[oom] all those times we looked up at the sky

[from_the_outside]

Karli's on the move; she'll strike soon. Bucky and Sam have been in long, tense conversations with each other and with Torres, and she herself has been keeping an obsessive eye on the tracker blip that is Batroc.

It's a lot. The air in the apartment is tense. But she still has to laugh at the sight that greets her when she walks into the living room: Bucky crouched down, his phone out as he takes a photo of Alpine, who is lounging in lazy grandeur, soaking up a puddle of sunshine.

"That'll be a good one," she approves. "Baby, I've been wondering – what happened to your nice camera? You didn't leave it in Wakanda, did you?"

Comments

[from_the_outside]

"That was me."

She smiles at his teasing, then more ruefully at the memory. She'd been so furious, snapping and hurt and lashing out like a caged, feral animal. She'd put them through so much. "I couldn't have let you three see me then."

[nerves_of_ice]

“But then you watched over us,” he points out. “Our guardian angel.”

[from_the_outside]

"Well, I couldn't let you get murdered in Madripoor, either."

Zemo, maybe. Bucky would have been fine. But Sam? It was like throwing a steak to wild dogs.

[nerves_of_ice]

A small shudder runs through him, and he holds her a little closer against him. Sometimes he dreams of seeing the sniper’s shadow and not following, and never knowing, going back to a world without Sharon—

He lowers his face to her hair and breathes in her scent. “Thank you,” he whispers. “For helping, sure, but…for letting us know it was you.”

[from_the_outside]

He curls around her and holds her close, like she's a precious, fragile treasure, and she closes her eyes, just breathing. "I almost didn't."

It's a whisper of a confession. Her hands are gentle on him as she says it.

[nerves_of_ice]

"I suspected." His breath barely stirs her hair.

"But you did. And I'll be grateful for that for the rest of my life."

[from_the_outside]

"Me, too."

When it came down to it, she hadn't been able to stop herself. She'd told herself it would be a confrontation, that she'd be in control. That however angry she was with them, they needed her if they were going to make it out of Madripoor. "I told myself I was just going to get you all out and make a deal with Sam," she murmurs.

Thinking, as she had, that Bucky himself had left her behind. "I hated that you were there. Both of you. And you hadn't even come for me. But then when I saw you, and you saw me..."

She shivers and shakes her head. "I'm sorry."

[nerves_of_ice]

He kisses her hair, her forehead, her cheek.

"Baby, no," he assures her. "I'm sorry. Sorry I believed Fury. Sorry I didn't come for you years ago. Sorry I didn't-- I should have. I should have."

[from_the_outside]

"You didn't know."

The pain that had ripped at her then, when she finally believed that he really hadn't known, that Fury had lied, that he hadn't left her there knowing she was all alone, had been breathless and vicious.

She makes a soft sound as his lips touch her skin and runs her hand gently over his hair. "If you hadn't gotten snapped... or if I had..."

Sharon shakes her head. "Those five years changed me. I never could have believed you'd leave me there otherwise. I am sorry for that. For letting myself believe it. You never deserved that."

[nerves_of_ice]

"Neither did you." It's sure and certain and undeniable. Bucky looks up at her.

"You didn't, Sharon."

[from_the_outside]

She curves her hand at the side of his face and leans down to kiss him, softly, instead of answering.

"I love how easily you can say that," she murmurs. "I love that you believe it. Keep believing it for me, baby. Maybe I'll get there someday."

[nerves_of_ice]

"I will," he promises, tilting his head into her touch. "As long as you need. And then after. Because it's true."

[from_the_outside]

His certainty is a sweet balm, and she doesn't know if she deserves even that, but she wants it anyway. She wants it to be true, for him to be right, that she hadn't wholly lost herself in Madripoor the way she thought she had.

"You reminded me of myself," she murmurs. "You brought me back to me. You remind me every day. I'm so grateful for that, Bucky."

[nerves_of_ice]

"Sharon Carter," he tells her. Bucky leans in to give her a kiss. "My angel."

[from_the_outside]

"Yours," she agrees, and kisses him again, slow and thorough. "As long as you'll have me."

And past that, probably. If the last six years hadn't changed how she felt, she thinks probably nothing can.

[nerves_of_ice]

"Forever, then," he confirms, kissing her back and lingering over the feel of her mouth, the weight of her body in his arms. "I'll keep you forever."

[from_the_outside]

She smiles, sweet and warm, and kisses him again. "Okay," she murmurs, as easily as if he'd given her an option for dinner. "Forever, then."

For a moment, it unfolds in her mind, everything they'd ever dreamed about, and more. A little place in Brooklyn. Waking up to him every morning. Maybe, one day, a golden-haired baby with his eyes and her nose.

Things she hasn't let herself think about, and still doesn't. They pass in a flash of warmth and leave her here, in his arms, in this moment alone.

[nerves_of_ice]

"Yes," he whispers, and kisses her once again, cherishing her. She's here, with him; neither of them are alone anymore.

[from_the_outside]

She makes a soft sound against his mouth and kisses him back, then pulls away with a deep breath.

"But we have to deal with Karli, first."

[nerves_of_ice]

Bucky sighs, very nearly echoing her, and forces himself to turn his thoughts to the problem.

"No word from Torres yet; no signs of activity among the Flag Smashers channels he's been monitoring. Anything from the tracker?"

[from_the_outside]

"He's on the move," she tells him, "but I'm not sure where yet."

She sits back in his lap, her arms loose about his neck. "Maybe we should be thinking about drawing them out."

[nerves_of_ice]

Bucky eyes her carefully.

"Drawing them out how?"

[from_the_outside]

She meets his gaze steadily.

"I could call her. Arrange a meeting."

[nerves_of_ice]

He forces himself not to reject the idea out of hand, but gives it careful consideration instead.

"With who? Where?"

[from_the_outside]

"With me."

She takes a careful breath. "You and Sam could surprise her. She wouldn't have any idea you'd be working with me."