[oom] let me lead you to the promised land

[from_the_outside]

 It is intensely weird to step back through the door into the bright Wakandan afternoon, but the denizens of the strange-as-hell Bar at the End of the Universe were right: no time has passed at all.

She wishes it had. This just makes it seem even more impossible, a dream she can't begin to explain.

Bucky's had coffee and she's had wine and both of them are full of Sunshine's cinnamon rolls, which is all good except for how her go-to busywork of making coffee to give herself a second to think is even more unnecessary than usual. She goes into the hut to grab the wool throws instead, taking them over to the shade tree as her mind whirls.

There's a lot to take in. And a lot to think about.

"So," she says, once she's sat down. She loops her arms around her knees and studies him. 

"That was interesting."

Comments

[nerves_of_ice]

"Okay," he murmurs.

[from_the_outside]

She turns her hand under his to squeeze his fingers, and smiles a little before she draws her hand back.

"Like I said," she says. "It's got a lot going for it."

[nerves_of_ice]

He doesn't try to hold on. Bucky studies her face.

"So if it's not a problem... why does it bother you?"

[from_the_outside]

Her mouth twists a little and she leans her head on her hand again, looking a little past him as she thinks.

"I'm trying to figure out where I fit into it," she says, finally. "My mental geometry's all out of whack. I got used to you and me and Steve and it turns out it's more like you and me and Steve and a whole world of people I don't know, and it makes me think – why me?"

Ah. Okay. She's run herself aground but the sharp stab in her chest tells her she's at least found the thing that's bothering her. "I don't know why you might want board games with someone who makes you worried and fights with you when you've got all that."

She waves at the general direction of the door, an unhappy tilt to her mouth. "Or cheerful, beautiful pilots from World War II."

[nerves_of_ice]

"Because all that," he says, jerking his head toward the door, "isn't you."

There's an intensity to his tone as he continues. "You, who believes so much in doing what's right that you'll do whatever it takes, including putting yourself in the line of fire without hesitation. Who can play with children and treat them seriously at the same time without missing a beat. Who has spirit and stands up for herself and yes, can fight with someone and go toe to toe with them, and laugh and be gentle and care and --"

He breaks off there, shaking his head. "That's only part of who you are and why you mean so much to me. Sharon. You do."

[from_the_outside]

"So," she says, a long moment after this torrent, something sweet tucking into the corner of her mouth.

"You don't just like me because I'm the closest one around, huh? Or..."

Well, what the hell. In for a penny –

"Because I'm a little bit like Nat?"

It tries for teasing, but doesn't quite get there.

[nerves_of_ice]

"Sharon." He leans forward and reaches for her hand. "I like you because you're you."

He meets her eyes without evasion. "You're not a substitute for Natasha."

[from_the_outside]

His hand in hers is nice; she curls her fingers around his. "Okay," she says, simple.

After all, he doesn't lie to her.

A faint, crooked smile tugs at one corner of her mouth. "But does everyone there have a crush on you, or...?"

This time she really is teasing.

[nerves_of_ice]

He rolls his eyes.

"No. And don't start."

[from_the_outside]

"Oh, come on," she says, laughing.

"The literal Devil wants to get in your pants, you've got to let me have that one."

[nerves_of_ice]

"You did notice that he made a pass at you, too, right?"

[from_the_outside]

She waves that aside, amused.

"That's beside the point."

[nerves_of_ice]

Bucky gives her an exasperated look.

[from_the_outside]

She grins and pushes herself forward onto her hands and knees to kiss him lightly.

"You said you like me," she reminds him. "No takebacks."

[nerves_of_ice]

“No takebacks,” he agrees, and kisses her again.

[from_the_outside]

One of her hands comes up to lightly cup his cheek and she kisses him back before settling back on her knees.

"But he's definitely into that detective, right?" she says, amused. "I hope someone, somewhere, is getting that poor woman a strong drink."

[nerves_of_ice]

“Or several. If nothing else, I guess his club can provide it.”

[from_the_outside]

"I guess that's true."

She glances down and, after a second, reaches to take his hand in hers again. "I did like it," she tells him. "And I'm really glad you wanted to share it with me."

[nerves_of_ice]

"I did," he murmurs, watching her. "And I'm glad to hear it."

[from_the_outside]

She strokes her thumb over the backs of his knuckles, watching him back.

"You're not sorry you brought me, are you?"

[nerves_of_ice]

“No.” He answers without hesitation.

[from_the_outside]

"Okay, good."

But something is clearly not quite right, and she studies his face. "Are you worried about something?"

[nerves_of_ice]

“Not really,” he says, after a moment’s thought.

“I just hoped it would be a pleasant surprise, is all.”

[from_the_outside]

She gives him a rueful look. "Sorry," she says, genuinely apologetic. "I wish I were better with surprises. But it was a really nice thought."

Sharon lifts his hand to press a kiss to his palm. "I promise next time I'll enjoy it more. Now that I know what to expect."

[nerves_of_ice]

“I’ll remember that,” he promises, turning his hand to cradle her cheek for a moment. “It’s okay, really.”