[AU] How much - how little - is within our power

[from_the_outside]

 "No," says Sharon, for what feels like the thousandth time. "That's not acceptable."

The rest of the flight had been uneventful, and once they landed she'd been grimly unsurprised to see that Stark had sent Happy Hogan, his erstwhile chauffeur, to guide them to the apartment they've been assigned. Stark himself had apparently gone somewhere to get out of his armor, somewhat mollified by having gotten them here and under his thumb.

Except Sharon won't stop kicking up a fuss.

Hogan stares at her as she inspects each corner of the apartment. "I can't cut these rooms off from the central security protocols," he says, slowly, like he thinks she's just misheard him.

"Well, you can," she tells him. "Or I can force a cascade in a couple load-bearing subroutines that will shut the whole damn thing down. It's your choice."

Comments

[nerves_of_ice]

His full attention swings to Sharon in an instant, even as he sees Steve shift in his seat. He cuts him off before he can speak.

"That's not what I meant." He manages to keep it level, while inwardly yelling at himself. Lock it down, Barnes! They're putting everything on the line for you, so just lock it down right the hell now!

Bucky draws a quick breath, yanking himself back under tight, taut control. "I apologize," he offers, carefully. "I know you're doing everything you can. Both of you. I'm sorry."

[from_the_outside]

"There's nothing to apologize for," Steve says, quickly. "If you don't want to talk to a doctor, I won't make you. And I'll make sure the Task Force doesn't, either. You still have rights."

Sharon says nothing; what could she possibly offer? The position she's in is a bad one, and she put herself there. She can't meet their eyes, either of them; she focuses on the floor instead.

If she looks up, if she speaks, she's going to have to do exactly what she warned Bucky she would have to do, what he knows she has to do. And she doesn't want to. Not yet.

[nerves_of_ice]

"Not really," he says, turning to Steve. "Not as the Winter Soldier, I don't. Not when it comes to something like that."

He shakes his head at his best friend. "It's okay," Bucky promises him, but what he's saying is meant for them both. "Save the fight for when it really matters. This is fine. It just caught me by surprise, is all."

[from_the_outside]

Steve brushes this aside with customary optimism, and Sharon wonders, a little uncomfortably, if Tony's not correct in his assertion that Steve can't be neutral about Bucky.

"Maybe not," Steve's saying. "But you do as Bucky Barnes. You're still an American citizen and a soldier; that doesn't mean nothing."

"Actually, a psych eval might help with that," Sharon says, finally offering up an opinion. "It can help draw the line between you and the Winter Soldier. I know that's you, too," she adds, forestalling his usual argument, "but there's no doubt you aren't under your own control when activated. Intention goes right out the window."

Her gaze meets his steady one and flickers; maybe they should have held off, after all. She can't imagine how or why he could want her when she's going to be the instrument of so much pain and struggle.

[nerves_of_ice]

"If you think it'll help," he says, quietly. "Although I'd like -- I think it'd be a bad idea to hand over the control words so that they can evaluate me in both states. For more than one reason."

[from_the_outside]

"We're not giving anyone the control words," Sharon says, a little more sharply than she'd meant.

"It would be cruel to you and beyond irresponsible of us. It's too much of a risk."

[nerves_of_ice]

"Besides," Steve puts in, "if we need it at some point, I can speak to the difference between when you're yourself and when you're activated. Sam can, too, and Nat."

"I'd be more worried about the risk," Bucky tells Sharon, point-blank. "But okay."

[from_the_outside]

Of course he is. And he's right, probably; the risk is far too great.

"Bad enough that we have to even let some people know that the words exist," she says. "Giving anyone the actual words themselves would only bite us in the ass down the line."

[nerves_of_ice]

Very, very wearily, Bucky says, "Let's hope Zemo doesn't figure that out."

[from_the_outside]

"Yeah," Sharon sighs. "He's going to be a problem. And if he thinks he can make a bargain by offering the words..."

Well, he could. Not with Fury, and not with Ross either, she's sure, but that doesn't mean everyone in power and with access to him will be so conscientious.

