[ WWII AU ] a ghost story

[from_the_outside]

It's been almost two years since she's been home, and little by little, the grief has gotten easier to live with.

It hasn't gone away. But she's able to focus on her job, watch movies, chat with friends, sleep most nights. She still dreams about him, but the dreams are tinged with wistful longing and only sometimes does she wake up with tears on her cheeks. She can't have his picture out in this apartment, Kate's apartment, but it's safe in the mountain house, along with his last letter to her, and she has a scan on her phone to look at when the long day is over and she's in bed, the stars from the lamp he'd given her filling her dark room.

Steve has helped, more than she could ever explain, and she hopes she's helped him in return. Aside from a few deeply classified missions here and there, they haven't worked together all that much, but she still sees him almost every day. In the halls, she's undercover as his mild-mannered neighbor, Kate, but in her secure apartment they can talk over anything, everything.

And it works. Every day is a little easier. They lean on each other when they need to, and they spend hours remembering and reminiscing about Bucky, talking shop, chatting about how Steve's fitting into the future. It's nice. She still misses Bucky, an ache that never really goes away, but they can both breathe through it, work through it, live through it.

She's on her way up from the basement laundry machines when she hears a familiar step in the hall, and has to smile to herself – first her own, then Kate's sweeter, more open one. "Hey, neighbor."

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[nerves_of_ice]

“Not completely.” He can’t look at her, so he looks down and past her shoulder, into empty space.

“It made them strong, but it drove them insane.”

[from_the_outside]

Strong but insane sounds much too much like the Red Skull for her comfort. He's not looking at her, but he's answering her questions, and he hasn't frozen up again, so Sharon doesn't try to force his glance back to meet hers. Her voice is steady as she probes further.

"Are they still a threat?"

[nerves_of_ice]

“Not right now.” It’s all he can offer.

He doesn’t - is there anyone left who knows? Who’d dare reactivating them even after what happened, now that he’s escaped?

[from_the_outside]

"Okay," she murmurs. It isn't, not by a long shot, but she can't press much more on this. "Okay, Bucky. Then we have some time to figure out what to do about them."

Maybe not much time, but some. She'll take it.

[nerves_of_ice]

His reply is nearly inaudible in how quiet it is, but every word is clear. "They can't be controlled. Not like me."

[from_the_outside]

She wants to tell him you won't be more much longer, but she has no idea how long it might take to remove the controls from his mind. The only thing she knows for sure is that even bringing it up will only be painful to him. "Then we'll deal with them some other way."

[nerves_of_ice]

He nods, still looking down and a little to the side, and says nothing.

HYDRA would have reactivated them if they could have. If they could have used them in any way. He's sure of that. One Winter Soldier was good, but six would have delighted them. They never did, and therefore they couldn't. Can't.

He might have to make sure. But not yet.

[from_the_outside]

"Bucky." She tugs lightly on his shirt, wanting him to look back at her, wanting him to come back from the blankness in his eyes. "We'll figure it out. I promise."

[nerves_of_ice]

Her bid for attention is gentle but clear. He blinks and focuses back on her face.

"I know." He draws a careful breath. "They weren't - they're not. Like me. Just so you know."

[from_the_outside]

She gives him a small, wry smile. "You always were one of a kind, baby."

But whatever the process did to him, it didn't drive him insane. He's different, splintered, but his mind is there, even if it's in pieces. "Sokovia first. Then we'll figure out what to do about them. Okay?"

[nerves_of_ice]

"Sokovia first," he agrees, and leaves the rest alone. Bucky glances at the door Steve had disappeared through, then shifts to her side to bend back over the map.