[oom] nobody told me all the patience it takes

[from_the_outside]

She's had a really nice day. 

It's been ages since she's been able to spend this much time with Nakia, and they'd made the most of it, heading out of the city to go for a long hike and a swim at the end of it, then a wonderful dinner and plenty of wine, and by the time Sharon walks back down to the hut by the lake, she's relaxed and happy and still a little tipsy and she smiles as she smells the familiar scent of coffee drifting from the hut windows.

Bucky's pouring himself a cup as she comes in, and she presses herself familiarly against his back, her arms going around his middle, and presses a fond kiss to his shoulder. It takes her a second – tipsy – but she's pretty sure this isn't the same outfit he was wearing earlier... not that they don't all look sort of similar. "Hi," she says.

"How was your day?"

Comments

[nerves_of_ice]

"Overdue? What, we're on a schedule now?" He tugs at a lock of her hair.

[from_the_outside]

"If we were on one, it got blown to hell a while ago," she admits, smiling as he tugs at her hair.

"Don't tell me you don't think it might be kind of fun to scare some poachers into behaving."

[nerves_of_ice]

It takes him a second to reply, because she's not wrong, and even as he thinks it the guilt wracks him.

Steve's not alone, he reminds himself. He's with Natasha and Sam, even if Bucky can't leave Wakanda's borders yet. His best friend would be - will be - happy to hear that Bucky's starting to find the balance between using his skills as the Winter Soldier and using them as the White Wolf.

"It might," he says, at last, and looks up at her. "It just might, at that."

[from_the_outside]

His expression shifts and turns inward and complex for a second, and she tucks a wayward lock of hair behind his ear and sets her palm against the side of his neck.

"What?" she asks, gently. "Something else on your mind?"

[nerves_of_ice]

"Just thinking about Steve," he says, simply.

[from_the_outside]

"What about Steve?"

Personally, she's relieved not to have to tell Steve that Bucky got eaten by a monster in the Milliways forest, but she somehow doubts that's what he's thinking about.

[nerves_of_ice]

"That I'm glad he's got Natasha and Sam backing him up."

[from_the_outside]

She makes a soft sound of agreement and nods, studying him.

"Feeling bad about not being out there with him?"

[nerves_of_ice]

Bucky nods.

[from_the_outside]

She breathes out softly through her nose and her mouth ticks into a slightly rueful curve.

"If it's really bothering you," she says, "we could go. T'Challa won't make you stay here. Or we could go for a little while and come back."

[nerves_of_ice]

"He wouldn't," Bucky tells her, quiet and certain. "But it's not fair to anyone for me to risk screwing up everything he's done by going, and everything you've done too for that matter."

Not to mention that he knows that both Shuri and Ayemi think he's got more to do on finding out how to reconcile who and what he was with who he is and who he wants to be. He's not sure, but he's not going to argue. They've been right so far, and he owes Shuri more than he can ever repay.

[from_the_outside]

She nods again and tugs lightly on a lock of his hair the way he does so often on his.

"Hey. You guys have time. And Steve's no idiot; he and Sam and Nat are keeping themselves safe out there."

Still, there's understanding in her gaze as she looks at him. "Maybe he can come back for a visit again sometime soon."

[nerves_of_ice]

"I know. And maybe." The corner of his mouth turns up in a smile as she plays with his hair.

[from_the_outside]

"And in the meantime, you still have me."

Her smile quirks right back at him. "And Shuri and T'Challa and everyone. I know we're not Steve, but it's not so bad, right?"

[nerves_of_ice]

In answer, he leans up to kiss her. "Not bad at all," he murmurs, when it breaks. "I don't know how I got this lucky. I don't deserve it."

[from_the_outside]

"Disagree," she says, stubborn and fond.

"You deserve every good thing there is. If I could figure out a way to give them all to you, I would."

[nerves_of_ice]

"I know you would." It's just another reason he doesn't deserve her, but he knows better than to argue further.

[from_the_outside]

"Damn right."

She leans in to press a kiss to his forehead. "Because you're my sweetheart."

And even if he weren't, he'd still deserve every good thing that might come his way.

[nerves_of_ice]

"And you're mine," he tells her, pulling her a little closer. "All the way."

[from_the_outside]

"Honestly I'd be a little concerned at this point if that wasn't the case," she points out, amused.

"Since I'm here nine nights out of ten." Among other reasons.

[nerves_of_ice]

"Well, don't be. You are." He says it firmly. "Just like I know I'm yours. I told Zinda that, too."

[from_the_outside]

“Hmm?”

She pulls back to look at him, feeling like she’s missed something. “What about Zinda?”

[nerves_of_ice]

"Ran into her at the bar, too." Bucky shrugs. "We caught up on a few things."

[from_the_outside]

“No, I mean, why would you - “

She shakes her head. “How’s Zinda?”

Whatever her feelings about the woman, she’s Bucky’s friend, and that takes precedence.

[nerves_of_ice]

"She's good," Bucky tells her. Absently, he traces a random pattern on her arm with his right hand. "Her squad's having a little trouble back home, sounds like, but hopefully that'll get sorted out soon."