[ WWII AU ] what a night to go dreaming

[from_the_outside]

There's no doubt that things have shifted, a little, since the day they spent tangled up together in that sun-dappled cottage, tucked away in the trees behind the nearby town. The other Howling Commandos have, seemingly by silent agreement, stopped flirting so outrageously with her, though she's caught Jim and Gabe giving Bucky more than one fondly exasperated glance. She still dances with all of them, and enjoys their company, but they yield the floor to Bucky at the end of the night, and he's the one who, as she said she wanted, walks her back to her tent. 

And then there are their rendezvous' out in the field, where she still checks, each night, for a portal opening in the air. It never comes, but she spends hours there with him, walking and laughing and dancing under the starlight, stealing every moment they can together.

Aunt Peggy says nothing, but Sharon knows she can tell things have changed. There's a worried frown that lives between her brows, but she doesn't forbid her niece to see Steve's best friend, knowing it would only backfire.

Other things change not at all... like the morning tests Howard still makes them do. They're nearing the end of the sequence today, and she lets go of Bucky when Howard tells her to, careful not to linger. It's difficult to say what Stark thinks of his findings; he mutters to himself and snaps at his assistants, but all she can glean from it is that the resonance is still fading at a regular rate from her cells.

But none of them know why.

Comments

[from_the_outside]

"I know you wouldn't," she murmurs, and a terrible sadness sweeps over her.

If she told him, maybe he'd have a chance to escape his fate. If she could bring him back with her, he wouldn't be on that train in the Alps.

And maybe then Steve wouldn't be so reckless, wouldn't crash into the sea. Maybe he'd have a life without being trapped in ice. And they'd be reunited in the future.

But she can't say any of that. As terrible as it all is, she apparently has to let it happen.

[nerves_of_ice]

Something changes in her expression, and he cradles her cheek with his hand, trying to soothe. “Don’t be sad, baby,” he whispers.

[from_the_outside]

Her smile flickers, wry. "Too late," she murmurs, and turns her head to press a kiss into his palm, sweet and almost reverent.

"You're not a little sad?"

[nerves_of_ice]

“I am,” he admits. “I’m going to miss you, angel.”

[from_the_outside]

"I'm going to miss you, too."

She has to believe the experiment will work, will send her home, because it's the best shot at it by far. But that also means she has to believe these are the last few hours she has with him.

A small smile flicker over her lips. "And here I thought you weren't going to break my heart, Bucky Barnes."

[nerves_of_ice]

“Well, I sure didn’t mean to.”

He leans close and gives her a sweet, gentle kiss. “But if it’s any consolation, you knocked me for a loop.”

[from_the_outside]

"Well, it's nice to know I'm not the only one," she teases, gently, and kisses him back before leaning her forehead against his.

"Stay here with me for a little while?"

[nerves_of_ice]

“As long as I can,” he promises, soft and low. Bucky draws her close to him, trying to memorize the feel of her in his arms.

[from_the_outside]

She wishes they could go to the little cottage, that they could spend a few of these last hours bare and tangled up in each other, but the freedom they've been given this afternoon only goes so far. Instead, she coaxes him to lie back in the grass and curls against his side, her head on his shoulder and her arm over his middle. She watches the clouds pass overhead, pointing out ones with especially interesting shapes, as the sun lifts and begins to lower again.

It's enough. It has to be. Some hours here together, and then dinner, and what might be her last evening at the 'pub,' dancing and laughing and talking with the friends she's made here.

And then – maybe – tonight, a way home.

[nerves_of_ice]

The hours pass quickly. All too soon, it’s less than an hour to test time, Howard having decided to pin the experimental attempt as close to the minute of Sharon’s arrival as possible.

Bucky meets the lab techs in the field as ordered while Sharon’s off changing clothes. It’s a good thing her aunt is with her, he figures, given that outfit. Steve’s nearby as well, determined that Bucky won’t go through this without him.

He stands under the tree and watches with mild trepidation as the techs ring him with wires and small metal towers and antennas, each linked to a field generator for power.

[from_the_outside]

She's rarely been so grateful for Peggy Carter's practicality and stiff upper lip as she is now. Her aunt folds and sets aside the clothes Sharon sheds, and waits as Sharon zips into the familiar white catsuit, the fabric clinging to her body. Her boots come next, then her utility belt and thigh holster.

Last is her phone, powered on the way it had been when she arrived, the precious new photo saved in a series of places on it.

Finished, she looks up at her aunt, who studies her back for a long moment before stepping in to embrace her, silent and warm. Sharon clings to her as long as she can, before Aunt Peggy pulls away with a slight sniff. "Come along, darling," she murmurs. "They're expecting us."

The scene at the field is bizarre in the extreme. Howard's assistants are clustered around Bucky, Stark himself fiddling with a box at the edge of the treeline. She hears footsteps behind her and sees Harry Jackson come huffing along the path, a strange gun in his arms. "Is that – " Sharon starts, as Peggy's hand comes to her arm.

One of the weapons they'd liberated from the Skull. It must be. And as she watches Harry carry it over to Howard, she realizes how they're planning to try and emulate the power source that brought her here.

