[ Leipzig AU ] forgive my grief for one removed

[from_the_outside]

The cathedral is beautiful. It's filling to the brim with people dressed in black, with flowers, with music. Sharon waits back near the altar, dry-eyed and pale, not a hair out of place as she accepts condolences and murmurs her thank yous.

So many people loved Aunt Peggy. She meant so much, to so many.

Sharon thinks it'll help, eventually, to remember that. Right now it just makes her terribly, terribly sad. So she smiles gently and speaks warmly and keeps her hands clasped before herself, every inch the polite and centered niece, and everyone who leaves her leaves feeling a little comforted in their own grief.

He's here somewhere, she knows: Bucky, up aloft in the bell walkway or the choir loft or crouched like a gargoyle in an alcove somewhere. She can't see him, but she knows he's there, can still feel the way he'd held her when she let him into the hotel room after she arrived.

The organist is playing something lovely and somber, and people are filing into their seats. She takes a last glance at the spot where the coffin will rest, surrounded by flowers, and moves off to the side to wait.

Comments

[marvel_npc]

Steve's hands tighten on Bucky's shoulders. "He's never going to get the chance to use them," he says, intent. "We foiled him today and he won't get another chance. But, Buck – you're not going to be able to come with us when we got to intercept him. You know that. I can't risk it."

[nerves_of_ice]

He struggles with it, visibly, before defeat shows on his face and in the way his shoulders slump.

"It wouldn't take long," he admits. "There's only ten words. Thirty seconds, maybe, and then I'd be his weapon."

[marvel_npc]

"I won't risk it," Steve reiterates. "I won't risk you. You'll help in other ways. Just like today."

[nerves_of_ice]

Bucky nods. "Your call, Cap."

[marvel_npc]

"And once we take care of Zemo and everything else," Steve promises, "we'll find a way to get those controls out of your head. For good."

[nerves_of_ice]

He just shakes his head. Steve means it, he knows, but it's not like they're some kind of tumor that could be cut away.

"First things first," he says, and leaves it at that.

[marvel_npc]

"Right."

He squeezes Bucky's shoulders once more. "So please come eat. You gotta take care of yourself. And then let's get some rest, okay?"

[nerves_of_ice]

He shakes his head again. "I'll eat. But then I have to check on Sharon."

[marvel_npc]

"Really."

Steve's moving back to his chair; as he sits, his eyebrows press up toward his hairline. "There's something going on with you two, isn't there?"

[nerves_of_ice]

What's left of his coffee has gone cool. Bucky pours another half-cup and takes it back to rejoin Steve at the table.

"Yeah," he admits, without trying to evade it. "It's pretty recent, but yeah, there is."

[marvel_npc]

Steve nods and forks up another mouthful of food. "Well, good for you both," he says, supportively.

"Just... please be careful. I'm sure the Task Force would get kind of jittery if you get caught sneaking out."

[nerves_of_ice]

"I'm sure they would," he says, dry as dust. "So I won't give them the chance."

He's quiet for a few moments, concentrating on the meal, before he murmurs, "You know, she was trying to get me to contact you. Before."

[marvel_npc]

"Really."

Steve looks a little guilty as he finishes his plate of food and reaches for his coffee. "I... got a little snappy with her about not telling me," he admits. "I guess I should apologize."

[nerves_of_ice]

"Might be nice." He tips back another swallow of coffee. "She's had a pretty rotten day. So have you, for that matter. Make that a pretty rotten few weeks."

[marvel_npc]

Steve's chuckle is very wry.

"Pal," he says, "I'm pretty sure we all have. But I will. Next time I see her."

[nerves_of_ice]

Bucky gives him a rueful look, but doesn't argue the point. He finishes off his food, then washes it down with the last of his coffee and tips his head toward the window.

"I'll go out over the roof," he says. "Leave it cracked open for me and that'll make it easier to get back in."

[marvel_npc]

"You got it," Steve says, and picks up their dishes to wash in the little kitchenette.

"But if you get back late, try not to wake me up, huh?"

[nerves_of_ice]

That flicker of a smile flashes again, this time quick and bright.

"I'll be silent as a ghost."

[from_the_outside]

It's been such a long day.

She'd slept for part of it: not on purpose, just fell asleep on the couch while watching the news continue to try and figure out what happened and what will happen next. She'd tried reading, she'd tried killing time with a stupid matching game on her phone.

But the hours have just dragged, so it's a relief to watch the sun disappear behind the city rooftops and to see the stars come out.

It means Bucky will be here soon. And despite everything, she can't wait.

[nerves_of_ice]

He's cautious when climbing up the side of the Task Force Center, and even more so as he makes his way across the city, trying to ensure that there's no chance he's been either detected or followed. He's certain that he's clear when he finally scales the path to Sharon's building and crawls through the subfloor maintenance vents to reach the one that opens to the outside just above her bedroom window.

It's the work of a few moments to trip the latch and counterweight, swinging the window open and dropping lightly to the floor inside.

[from_the_outside]

The television is on, but quietly, and she startles from where she's sitting on the couch, blinking into awareness.

Quietly she slips off the seat and pads towards her bedroom, nudging the door open warily until she sees him. "Bucky," she says, relief and longing and sadness and worry all rushing through her at once.

A second later, she's pushing her way over to him, desperate to be in his arms.

[nerves_of_ice]

He meets her halfway, wrapping his arms around her and pulling her in, holding her close.

"I'm here, baby. I'm here."

[from_the_outside]

She holds him tightly, then pulls back to look at him, her hands at his sides as she searches his face. "Are you okay?"

[nerves_of_ice]

He nods, but admits, "Better now." Bucky studies her as she's studying him.

"Are you?"

[from_the_outside]

"Better now," she agrees.

"I'm sorry I couldn't – I didn't – "

She wets her lips and shakes her head. "I didn't want to give Ross any more ammunition. I hope you know how much I wanted to..."

Touch him. Hold him. Comfort him as much as she might have been able to do. "But I had to be professional."