[ WWII AU ] a ghost story

[from_the_outside]

It's been almost two years since she's been home, and little by little, the grief has gotten easier to live with.

It hasn't gone away. But she's able to focus on her job, watch movies, chat with friends, sleep most nights. She still dreams about him, but the dreams are tinged with wistful longing and only sometimes does she wake up with tears on her cheeks. She can't have his picture out in this apartment, Kate's apartment, but it's safe in the mountain house, along with his last letter to her, and she has a scan on her phone to look at when the long day is over and she's in bed, the stars from the lamp he'd given her filling her dark room.

Steve has helped, more than she could ever explain, and she hopes she's helped him in return. Aside from a few deeply classified missions here and there, they haven't worked together all that much, but she still sees him almost every day. In the halls, she's undercover as his mild-mannered neighbor, Kate, but in her secure apartment they can talk over anything, everything.

And it works. Every day is a little easier. They lean on each other when they need to, and they spend hours remembering and reminiscing about Bucky, talking shop, chatting about how Steve's fitting into the future. It's nice. She still misses Bucky, an ache that never really goes away, but they can both breathe through it, work through it, live through it.

She's on her way up from the basement laundry machines when she hears a familiar step in the hall, and has to smile to herself – first her own, then Kate's sweeter, more open one. "Hey, neighbor."

Comments

[from_the_outside]

She puts her arms around him and presses her forehead into the curve of his neck and shoulder.

"Then I'm going to get you more," she murmurs. "Fucking watch me, Barnes."

[nerves_of_ice]

"I believe you." He does, and it gives him cause to worry about her and Steve both, but that's something best dealt with in the clear light of day. For now, he holds her close.

[from_the_outside]

"Good." Her fingers grip into his shirt, but she has to try to let go. For his sake. For her sake. Doesn't she?

"Weren't we saying goodnight?"

[nerves_of_ice]

"We were." He presses a gentle kiss to her hair, then pulls back and looks down at her. "You need sleep."

[from_the_outside]

"I know."

Stay with me batters at the back of her teeth, but she swallows it. He needs sleep, too, and if he couldn't even manage it with Steve in the room, she doubts he could with her there.

They'll have time. She has to believe that. Whatever it brings. She breathes deep and just a little shaky and looks back up at him. "Then goodnight. Again."

[nerves_of_ice]

"Good night," he murmurs. "Again. Get some rest, angel."

He loosens his hold enough that she can step away from him, but doesn't move.

[from_the_outside]

Angel shivers through her, sweet and wistful, and she takes a deep breath. "You too, sweetheart."

She can't resist, leans up to give him one last gentle kiss, then steps away before either of them can lose themselves in it again. "I'll see you in the morning."

[nerves_of_ice]

"See you in the morning," he murmurs, and finally takes a step back toward the door of the room he's borrowed. He makes himself go inside and close the door, then leans against it and stares into space, trying to absorb everything this day's held.

[from_the_outside]

Her room feels strange, too small and too large and too silent all at once, and it's all she can do to keep from going back down the hall to knock on Bucky's door.

Instead, she lights the little lamp and takes off her robe, then gets back into bed and turns onto her side to look at his picture, smiling back at her. "Good night," she murmurs, again, before rolling over and doing her best to sleep.