For some reason you thought it might cause kind of a stir in the camp."

[nerves_of_ice]

He makes a skeptical sound in response. Steve sets the rest of their plates down and takes his own seat. “Get it while it’s hot,” he says, cheerfully.

Bucky nods but doesn’t touch the food until the others do.

[from_the_outside]

"Thanks for the eggs, Steve," Sharon tells him, as Steve slides onto a seat of his own, before she digs in. It doesn't escape her notice that Bucky doesn't eat until they do, and she packs it away to think about more later.

"Bucky," she murmurs, after a moment. "The letters you wrote, they're still here. You could read them, if you— if you're interested. They might jog some more memories."

[nerves_of_ice]

He takes a long swallow of coffee before he says anything.

“Do you want me to read them?”

[from_the_outside]

I want you to want to read them. She doesn't say it. It wouldn't help.

She toys with her eggs for a moment, instead, then nods. "I think it might be a good idea for you to go through everything we've got. Not just the letters."

[nerves_of_ice]

He thinks he sees a flicker in her glance. His answer must have been wrong, but he’s not sure why. Clearly she thinks it’s needed intelligence for him - and Steve, quietly observing while he makes inroads on breakfast, must agree - but isn’t it a violation of her privacy? Then again maybe it’s not since he wrote them originally. Or the man he was before the Winter Soldier did, anyway, the man who knew how to laugh and love and care and who never murdered any of his friends.

“Okay,” is all he says. “If you’re sure.”

[from_the_outside]

"I am." Does he remember writing the letters, does he remember anything about what they say? If it's possible for a ghost to keep fighting...

"Besides, they're your things."

[nerves_of_ice]

He frowns a little at that. “How can they be? I left them for you. Both of you. Didn’t I?”

[from_the_outside]

"But you wrote them," she points out. "And... at least one of those letters is one that came for you. You should get to see it."

Her heart's been breaking all over again for the Barnes sisters, for Bucky in front of her. They should have had the chance to grow old together.

[nerves_of_ice]

He opens his mouth to ask who it was from, only to go still as the display from the museum flashes behind his eyes.

“They’re all gone. Aren’t they.”

[from_the_outside]

Steve's hand stills, before he looks over at his best friend with deep sympathy and understanding in his eyes.

And pain. They were his family, too. "I'm sorry, Buck. Yes."

[nerves_of_ice]

He nods, and stares down at the plate in front of him.

It’s impossible to remember their faces, he finds. They all blur together in flashes.

[from_the_outside]

Steve and Sharon exchange a look, before she reaches out to gently curl her fingers over Bucky's still hand. "But you do have some family left," she murmurs. "And I don't just mean us. Becky had children. The others, too."

[nerves_of_ice]

His hand twitches under her gentle touch, and he looks up at her, then back and forth between them.

“Children?”

[from_the_outside]

"Yeah." Steve smiles at him.

"I've met most of them. You're an uncle, Bucky."