[nerves_of_ice]

Bucky eyes the weapon Jackson shows up with. “Careful there,” he cautions. “We don’t want anyone turning into dust.”

“Or exploding,” Howard says. “That stuff’s volatile as hell. Nearly blew up the lab back at base.”

This doesn’t make him feel any better about things, but that’s about when another of the techs spots Sharon’s approach and trips over his own feet. Bucky bites back a grin, while Steve flushes.

[from_the_outside]

"Careful!" snaps Howard, turning to the lab tech, but he almost swallows his own tongue as he glances in the direction the man had been looking. "Uh, Agent Carter, is that – "

Peggy gives him a cool stare. "Keep your eyes in your skull, Howard," she says, crisply. "Or you won't be much use to us at all."

Sharon meets Bucky's glance and shrugs, very slightly, the edge of her mouth twitching up.

[nerves_of_ice]

“I still say that’s one heck of a uniform,” Bucky drawls. “All you need are the wings.”

Peggy gives him an exasperated look, while Steve ducks his head to swallow a smile.

[from_the_outside]

Howard’s throat bobs as he swallows, but he catches a stern glance from Steve and gives himself a shake, waving Sharon forward.

“Over here, Agent,” he tells her, and directs her to stand where she’d first appeared, before his lab techs come to drape her with wires and sensors.

[nerves_of_ice]

“So how is this going to work exactly?” Bucky asks, watching as the techs set up equipment around Sharon. Her aunt’s watching too, he notices, making sure there’s no impropriety.

“We’ve got a couple of options to try,” Howard says, turning to him. He waves at the wires and generators. “First we’ll create an electrical current, since that’s what Agent Carter said happened in her lab, and we’ll use the field generated to interact with the resonance your cells are still radiating. Then we’ll target where the tear in the sky was.”

“Target it with what?” Bucky asks, with the sinking feeling that he already knows.

[from_the_outside]

"With the weapon," Howard explains, as the lab techs cover her with wiring and equipment. "We need the frequency to try and reverse the resonance Agent Carter is emitting."

"Reverse it?" Sharon says, surprised, and casts a wary glance at the wiring now covering her torso. "You're not going to zap me with that thing, are you?"

[nerves_of_ice]

“The hell he is,” Bucky snaps, expression hard. “I saw enough soldiers turn into dust and ash with one hit, we’re not risking it here—-“

“Simmer down, Sergeant,” Howard grouses. “That’s what the wires are for. They act like a Faraday cage, got it? Whatever’s inside doesn’t get hurt. And anyway we’re not aiming it at her, we’re aiming it at you.”

[from_the_outside]

“You’re doing no such thing,” Steve says, sharp, before she can open her mouth the protest. “Howard, no.”

Stark turns to him, exasperated. “It’s safe,” he promises. “We’ve tested it over and over. It won’t hurt the Sergeant.”

“You’ve got to be kidding,” Sharon says, heated. “Absolutely not.”

[nerves_of_ice]

“We’ve tested it!” Howard argues. “What more do you want?”

“Why do you need to fire it at me?” Bucky interrupts. Howard turns to him. “Because you were the anchor point, right? For her arrival. We need you to anchor the reversal. And it has to be you because of the resonance. No one else has it but her.”

Bucky takes a slow breath. “Okay.”

[from_the_outside]

"You absolutely don't have to do this," Sharon tells Bucky. There's no room for negotiation in her tone.

All she can think about is the way he'd said it didn't hit me this time after she'd arrived. The thought that he'd have to endure being hit by it again is almost too much to bear.

[nerves_of_ice]

“I know,” he murmurs. He does, but. But.

But if he doesn’t, if they don’t try, then maybe Sharon never gets to go home. He can’t do that to her. He can’t.

The agonized look on Steve’s face tells him his best friend knows exactly what he’s thinking. Steve turns to Howard. “Are you sure? Absolutely sure?”

“I wouldn’t suggest it if I thought it’d - well. If it’d do that,” Howard says. “At worst a shock, maybe, from the wires. Faraday cages are safe. That’s why we use them.”

[from_the_outside]

He'd told her he'd do whatever was necessary, and she knows he'd meant it, but that doesn't make any of this easier.

It's his decision. And she knows he'd never forgive himself if they didn't try and missed their one shot at sending her home.

Howard checks his watch and looks at Bucky. "Sergeant," he says. "I know I'm asking a lot. I need you to trust me."

[nerves_of_ice]

“Do it,” Bucky says, firmly. “I’m ready. Whatever you need.”

He looks at Steve, then at Sharon. “It’ll be okay,” he promises.

[from_the_outside]

She keeps her gaze on him as Stark's techs finish with their equipment, the wires a net around him and around her, too. Off to the side, Harry Jackson activates the weapon with a whine and familiar blue glow, and goosebumps chase along Sharon's skin.

Howard glances at his watch again, then gestures for Steve and Aunt Peggy and the techs to step back. "Okay," he says. "Just about there."

Sharon looks across the short expanse of field to meet Bucky's eyes, her own dark and solemn as stark starts counting down and her breath quickens.

This might be the last glimpse she gets of him, and she refuses to blink, to lose even a second of it.