[oom] all those times we looked up at the sky

[from_the_outside]

Karli's on the move; she'll strike soon. Bucky and Sam have been in long, tense conversations with each other and with Torres, and she herself has been keeping an obsessive eye on the tracker blip that is Batroc.

It's a lot. The air in the apartment is tense. But she still has to laugh at the sight that greets her when she walks into the living room: Bucky crouched down, his phone out as he takes a photo of Alpine, who is lounging in lazy grandeur, soaking up a puddle of sunshine.

"That'll be a good one," she approves. "Baby, I've been wondering – what happened to your nice camera? You didn't leave it in Wakanda, did you?"

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[nerves_of_ice]

He tips his head, leaning into her touch.

"I love you too," he whispers. "I'm yours as long as you'll have me. I want you to stay, too."

[from_the_outside]

Her smile flickers, fragile at the edges. "I will," she murmurs, and leans to kiss him, slow and lingering. When it breaks, her breath shakes a little. "I'll stay with you."

[nerves_of_ice]

He makes an oddly stifled sound and buries his face in her hair, holding her just this side of too tight.

[from_the_outside]

"Sweetheart," she murmurs, and makes soft comforting sounds, letting him hold her as close and as tight as he needs, her hand on his hair.

"I'm here. You have me."

[nerves_of_ice]

"Don't leave." Barely a breath of sound, as though he's fighting himself to even say the words.

"You said I could -- if I had before, if he knew, maybe Steve wouldn't, wouldn't have..."

The words crack open and bleed in his throat, or so it feels.

"So I'm asking you. So you'll know. Don't leave me. Please."

[from_the_outside]

"Oh, God."

It tears out of her at the pain in his voice, at the way he struggles to say those words. "I won't. I won't, Bucky."

She pulls back and ducks her head to meet his eyes, her own brimming as her heart breaks, as it rages against Steve, as it yearns desperately for the man in her arms. "I promise," she says, holding his gaze, willing him to believe her. "I'm not going to leave you. I won't. Not again. Never again."

[nerves_of_ice]

Bucky searches her face until his vision blurs, softening every line of her.

He has to believe her. He has to. Things are different now than before, aren't they? Maybe it'll be enough, even if he's not.

Slowly, he nods.

[from_the_outside]

"I won't leave you," she promises again, softly, and reaches to cradle his face in both her hands, gentle. "I want to be here with you. I need you, Bucky."

[nerves_of_ice]

He closes his eyes, letting himself just feel her touch.

"I love you so much," he whispers. "I need you too."

[from_the_outside]

"You've got me." She leans to nudge her forehead against his, then shifts to settle into his lap.

"I'm all in, Barnes. I have been since I followed you to Wakanda."

[nerves_of_ice]

"That long, huh?" He gathers her close, cradling her against him.

[from_the_outside]

"What can I say?"

She curls against him, letting him hold her as closely as he wants. "When I make up my mind, I make up my mind."

[nerves_of_ice]

He huffs a soft breath that might almost be a laugh.

"Pretty stubborn."

[from_the_outside]

"Only pretty stubborn?" she teases, hoping for a stronger laugh, a flicker of a smile.

"I must be losing my touch."

[nerves_of_ice]

One corner of his mouth quirks upward. "Maybe you're just out of practice."

[from_the_outside]

"Hmm." She slides closer, wrapping her arms around his neck. "Maybe."

Sharon kisses him again, slow and sweet and lingering, then once more. "I love you so much," she whispers. There had been so many years when she couldn't tell him so; she has so much lost time to make up. "When I saw you again, it felt like I was breathing for the first time in five and a half years."

[nerves_of_ice]

"I could have sworn I smelled your perfume in the Bronze Monkey," he tells her, running one hand slowly up and down her back. He kisses her again, and then again.

"I thought I was losing my mind. And then when I saw you...."

[from_the_outside]

"You did," she tells him, and kisses him back. She still wears it, still has a small bottle left, even now: honeysuckle and clover, sun-warmed grass.

"For a second I thought you'd seen me in the bar, before I slipped away."

[nerves_of_ice]

"Wait." He frowns a little, trying to remember. "That was you? The - your hood was up," he says. "The shadow that slipped away right before Zemo started his routine. That was you."

Bucky kisses her again, then again, and bites her lip for her the way she usually does, teasing her.

"Sneaky of you."

[from_the_outside]

"That was me."

She smiles at his teasing, then more ruefully at the memory. She'd been so furious, snapping and hurt and lashing out like a caged, feral animal. She'd put them through so much. "I couldn't have let you three see me then."

[nerves_of_ice]

“But then you watched over us,” he points out. “Our guardian angel.”

[from_the_outside]

"Well, I couldn't let you get murdered in Madripoor, either."

Zemo, maybe. Bucky would have been fine. But Sam? It was like throwing a steak to wild dogs.

[nerves_of_ice]

A small shudder runs through him, and he holds her a little closer against him. Sometimes he dreams of seeing the sniper’s shadow and not following, and never knowing, going back to a world without Sharon—

He lowers his face to her hair and breathes in her scent. “Thank you,” he whispers. “For helping, sure, but…for letting us know it was you.”

[from_the_outside]

He curls around her and holds her close, like she's a precious, fragile treasure, and she closes her eyes, just breathing. "I almost didn't."

It's a whisper of a confession. Her hands are gentle on him as she says it.

[nerves_of_ice]

"I suspected." His breath barely stirs her hair.

"But you did. And I'll be grateful for that for the rest of my life."