[ WWII AU ] what a night to go dreaming

[from_the_outside]

There's no doubt that things have shifted, a little, since the day they spent tangled up together in that sun-dappled cottage, tucked away in the trees behind the nearby town. The other Howling Commandos have, seemingly by silent agreement, stopped flirting so outrageously with her, though she's caught Jim and Gabe giving Bucky more than one fondly exasperated glance. She still dances with all of them, and enjoys their company, but they yield the floor to Bucky at the end of the night, and he's the one who, as she said she wanted, walks her back to her tent. 

And then there are their rendezvous' out in the field, where she still checks, each night, for a portal opening in the air. It never comes, but she spends hours there with him, walking and laughing and dancing under the starlight, stealing every moment they can together.

Aunt Peggy says nothing, but Sharon knows she can tell things have changed. There's a worried frown that lives between her brows, but she doesn't forbid her niece to see Steve's best friend, knowing it would only backfire.

Other things change not at all... like the morning tests Howard still makes them do. They're nearing the end of the sequence today, and she lets go of Bucky when Howard tells her to, careful not to linger. It's difficult to say what Stark thinks of his findings; he mutters to himself and snaps at his assistants, but all she can glean from it is that the resonance is still fading at a regular rate from her cells.

But none of them know why.

Comments

[from_the_outside]

The generators scream and burst. Stark is swearing. She can see nothing aside from the glare of electricity, until with a wail, the last generator burns out.

There's a moment of silence, and then Steve calls out, followed shortly by Bucky, and though he calls for her, Sharon can't bring herself to answer. Or – not that, exactly. She can't answer. Hope had burned as brightly as that surge in her chest... and then nothing had happened.

It hadn't worked.

She swallows, hard, as the seconds tick by. She can't see him or Steve or Aunt Peggy or Stark, but as her eyes adjust, she can see the stars once more. She can smell the grass of the field, the cool night breeze.

"Here," she says, finally, her voice ruthlessly level. "Still here."

[nerves_of_ice]

“Howard?” Peggy says, crisply. “Stop swearing and tell us what’s next.”

“Next is that we go back to London and I see what I can do in my workshop,” Stark snaps. “There’s nothing else to be done here. We threw everything at it that we could. I need better equipment, better facilities, and more data.”

Bucky scrubs his eyes to clear them and trades a grim look with Steve. Peggy turns to Sharon. “Let’s get you out of these things,” she says, softly.

[from_the_outside]

London.

Away from the field, away from any lingering tear in time and space. She's silent as Stark's techs buzz around her like bees, removing the wires and equipment. Aunt Peggy's shape is ghostlike in the dark as her eyes adjust to the lack of light.

She doesn't dare look at Bucky, only nods to her aunt. "Probably a good idea," she says, still keeping her voice carefully level.

It didn't work. And, for the first time, she allows herself to wonder if something happened, back home. If her traveling through time wasn't the only problem that came with working with the cube.

Maybe there isn't anything left there to return to.

[nerves_of_ice]

“We’ll walk you back,” Steve offers. Bucky nods, finally stepping free of wires and monitors and scrap metal and mess.

“All of you go ahead,” Stark says. “Me and the guys need to take some measurements before we clean up.”

[from_the_outside]

"Thank you, Captain," Aunt Peggy says, and Sharon feels her aunt's hand gentle against her arm. "Come along, dear."

Sharon steps out of the circle of wires – the grass is burned and dead where they'd touched, she notices – and goes where Aunt Peggy guides her. Once they're close enough, she studies Bucky, worry pounding dully through her chest. He hadn't sounded distressed, but – "Are you okay?" she asks him, once they're close enough.

It's easier to focus on him than on her own roiling thoughts. "Did you get zapped?"

[nerves_of_ice]

“I’m okay,” he promises. “Not even singed.”

It’s slowly sinking in that she’s still here, she’s still here, with everything that means. He’s not sure what to think or how to let himself feel, and can only stare at her.

[from_the_outside]

"Good," she says, soft. Aunt Peggy is protective at her side and Steve's at Bucky's other shoulder, but whether by design or luck they've let the two of them walk next to each other. Sharon looks back over at him, meeting his glance, and smiles, crooked and more than a little wry.

"Hey."

[nerves_of_ice]

“Hi,” he murmurs. Bucky takes a careful breath. “Don’t worry. We’ll keep trying,” he promises. “We’ll find a way.”

[from_the_outside]

“There might not be a way, Bucky.”