[nerves_of_ice]

Bucky shrugs. "There's also a chance he's not the only one out there who knows them, too," he points out. "You both have to assume that's going to be a factor in play with whatever comes."

He sees Steve's expression set in lines of determination and meets his eyes. "You have to. I can't tell you what it means that you don't feel that way. But you have to accept that most people who've heard of the Winter Soldier don't give a damn about Bucky Barnes."

His coffee's gone cold, and he'd lost interest in it a while ago anyway. Bucky gets up and takes it to the sink, pouring it down the drain, and drops the cup in the recycling bin before he rejoins them.

[from_the_outside]

"They'll care," Steve says, stubbornly. "Nobody could hear your story and not care. And besides, I'm going to do everything I can to get you a pardon."

Sharon glances at him, her own expression carefully set; he's really latched onto that idea, considering she'd floated it only half an hour or so ago. "We'll take every precaution we can until we're sure Zemo's the only one who knows them," she says.

"But you're right. We have to assume he isn't."

[nerves_of_ice]

Bucky stares at Steve in surprise. "A pardon? You really think anyone'd go for that?"

He looks at Sharon for her opinion too, trying to read her expression.

[from_the_outside]

"Yes, I do," Steve says, firmly. Seeing the way Bucky's gaze shifts, he adds: "It was Sharon's idea."

She looks back at Bucky and nods, though her own expression a little less optimistic. "There's no reason to think they wouldn't," she says. "It would solve a lot of problems, and not just yours. I'm sure it would come with conditions, but... yeah, I think it's possible."

[nerves_of_ice]

He can't absorb it. Even the idea seems unreal.

"Oh," he says, a little blankly. After a second, Bucky shakes his head, like a duck shaking off water, trying to clear his mind of the whirling confusion.

"Sounds like you talked through a lot of things." He manages a small, rueful smile.

[from_the_outside]

"There's something else," she says, quietly.

He's expecting it as much as she was, she knows, but that doesn't make it any easier to hear.

"Ross wants me back in Berlin to spearhead the investigation. He's amenable to letting me come back here after, as liaison, but I have no idea how long that might take."

[nerves_of_ice]

"...oh," he says again, and glances at Steve. "Liaison, huh? That'll be helpful."

Bucky turns back to Sharon and adds, quietly, "Of course he does. But everything else is okay, given your, uh, unexpected leave?"

[from_the_outside]

Her throat is tight as she meets his glance; she just nods.

"He was a little frustrated," Steve admits, "but willing to work with us."

[nerves_of_ice]

"That's something," he agrees. "That's a lot."

He glances back and forth between them again before settling on Sharon.

"When do you have to head back?"

[from_the_outside]

"Sometime tomorrow, at the latest," she says, watching him back.

"Before 48 hours."

[nerves_of_ice]

"At least it's not that long a flight," Steve says, and Bucky tears his gaze away from Sharon to nod at him. "Right. Seven hours or so, I think?" A little dryly, he adds, "It's been a while since I took a direct route anywhere, until recently."

He glances back at Sharon. "So, not so bad." He tries very hard to keep his tone light and reassuring.

[from_the_outside]

"I thought I'd take the Quinjet Fury loaned me," she says. "It'll be even more direct, and faster."

And easier to get back here, too, though she doesn't say that aloud.

It's an effort to pull her gaze from Bucky to look at Steve. "Unless you think you'll need it."

[nerves_of_ice]

Steve shakes his head immediately. "No, we'll be fine. We have one of our own and a few other options if we need anything like that." He smiles; it's warm and pleased. "Thanks, though."

"Hopefully you've got somewhere to park it at the JTTF," Bucky says. "Because I think you're right, it'll help to have access to something like that - as long as Fury lets you keep it, anyway."

[from_the_outside]

"There's a helicopter pad on the top of the main building," Sharon says.

"I can keep it there. Pretty sure my landlord wouldn't be happy with me landing it on my apartment building," she adds, rueful.

[nerves_of_ice]

"I can just see that," Steve chuckles. "The helicopter pad's a better bet."

Bucky nods.