[AU] there's grief of Want and grief of Cold

[from_the_outside]

She sleeps later than she had the day before – a combination of not having to get up and go to the doctor and exhaustion – and when she comes downstairs, the house is quiet but coffee is already made. After making herself a cup, she pads barefoot to the door and steps out into the crisp mountain morning.

She's unsurprised to see that Bucky is up, and to find Steve's motorcycle gone from the driveway. "Steve head out already?"

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[nerves_of_ice]

He’s waiting in the hall outside her room when she comes out, his pack slung on his back.

[from_the_outside]

She's got her own backpack slung over her right shoulder, her phone in her hand, and she pauses in the hall to look up at him.

"Bucky, I'm sorry," she says, soft. "I promised you would be safe here and you weren't. That's on me."

Her free hand makes an abortive move towards him, then fists and drops to her side. "I'm not going to screw this up, too. It's going to be okay."

[nerves_of_ice]

“It’s not on you. I’m fine,” he says, quiet and clear. “He must have tracked Steve somehow. It’ll be okay, Sharon.”

[from_the_outside]

Her mouth presses, but she doesn't say anything else, just looks at him for a second longer before turning and heading down the stairs and out the door to follow Tony goddamn Stark to New York.

[marvel_npc]

“Friday, take a note on driveway repair,” he’s saying when the two of them step out of the house. Carter locks up and gives him an unfriendly look; Barnes doesn’t seem to be feeling anything for all he can tell.

Maybe brainwashing makes you a robot in more than one way. “Took you long enough. You know the way to the compound or you need directions?”

He can afford to be magnanimous. Sort of.

[from_the_outside]

"Just give me the address," she says, flat. "I'll put it into Google Maps."

[marvel_npc]

He rattles it off and snaps down his visor. “Meet you in the air in five. I can track the cloak, so don’t get cute.”

[from_the_outside]

She stands, fuming, in the drive as he spreads his palms to the ground and takes off in a blaze of light and sound.

"I don't like him," she says, and stalks off along the trail that leads to the Quinjet.

[nerves_of_ice]

“Makes two of us. But Steve must see something in him.”

He keeps his head turned to track Stark’s progress through the sky as they head for the jet.

[from_the_outside]

Steve sees something in everybody.

It wouldn't help, so she doesn't say it, just lapses into silence until they reach the Quinjet and she can enter the code that unlocks it.

As she sits back down in the pilot's seat and begins warming the engines up, she glances at him. "Speaking of Steve, we should probably give him a heads up."

[nerves_of_ice]

He shakes his head, taking the copilot’s seat beside her. “They’re in the middle of the op. We can tell him when he calls to check in.”

[from_the_outside]

She doesn't look happy, but she doesn't argue.

"Fine," she says, as the Quinjet lifts off and she sets a course.

(Only the thought that he might actually attack keeps her from painting Stark with a targeting laser once they're in the air, simply out of spite.)

"But I'm letting Fury know."

[nerves_of_ice]

He watches as Stark takes up an escort position, clearly intending to make sure they don’t make a break for it.

“Okay.”

Try though he might, he can’t keep from sounding weary.

[from_the_outside]

She uses the Quinjet's communications to message Fury. It's impossible to say whether she feels sick to her stomach from anger, guilt, worry, or the out-going tide of adrenaline, but she definitely doesn't feel great.

So she opens a channel to Iron Man. Instead of saying anything, though, she connects it to a looped audio file without a shred of guilt.

It makes her feel a tiny bit better.

[nerves_of_ice]

Another channel crackles to life. “Cute,” Stark says. “Real cute.”

Bucky glances sideways at her.

[from_the_outside]

"Oh, right," she says, seemingly to the air. "He said don't be cute."

Well, she can't help it.

[nerves_of_ice]

“Are you always this much of a pleasure to work with?”

Bucky transfers his flat stare to the console.

[from_the_outside]

She slants a slightly wary glance at him.

"I don't know. I haven't exactly taken a poll."

[nerves_of_ice]

“Don’t bother,” Stark advises.

“Did you need something?” Bucky asks, levelly.

“Your head on a pike, but we’ll pencil that in for later,” Stark tells him.

[from_the_outside]

"Look at that," Sharon says, dry. "You just lost speaking privileges."

She flips a few switches and fiddles with the Quinjet's communications controls to jam Stark's signal. He could hack through, of course, but she'd just block him again. It'll really come down to which one of them is more stubborn, and she's still betting on herself.

[nerves_of_ice]

He waits, but Stark’s evidently not inclined to hack in just to poke at them. Then again, why should he be? They’re headed for what’s basically his stronghold, where he’ll be able to poke all he wants.

He sighs, long and slow, and looks over at Sharon.

“Before I forget. The next time he’s powering up to take a shot at me, how about you don’t throw yourself into the actual line of fire?”

[from_the_outside]

She frowns.

"I'm not going to promise that."

It was a risk, sure, but a calculated one. Stark is an Avenger; whatever his feelings about Bucky, he wasn't going to go through her to get to him.

[nerves_of_ice]

He gives her a flat look of disbelief.

“Sharon.”

[from_the_outside]

"Bucky." She mirrors his tone and his expression, both.

"No."

[nerves_of_ice]

“Just so you know,” he says, after several seconds of fuming silence. “I meant what I told him.”