She doesn’t care if Aunt Peggy hears her call him by his name. It’s the first time she’s allowed herself to say it out loud, and it’s taking up all the space in her head and chest, like a swarm of bees.

Her voice is steady as she stares at the path ahead of them. “If they could get me back, they’d have done it already.”

[nerves_of_ice]

“Just give them more time. Or us, even. Once we take that cube away from Schmidt, that’ll help, if Stark hasn’t figured out something before then.”

Bucky throws a desperate look at Steve. “Right?”

[from_the_outside]

"Right," Steve says, instantly, solid and dependable, and Sharon just feels so damn tired. She can't drum up the optimism that never runs dry for Steve Rogers, and she doesn't want them to throw any more of that blue light at Bucky in the name of getting her home.

She looks up at the sky. Where the hell are you, Nick?

"Well, it will all have to wait," Aunt Peggy says, practically. "We'll need to start packing for our return to London shortly."

[nerves_of_ice]

Steve nods at Peggy. “In a couple of days,” he tells them. “As soon as the route’s confirmed clear.”

Bucky nods. He’d give a lot to be able to put his arm around Sharon right now, but settles for walking a little closer, steady at her side.

[from_the_outside]

What will she do, if she can't go home? Is there a life she can make here? Won't that screw with the timeline even more than spilling secrets of the future might?

She feels a breath of warmth at her side and looks over to see Bucky's shifted a bit closer. She gives him a flicker of a smile as they make their way into the edge of the camp. "... be ready," Aunt Peggy's saying, as Sharon tunes back in again. She's not sure what her aunt had been saying, but she guesses it must be about the trip to London.

"Aunt Peggy," she says, and her aunt glances over at her. "I'll drop these things by your tent in a minute, okay?"

She just needs a few moments alone. And then, maybe, to steal a few with Bucky.

[nerves_of_ice]

“Of course,” Peggy says, a hint of something softer in her customarily brisk tone. “Take your time.”

Bucky flicks a glance at Steve, who nods to him and says, “I need to check in with Colonel Phillips. He’s waiting to hear the outcome. If you’ll excuse me?”

[from_the_outside]

Sharon reaches to put her hand around Aunt Peggy's arm a moment and smiles at her. "Thanks," she murmurs, before she nods to Steve.

"Captain. Thank you, too. All of you," she adds, including Bucky in her glance. "For everything."

[nerves_of_ice]

“It’s no trouble,” promises Steve. Bucky nods. “What Cap says. You’re welcome, but it’s no trouble at all. We’re glad to help.”

[from_the_outside]

She nods back and glances at Aunt Peggy, then turns her steps towards her own tent, slowly enough that she could be followed, if someone wanted to join her.

If not, she'll look for him later.

[nerves_of_ice]

Bucky trades a look with Peggy Carter, who presses her lips together before giving a short, sharp nod. He nods back and leaves her with Steve, following Sharon.

“Mind if I see you the rest of the way?” he murmurs.

[from_the_outside]

"I never mind that."

She feels sore all over, like she's just taken a series of body blows from a mob of bad guys. Between the emotions that have been riding high all day and the sudden letdown of Stark's failed experiment, her body chemicals are about a hundred versions of messed up right now.

But she can't mind his company. If anything, she craves it, the solidity and steadiness he brings. She pauses and waits for him to catch up, her eyes dark and solemn as she watches him. "Are you sure you're okay?"

[nerves_of_ice]

“I’m sure.” He falls in beside her and looks down at her as they start to walk again, searching her face. “Are you?” he asks, softly.

[from_the_outside]

Yes rises to her lips, but he knows her well enough now to know when she's lying, and she doesn't want to lie to him. "I don't know, Bucky," she says, finally.

"The experiment didn't hurt me. But it didn't work, either."

[nerves_of_ice]

“I know.” How badly must she be hurting, having her hopes crushed like that? He keeps his voice low.

“I’m sorry, angel.”

[from_the_outside]

Maybe this is her fault. Maybe she didn't want to go home enough – but then, she hadn't wanted to come here, in the first place. She shakes off the gloomy thoughts and flicks her crooked smile at him.

"I know, baby," she murmurs, and lets her fingers brush his. "Thanks for trying."

[nerves_of_ice]

“Of course.” Just as quiet, deep and steady.

Steve and Peggy are talking quietly behind them. He can’t hear what they’re saying, but he’s glad they’re giving them a little space.

“Do you want me to wait for you to change?”

[from_the_outside]

She nods, and glances back at her aunt and Steve before looking back at him.

"Can you sneak away with me?" she asks, soft. "A little later? Just for a little while?"